Battle of the Secondary Teams

One of my favorite things about watching secondary teams is finding out that I prefer one random team over another. Why would I prefer the Thrashers over Montreal? Who knows, but apparently I do. Tonight, two of my favorite secondary teams faced off, and I was given the opportunity to discover once and for all: Who do I like better the Minnesota Wild, or the Pittsburgh Penguins?

Penguins

Pros:

- Sidney Crosby. So spunky! He’s saving hockey! He’s a wunderkind!
- Mark Recchi. He’s old and pleasant looking!
- Maxime Talbot. Cutest effing kid ever. I love him. I love his moostache.

Cons:

- Sidney Crosby. He’s playing against my fantasy team this week. Uncool, Sid.
- Petr Sykora. Ew.
- I’m not super into Malkin. Don’t know why.

The Minnesota Wild

Pros:

- Helloooo, I’m from Minnesota?
- I’m going to a Wild game in December.
- I dig how I can’t tell any of the Wild players apart. At first I was annoyed by this, but now I find it sort of sweet it a “Minnesota bland” kind of way. The Wild appeal to the part of me that found Chris Drury (R.I.P.) so very, very fetching.

Cons:

- I can’t possibly be the first person to point this out, but the Wild’s home jerseys make them look like shopping mall Christmas elves. I hate their home jerseys so much.
- Their name is an adjective (or maybe it’s an adverb). Whatever it is, it’s stupid. The Wild is an annoying name for a hockey team.

The Verdict

So, who did I love the most? Which team grabbed grabbed me by the collar and demanded my love?

Neither!

The Penguins are so plucky and fun, but the Wild are my people.

I watched this game and my heart was not swayed. I was happy when the Penguins won, but I was also sad when the Wild lost. I couldn’t choose. I want to love them both.

I guess I’m just a ho.

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12 Responses to “Battle of the Secondary Teams”


  1. 1 Schnookie October 31, 2007 at 12:10 am

    It seems unfair to have to find out which team you love more on a VS feed. I mean, the game ended and I felt like I’d just been watching 2 1/2 hours of intermission-show highlights or something. It never felt like an actual game!

    You’re so right about the Wild’s home sweaters; in fact, when the game started Boomer said, “The Wild uniforms make me feel like it’s Christmastime!” and we proceeded to spend much of the first period getting ourselves all excited for Christmas. That would be fun in December, but I can imagine it’s tiresome in, say, March.

    Oh, and I don’t like Malkin either. The guy’s been absolutely sick these last two weeks or so, and I’m still like, “Meh.” I think it’s his strangely lumpy face and actuary’s haircut. The combination makes him look like a kind of creepy middle-aged Russian man. When in reality he’s a kind of creepy very young Russian man. There’s a big difference!

  2. 2 Gambler October 31, 2007 at 12:17 am

    - Their name is an adjective (or maybe it’s an adverb). Whatever it is, it’s stupid. The Wild is an annoying name for a hockey team.

    This bothers me SO MUCH. Way more than it should. I find it particularly frustrating because I never know what to call a player on the Wild. A Wild…man? That sounds so stupid! (For the record, this is also why I hate the Lightning and the Avalanche. Plural nouns, people! It’s the way to go!) Between the name and the department-store-elf jerseys, not to mention the maddening is-it-or-is-it-not-a-bear’s-head logo, the Wild make it really hard to like them. They’re lucky my affection for them is unconditional. Well, except for the condition that they must always lose to the Sabres, of course.

  3. 3 Sam October 31, 2007 at 12:42 am

    You’re not a ho. It just wasn’t much of a game. The Wild are without their top goalie and their two best offensive players, and it showed. Bad timing for the national exposure, but for those of us in the West who never get to see Sid and Malkin play the home team, it was required viewing.

    Regarding the sweaters – I watched the game with my equally Wild-obsessed friend Megan, and we both agreed that Versus’s color was WAY screwed up. I was actually wearing one of the same jerseys at the time, so it was an easy comparison, and we can state with some authority that the colors are nowhere near as bright as they looked on Versus tonight. In person (or on a real TV channel,) they don’t really look at all Christmasy, mainly because the green is awfully dark.

