Toni Tony Tone, Timmy, and Roysie

(This post is a part of a series entitled “Kate’s Favorite Sabre Competition” in which I am choosing my 2007/08 favorite Sabre by process of elimination. Each and every Sabre is a hero, but in the end, there can be only one favorite.)

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Let’s dig right in to our fourth round of cuts, shall we?

Toni Lydman #5

Toni Lydman made it a lot farther in this competition than I thought he would. I have no idea why, but I kind of like this fella. I suspect that my affection for Toni Lydman is based on two things:

1. He’s grinning like loon in his roster photo. (Note to non-smiley Sabres: Why so grumpy?)
2. When I did an image search for Toni Lydman, I found this, this, and this. I totally dig the many faces of Toni Tony Tone, and I admire a man who is not afraid to mix it up, hair-wise.

Toni likes to listen to “thrash metal” (whatever that is), and I’m a classical musician by trade. I can’t help but imagine the two of us together on a long car ride, fighting good-naturedly for control of the radio, each secretly enjoying the others music. I could teach him to like Bartok, and he could teach me to like TestAmenT. We’d be so cute together!

Oh, who am I kidding? These “opposites attract” things never last. Toni, this just isn’t going to work…but at least we’ll always have that awesome road trip to remember. Dollywood ’07, Baby!!! Whoooo-OOooo!!!

Tim Connolly #19

Tim Connolly is a little too pretty for my tastes. Something about those luscious lips just don’t say “Favorite Sabre” to me. Also, all I ever hear about is how Timmy is only one concussion away from needing to hire a full-time drool wiper. His delicacy scares me, and I don’t think I can handle a year of watching him play while peeking through the fingers over my eyes. The Sabres have high hopes for Tim Connolly, and I hear that if he can put together a full, injury-free season, it’s possible he’ll make us forget all about Daniel Briere. Hell, yeah, is all I have to say about that.

I have every hope that someday Connolly’s delicateness will be overshadowed by his badassedness, and when that day comes, I will happily revisit his “Favorite Sabre” status. Until then, buckle your seat-belt, watch your head, and don’t get hurt, Timmy.

Derek Roy #9

Derek Roy reminds me of so many boys that I have known over the years. He’s that guy that you used to hate in your math class, but then when you hung out with him in art class, he was almost kind of cool. You’ve known him since you were both little kids. For years your best friend had a crush on him, and (even though you warned her that he was a punk) she finally made out with him at the homecoming dance. Of course he was really rude to her in the halls after that, and so you had to pretend that you hated him even though you didn’t. Frankly, your friend was kind of an idiot, and he really hadn’t done anything that horrible…..he was just being Derek. And then, years later you ran into him in a bar, and he brought her up (your friend) and he told you that he had always felt badly about how he treated her, and that he had only ignored her because she made him so nervous. You admitted that you didn’t think it was that big a deal, and that you never really had, and you apologized for siding so strongly with your girlfriend all those years ago. So you guys had a laugh about how stupid everyone was in high school, and you suddenly realized that you had known Derek Roy for twenty years, but until that moment, you had never realized that you two were kind of friends. For a brief second in the bar you thought, “Whoa, am I hot for Derek?” But thankfully, you quickly came to your senses, because…..eww. No.

There is so much to like about Derek Roy’s playing. He’s scrappy, fast, and dynamic; but then there is the diving and the whining, and I’m sorry…….but, eww. No. I am however extremely glad to have him on the team for the next six years, and I look forward to seeing if he can step up into a leadership role in the absence of the co-captains next season. I don’t really have the hockey smarts to speculate too much on his potential production, but he’s clearly a key member of the little crew of guys that came up from Rochester. At this point, they’ve all known each other forever. It’s time for Derek to dive (see how I did that?) right into his “hockey adulthood”.

———-

Alright, Dear Readers, this is it. After this round, there are no more easy cuts. Brace yourselves because it’s going to get ruthless in here!

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17 Responses to “Toni Tony Tone, Timmy, and Roysie”


  1. 1 Schnookie August 24, 2007 at 12:01 am

    I wholeheartedly endorse these cuts. (And can’t help but grumble that Yo-Yo got cut before these guys — no, I’m never going to let that go.) Furthermore, I really, really hope Roysie reads this.

  2. 2 Pookie August 24, 2007 at 12:03 am

    Toni Lydman was a superstar pick up for me the first season I played for-reals, online fantasy hockey. I can’t remember why I picked up and Ben Clymer up, but I did and they both got me lots of cheap points. For that reason, I will always like those two guys. Of course, that’s not a good reason for a guy to be a favorite play, so I also wholeheartedly endorse these cuts.

  3. 3 Heather B. August 24, 2007 at 12:05 am

    Well, you spelled Timmy’s last name wrong (Connolly) so it’s probably a good think you didn’t get that jersey made ;-) Timmy was at one time my favorite Sabre and he’s still pretty high on the list. Oh, my gosh, Kate, just you wait. Sometimes he is just plain beautiful out there on the ice. That said, yes, it is VERY difficult watching him without feeling like he’s going to break into pieces with every hit. For the love of all that is good and right, Timmy, WEAR A MOUTH GUARD! AND TIGHTEN THAT CHIN STRAP! AND GROW BACK SOME HAIR!

    I love Derek but I spend far too much time being exasperated with him for him to be my favorite.

    I’m a little surprised to see Toni cut so soon. You seemed to be taking a liking to him.

