Captain November

Scene: Coach Lindy Ruff is sitting in his office with Assistant Coach (and super hottie) James Patrick.

(bubblebubblebubble.)  (Lindy Ruff takes a huge bong hit.)

Lindy:(holding smoke in) So, Jimmy.

(long exhalation, creating huge cloud)

Lindy: (lower voice) We have to choose a captain for November.

(hands bong to J.P, who takes a long rip.)

James: Oh, that’s right. Is it November already? (stares blankly off into space for a few minutes.) Who’d you have in mind?

Lindy: (giggling) We could give it to Toni. Heehehahhe.

James: HAHAHAHA! Can you imagine?! Hehehhhehehe. heheahhaha!

(five minutes of laughing ensues)

Lindy: (wiping tears from eyes) No, seriously though. I want to give it to Toni.

James: Hehehe. Really? Why?

Lindy: I want him to learn to lead. I like the kid. (Takes bong hit. Exhales.) Plus, it’ll be funny as hell.

James: (giggling) Sounds good to me. (long pause) If only Chris Drury could see us now!

Lindy: (gleefully) Ah, fuck him. This is gonna be awesome.

**********

I would once again like to declare my unbridled LOVE for the rotating captaincy. I could not possibly be more pleased with the thought of Captain Toni Lydman. Do you realize that after every game in November we are going to be treated to Toni’s weirdo assessment of the situation? A solid month of his mumbly, goofy interviews! Of all of the guys on the team, Toni Tone Tony seemed like a pretty unlikely candidate for the “C”. I mean, he had a fairly rough start, he is obviously not a natural leader, and he looks like this. I feel like Lindy Ruff has been reading The Willful Caboose, and now he is making decisions with the sole purpose of amusing me. Thanks Lindy!

(If this month goes well, I am SO pulling the trigger on a throwback Lydman jersey.)

20 Responses to “Captain November”


  1. 1 Sam October 31, 2007 at 6:20 pm

    Wait, your broadcasters interview the captain after every game? Weird. Why?

  2. 2 Katebits October 31, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Well, during the postgame they usually interview the captain. (Maybe they were just doing that because it was the beginning of the season this month.) Toni Lydman is not interviewed all that often, so this will definitely be more Toni than we normally get. They also did a bunch of cute between-period segments about the October captain, Jochen Hecht. I am really hoping we get those for Toni too.

    I just love Toni Lydman. I think he’s hilarious and sweet. I want all the Toni I can get.

  3. 3 markberm October 31, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    Kate, check out the video interview with Toni on the Sabres website. Funny stuff. Paul Hamilton kept trying to ask him these serious questions and Toni would just come back with references to body hair and being old. Never knew how funny he was!

  4. 4 Meg October 31, 2007 at 10:13 pm

    Well, during the postgame they usually interview the captain. (Maybe they were just doing that because it was the beginning of the season this month.)

    They pretty much always interviews at least one of the captains last year throughout the entire season, so I think you’re right that we’ll keep hearing from Toni. Yay!

  5. 5 Meg October 31, 2007 at 10:14 pm

    Yikes, I wish I could edit comments . . . they almost always interviewed, I meant to say.

  6. 6 Heather B. October 31, 2007 at 11:53 pm

    I actually think Toni could make a good leader – he has a very even-keeled way about him that’s probably good for the kids who still seem to be prone to overplaying when pressured. But he seems good-natured enough to still goof around with them as opposed to oh, I don’t know, let’s say banning all music from the dressing room. He’s a weird choice though considering how rough his season began. I was kind of pulling for Timmy to get one of the A’s since he’s one of the few people that showed up more often than not during October. But hey, whatever!

    (If this month goes well, I am SO pulling the trigger on a throwback Lydman jersey.)

    First of all, good for you for going throwback. What a good pupil you are! Second of all, you have to do this. I can’t wait to go to a game in matching Tallinder and Lydman jerseys. They’d have to notice us! How often do they see both their jerseys at one time?!

  7. 7 Sam November 1, 2007 at 12:22 am

    The Sabres throwback jerseys are some of my favorite in all of hockey. It’s amazing, really – you wouldn’t expect a team that came into existence in the ’70s to have a great uni design from that decade (remember the Penguins’ powder-blue road sweaters, or those awful California Golden Seals jerseys?), but Buffalo got it right. Shame about the banana slug, but they’ve got to come to their senses and make the throwback the main sweater again one of these days, right?

  8. 8 Sam November 1, 2007 at 1:45 am

    By the way, I’m totally telling your mom that you wrote a blog entry proving that you have an intimate knowledge of bong workings the next time I see her. Unless, of course, you want to reconsider all that nasty stuff you said about the Wild a couple of posts back…?

