Groins: The Innocent Victims.

Something is terribly wrong with the groins in the NHL.

Connolly, Peters, Afinogenov, Kalinin, and Gaustad…..and those are just the Sabres groins. It’s an NHL-wide epidemic, and it’s devastating the groins of otherwise healthy young men. Enough is enough. I am here to speak out in strong advocacy of groins everywhere. We must find a cure. This disease must be stopped.

If you would like to donate time or money to the cause of groin health and research, please call 1-800-GRN-CURE. Volunteers are standing by. Please, don’t turn your back on these young millionaires. Right now, the groin trauma is contained to the NHL, but without a cure, your groin could be next.

Thank you for your support.

Ew.

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23 Responses to “Groins: The Innocent Victims.”


  1. 1 alix September 27, 2007 at 10:12 pm

    :^:::::::::

    Love it! You’re hilarious Katebits. Apparantly the Canucks have so many sore groins they’ve started yoga classes. Maybe soon the entire NHL will be yogi masters.

  2. 2 Gambler September 27, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Hah! It looks like Jagr’s wearing a jersey that says “Tater” on the front. What a tater!

  3. 3 Sam September 27, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    I volunteer to rub Gaustad’s groin whenever he wants. Seriously, magic fingers over here…

    You know, shortly after the lockout ended, there was an absolute explosion of groin injuries, and a lot of people said it was because the rule changes had opened up the game, and guys weren’t conditioned for the high speed necessary in the “new” NHL. As I recall, this argument was undermined by the obvious fact that most of the guys getting injured had already been speed demons before the lockout.

  4. 4 Katebits September 27, 2007 at 11:56 pm

    I would like to point out that it was a BOY who took this conversation to a dirty place! Not me!

  5. 5 Sam September 28, 2007 at 12:13 am

    Sorry, forgot to close my tag…

  6. 8 Katebits September 28, 2007 at 12:19 am

    What are you going for here, Sammy?! Can I help in any way?

  7. 9 Meg September 28, 2007 at 12:33 am

    Apparantly the Canucks have so many sore groins they’ve started yoga classes. Maybe soon the entire NHL will be yogi masters.

    Alix, I was about to say that I bet there would be fewer groin problems if NHL players started yoga…and what do you know, the Canucks are way ahead of me! I think that’s a really good idea.

  8. 10 Becky September 28, 2007 at 5:17 am

    The most famous temperamental groin belongs to Dominick Hasek. No one was ever sure if it really bothered him or he was just pissed off about something. Usually the latter.

  9. 11 Sam September 28, 2007 at 9:02 am

    Temperamental Groin? Sounds like a great name for a metal band…

  10. 12 ccomfort September 28, 2007 at 10:44 am

    I can see it now, annother annoying commercial during hockey games. 1st there was veins veins veins, then Brian Campbells exessive sweating commercial, who is going to be this years Sabres representative for Groin Centers of America?

  11. 13 Amy September 28, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    Kate, do you watch The Office? Because I can totally picture a Katebits NHL Groin Awareness Celebrity Fun Run Race for the Cure.

    If you don’t watch The Office, then the above is meaningless gibberish.

  12. 14 Heather B. September 28, 2007 at 3:52 pm

    The most famous temperamental groin belongs to Dominick Hasek. No one was ever sure if it really bothered him or he was just pissed off about something. Usually the latter.

    Usually.

    Dom’s my fantasy goalie this season which means about six weeks into the season his groin is going to snap in two.

  13. 15 Glenn September 28, 2007 at 8:09 pm

    WHy “Ew”? I like that pic.

  14. 16 Heather B. September 28, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    Glenn, Jaromir Jagr ALWAYS get an “Ew.” In fact, I can’t believe you even used his picture, Kate.

  15. 17 Katebits September 28, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    Well, I was looking for an “ew” worthy picture. Can’t go wrong with Jagr.

  16. 18 elise September 28, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    kate, you are a certifiable genius. i hereby invite you to the next Learning Lab. i’m sure they study groins.

  17. 19 Paul Mast September 30, 2007 at 12:09 am

    I want to see a commercial about Brian Campbell’s hyperveinous excessively sweaty groin.

  18. 20 Courtney S.F. September 30, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    Those sabre boys just need to do more stretching like that responsible young man in the picture.

  19. 21 Katebits September 30, 2007 at 8:32 pm

    Courtney, I’ve seen the Sabres practice, and I assure you, all they do is stretch their groins. They hump the ice for HOURS at a time.


  1. 1 5 Things « The Willful Caboose Trackback on November 3, 2007 at 3:44 pm

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