  4. 4 Pookie August 24, 2007 at 12:05 am

    Uh, it’s been brought to my attention that I shouldn’t leave comments past my bedtime. Apparently my previous comment is “missing words and letters”, or so says Miss Fancy Pants Proof Reader Schnookie. Also, apparently, I can’t edit my comment. So… just add words and letters where appropriate.

  5. 5 Katebits August 24, 2007 at 12:13 am

    Oh my GOD! I can’t believe I spelled Connolly wrong! It’s all fixed now. How shameful.

    I’m a little surprised to see Toni cut so soon. You seemed to be taking a liking to him.

    It’s really not that soon anymore, Heather. The pickings are getting very slim, and basically I love everybody else left. I am starting to regret choosing this format where I eliminate guys, because it necessitates listing their faults. I think everyone needs to brace themselves for the possibility that their favorite player MIGHT not win. I am getting scared to unveil the cuts now.

    (And can’t help but grumble that Yo-Yo got cut before these guys — no, I’m never going to let that go.)

    You are SO effing right. Really. I am so sorry I cut Yo-Yo so soon.

  6. 6 Katebits August 24, 2007 at 12:15 am

    Apparently my previous comment is “missing words and letters”, or so says Miss Fancy Pants Proof Reader Schnookie.

    And yet she didn’t correct my spelling of Connolly. Hmpf.

  7. 7 Heather B. August 24, 2007 at 12:22 am

    I think everyone needs to brace themselves for the possibility that their favorite player MIGHT not win.

    I can’t wait for you to cut Hank! I don’t wanna share, Ma!

  8. 8 Heather B. August 24, 2007 at 12:26 am

    Also:

    Toni Lydman was a superstar pick up for me the first season I played for-reals, online fantasy hockey.

    I love that Pookie had to distinguish between “real” fantasy hockey and they kind of fantasy hockey that’s played at IPB.

    And you’re right, Kate. You have cut all of the obvious guys. There are a couple more I’d personally cut without much hesitation but you’re getting to the nitty gritty.

  9. 9 Schnookie August 24, 2007 at 12:40 am

    And yet she didn’t correct my spelling of Connolly. Hmpf.

    It was noted, with some gentle cringing, here at IPB Manor, but we just looked away with a hint of pity in the air rather than say anything. Kind of how we hope people respond to the train-wreck spelling, grammar and formatting at IPB…

    I love that Pookie had to distinguish between “real” fantasy hockey and they kind of fantasy hockey that’s played at IPB.

    Damn straight! Because Toni Lydman is no kind of superstar pick for the kind of fantasy hockey we normally play! If you know what I mean. (To which Sid would say, straight-faced and wooden-robotically, “No, I don’t know what you mean…”)

  10. 10 Meg August 24, 2007 at 1:00 am

    Well, I’m sad that you cut Lydman as he and Gaustad are my two favorites at the moment (granted I’m fickle and my favorites are subject to frequent change). But I definitely can’t argue with Roy (the diving, yes) or Connolly (about whom I’ve heard some less than flattering things) so I suppose on the balance I like these cuts.

  11. 11 Heather B. August 24, 2007 at 1:34 am

    But I definitely can’t argue with Roy (the diving, yes) or Connolly (about whom I’ve heard some less than flattering things) so I suppose on the balance I like these cuts.

    Meg, like things from other real people or media type stuff? Because I will admit that part of why Connolly started to fall from my graces is because I’ve heard a few stories that suggest he’s kind of an asshole sometimes which makes me sad.

    I totally forget about Goose! Wow, you do have some tough cuts coming up, Kate!

  12. 12 Meg August 24, 2007 at 8:54 am

    Meg, like things from other real people or media type stuff? Because I will admit that part of why Connolly started to fall from my graces is because I’ve heard a few stories that suggest he’s kind of an asshole sometimes which makes me sad.

    Real people, but totally secondhand stuff. You know, nothing I would guarantee is reliable. So I wouldn’t be comfortable saying “Connolly is a asshole because…” but it’s definitely made me think, Hmm, Connolly sounds like a jerk. Which is indeed sad, because you never want to think that about people. I prefer to think that everyone is charming and nice.

  13. 13 andrew August 24, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Kate, you’re a superstar. These cuts are fucking hilarious. I was particularly moved by this little zinger, “Timmy is only one concussion away from needing to hire a full-time drool wiper” Brutal! Yet hilariously true.

    Keep up the great work!

  14. 14 Gambler August 24, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    These are all solid cuts, although I can’t blame you for wanting to hold on to Toni because of his roster photo. It’s so funny and cute!

    And that bit about Roy is hilarious! (And somehow impossibly true. He is that guy!)

    The cuts are getting hard now, I can’t wait to see what happens next! (Thanks for doing this, by the way. It makes me miss Project Runway a little less.)

  15. 15 Amy August 24, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    Toni likes to listen to “thrash metal” (whatever that is), and I’m a classical musician by trade. I can’t help but imagine the two of us together on a long car ride, fighting good-naturedly for control of the radio, each secretly enjoying the others music.

    I know its not thrash metal, but the Scorpions and the Berlin Symphony combined to do a version of Rock You Like a Hurricane. The classical music portion of it is the Sabres intro music on MSG. So there is proof that classical music and metal can get along, temporarily at least.

    These eliminations from the favorite Sabre competition have been great fun to read. I’m looking forward to the rest.

  16. 16 Icing August 26, 2007 at 12:27 am

    Awesome Kate. Simply….awesome.

  17. 17 Christina September 5, 2007 at 10:18 am

    Hey, Kate, I almost called you last night…I saw Connelly at Gabriel’s Gate. I think if you saw him in person you’d think he’s hot.


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