  9. 9 Katebits November 1, 2007 at 8:26 am

    Sam, I think that as soon as they have pulled every possible dollar that they can out of the buffaslug (for all our bitching, we sure have bought a lot of crap with that slug on it), they’ll switch to the throwback jerseys. I don’t actually hate the slug, I just LOVE the vintage blue.

    Everything I know about bongs I learned from books. *shifty eyes*

  10. 10 Meg November 1, 2007 at 10:35 am

    But he seems good-natured enough to still goof around with them as opposed to oh, I don’t know, let’s say banning all music from the dressing room.

    He’ll just commandeer the player and only he and Staffy will be allowed to choose the music. If the rest of the team wants to listen to anything other than death metal they have to play really well. If that doesn’t motivate them I don’t know what will.

  11. 11 Schnookie November 1, 2007 at 11:14 am

    I love how disingenuous you are here, all “Oh, I think Lindy’s reading TWC and that’s why he’s making these choices…” Suuuuuuure. Since you have been spot-on with all of the behind-the-scenes dialogs you’ve posted here, I can only assume you, Katebits, are part of the team’s management, and have been either an eyewitness or a participant in every one of the incidents you’ve shared with us.

  12. 12 Pookie November 1, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    Driving to work this morning, a car turned in front of me and I caught a glimpse of what I was sure was a Buffaslug window decal. Since I live and work in NJ this seemed really exciting to me and my immediate impulse was to *honk honk honkhonkhonk*. I somehow contained the urge which was good, since when I got a better look, it was not a Buffaslug at all. I wonder what the driver would have thought if I had honked like that at 9 am in the middle of this urban area in NJ where there’s little to no sports culture at all?

  13. 13 Sam November 1, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    …this urban area in NJ where there’s little to no sports culture at all?

    The temptation to write something snarky about how you could take the word “sports” out of that sentence and make it even more true is almost overwhelming me…

    Sorry. Pennsylvania kid. They train us from age 2 to make fun of you Jersey girls. I’ll try to restrain myself.

  14. 14 Katebits November 1, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    I can only assume you, Katebits, are part of the team’s management, and have been either an eyewitness or a participant in every one of the incidents you’ve shared with us.

    Alright, fine. You caught me. That woman you met in Buffalo was a paid actress. I am actually Lindy Ruff.

    The temptation to write something snarky about how you could take the word “sports” out of that sentence and make it even more true is almost overwhelming me…

    This is exactly the type of classy restraint that sets the native Philadelphian apart. :P

  15. 15 Meg November 1, 2007 at 11:33 pm

    This is exactly the type of classy restraint that sets the native Philadelphian apart. :P

    Particularly the whole saying-something-snarky-by-claiming-to-refrain-from-doing-so bit, right? ;)

  16. 17 Schnookie November 2, 2007 at 12:54 am

    Sorry. Pennsylvania kid. They train us from age 2 to make fun of you Jersey girls. I’ll try to restrain myself.

    *Airily* No problem! I realize manners haven’t reached Pennsyltucky yet, so I don’t expect too much of you. :P

  17. 18 Pookie November 2, 2007 at 12:56 am

    Sam, I laughed so hard when I read your comment. Because I hate the town I work in. It’s a depressed city facing huge economic and social obstacles (the population is made up of 3 minority groups who all hate each other) so, yeah, not much culture. So your snark was truer than you know! As for the rest of NJ, well, your loss! I didn’t realize how much I loved NJ until I moved to NYC for college and found myself saying indignantly, “It’s called the Garden State for a reason, you know! It’s not all like Elizabeth!” I’d say before you start holding up all of Pennsylvania as the golden standard of all things cultural and good, I’ll remind you 99% of the state isn’t the area around Doylestown and New Hope!

  18. 19 Sam November 2, 2007 at 1:05 am

    Oh, I wouldn’t even think of claiming PA as being any sort of bastion of culture and goodness. (Doylestown’s pretty much been ruined by encroaching sprawl, so no hometown pride on my part.) I’m really far more Minnesotan than Pennsylvanian these days, anyway, and my family’s all from Minny originally, so the Flyers’ fandom is about all I’ve got left of the old place in me. (That and a seriously festering addiction to Tastykakes and Nat’s Pizza.)

    Still, there’s honestly no defense for at least 85% of Jersey. I stand by that.

  19. 20 Pookie November 2, 2007 at 10:15 am

    Still, there’s honestly no defense for at least 85% of Jersey. I stand by that.

    Oh, that 85% is all South Jersey. That might as well be another state! So, I won’t argue you there. :)


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