    As for the name, I’ve grown to like it almost because of its awkwardness. I would have preferred the Voyageurs (which was one of the other finalist names under consideration back in ’99 and makes sense to anyone who’s lived here,) but “Minnesota Wild” is a longtime regional saying, and overall, I’m at peace with it. I agree that singular team names are awkward and generally to be avoided, but I still think that Wild is a better moniker than Thrashers, Ducks, or Predators.

    Addendum #1: It is a bear’s head. Who’s been saying it isn’t?

    Addendum #2: The issue of what to call a player for the Wild is indeed a serious one. Our TV broadcasters generally settle for calling our guys “members of the Wild” or some such. Sometimes they trip over it, but honestly, they trip over everything, so it’s not that noticeable. And besides, I don’t think this is really an argument against the team, because honestly, what do you call a guy on the Red Sox? (And no, it’s not “a Red Sock.” Ask anyone in New England.) And they seem to get along just fine in life…

  4. 4 Heather B. October 31, 2007 at 12:42 am

    I don’t like either. He looks mentally impaired. I don’t know if that’s why I don’t like him, just an observation. Plus during the Young Stars game last year he hung out by his goal at the other end of the net, not even pretending to play otherwise. Mark still complained mightily about that – “There’s always that guy” – and I think it rubbed off on me.

  5. 5 Dan October 31, 2007 at 2:28 am

    eff Sidney Crosby. I’m already tired of looking at his pretty boy ass face. Eff him. Go away. Hockey was fine before him and it will be fine after him. Its never going to be what the NHL wants it to be. Its a niche sport so quit ramming Crosby down our throat. For God’s sake, its Pittsburgh. Same shit differnt toilet when compared to Buffalo

  6. 6 Katebits October 31, 2007 at 9:32 am

    Oh, Dan. A few too many Blue Lights last night perhaps?

  7. 7 Katebits October 31, 2007 at 9:37 am

    Don’t be stoopid! Sam, it’s TOTALLY a Red Sock. “He’s a Red Sock.” Roles right off the tongue.

  8. 8 Pookie October 31, 2007 at 10:49 am

    I think I’m finally letting up a bit on Malkin. I still think he looks creepy, but in an effort to hate other things less so I can hate the Rangers more, I’m letting go and letting Malkin.

  9. 9 Meg October 31, 2007 at 10:55 am

    Their name is an adjective (or maybe it’s an adverb). Whatever it is, it’s stupid. The Wild is an annoying name for a hockey team.

    Wait, but it can be a perfectly decent noun as well. Y’know wild as in a place. Wild spaces, the great outdoors, etc. It would go with the logo, certainly.

    I also rather like the uniforms.

    That said, I don’t actually like the Wild at all. Unless Gaborik is playing in which case he’s fun to watch on the rare occasions that I’ve caught part of a game.

    I also don’t like Malkin, but I generally do like the Pens.

  10. 10 Katebits October 31, 2007 at 10:56 am

    I still think he looks creepy, but in an effort to hate other things less so I can hate the Rangers more, I’m letting go and letting Malkin.

    One should NEVER allow secondary hatreds to interfere with the One True Hatred.

  11. 11 Gambler October 31, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Addendum #1: It is a bear’s head. Who’s been saying it isn’t?

    Okay, I could just be making this up, because I can’t remember now where I heard it, but I thought it was the Wild management saying, “No, that’s just a picture of the wild, and it’s a total coincidence that it looks like a bear’s head. We didn’t mean for it to look like that at all!” For some reason that really annoyed me. I actually really like the duality of the logo, especially because the “wild” is pretty difficult to represent, but for God’s sake. Why go to all the trouble of trying to deny that it’s a bear’s head when it clearly looks like one? (But like I said, that information could be totally wrong. You would certainly know better than I do.)

    By the way, Kate, which Wild game are you going to in December?

  12. 12 Sam October 31, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    If they ever said that, I missed it completely. It’s clearly not a coincidence- the logo is meticulous, right down to the fact that the river that forms the bear’s mouth is in the vague shape of a loon, the state bird.

    Kate’s going to the Dec. 22 game against Detroit (I bought the tickets.) She has awesome seats, too…

    Aside to Meg: “On rare occasions” is exactly the right way to watch Gaborik. If you watch him every game, you find yourself screaming “Stop hanging out at the attacking blue line and PLAY SOME GODDAMNED DEFENSE!!!” far too often. He’s unquestionably a major talent, but he is infuriatingly low-energy in about 50% of the games he plays.


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