Scene: Coach Lindy Ruff is sitting in his office with Assistant Coach (and super hottie) James Patrick.
(bubblebubblebubble.) (Lindy Ruff takes a huge bong hit.)
Lindy:(holding smoke in) So, Jimmy.
(long exhalation, creating huge cloud)
Lindy: (lower voice) We have to choose a captain for November.
(hands bong to J.P, who takes a long rip.)
James: Oh, that’s right. Is it November already? (stares blankly off into space for a few minutes.) Who’d you have in mind?
Lindy: (giggling) We could give it to Toni. Heehehahhe.
James: HAHAHAHA! Can you imagine?! Hehehhhehehe. heheahhaha!
(five minutes of laughing ensues)
Lindy: (wiping tears from eyes) No, seriously though. I want to give it to Toni.
James: Hehehe. Really? Why?
Lindy: I want him to learn to lead. I like the kid. (Takes bong hit. Exhales.) Plus, it’ll be funny as hell.
James: (giggling) Sounds good to me. (long pause) If only Chris Drury could see us now!
Lindy: (gleefully) Ah, fuck him. This is gonna be awesome.
I would once again like to declare my unbridled LOVE for the rotating captaincy. I could not possibly be more pleased with the thought of Captain Toni Lydman. Do you realize that after every game in November we are going to be treated to Toni’s weirdo assessment of the situation? A solid month of his mumbly, goofy interviews! Of all of the guys on the team, Toni Tone Tony seemed like a pretty unlikely candidate for the “C”. I mean, he had a fairly rough start, he is obviously not a natural leader, and he looks like this. I feel like Lindy Ruff has been reading The Willful Caboose, and now he is making decisions with the sole purpose of amusing me. Thanks Lindy!
(If this month goes well, I am SO pulling the trigger on a throwback Lydman jersey.)