10 Things I Really Do Not Like About Hockey

1. I really do not like that going into overtime increases the total value of a game to three points.  This is my single biggest complaint about hockey.

2. I really do not like when the puck goes out of play.

3. I really do not like when players don’t bother wearing fake teeth.

4. I really don’t like it when the other team gets an empty net goal.

5. I really don’t like it when a broken stick is sitting on the ice forever, mucking up the works.

6. I really don’t like fights for no reason.

7. I really don’t like when both teams are all standing within two feet of the net, taking random whacks at the vicinity of the puck.

8. I really don’t like the artwork on most goalie helmets.

9. I really don’t like when the players chew on their mouth guards.

10. I really don’t like it when the Sabres lose.

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10 Responses to “10 Things I Really Do Not Like About Hockey”


  1. 1 Heather B. November 28, 2007 at 12:51 am

    I really don’t like the artwork on most goalie helmets.

    I hate Crunchy’s helmet. I liked Marty’s plain white helmet better, that’s how much I hate Crunchy’s helmet. The cute little pictures on the back are fine but the rest is ug-ly.

    I really don’t like fights for no reason.

    I really don’t like when Andrew Peters skates around and and around and around in circles for twenty minutes before throwing a punch. Dude, get it over with so we can get back to the hockey please.

    Actually, I really don’t like Andrew Peters taking up space on my hockey team.

    I really don’t like when the players chew on their mouth guards.

    I actually do like that. I think it’s cute, and I’d probably do it too.

  2. 2 Schnookie November 28, 2007 at 1:46 am

    Ugh! I hate the mouthguard chewing so much, too! I suppose my biggest problem with it, though, is that it’s always accompanied by a vacant expression. If players could manage to look intelligent and just pensive when they were chewing on their mouthguards, maybe it wouldn’t suck so much. (Oh, and the lack of fake teeth? AWFUL!)

    I like Crunchy’s mask, but I think I’ve just been beaten into submission by so many uglier masks. I think I just happen to like his comparatively.

    This is a great series of likes/hates, Katebits!

  3. 3 Dan November 28, 2007 at 2:37 am

    I don’t like that Kate didn’t come out for my birthday celebration.

  4. 4 Amy November 28, 2007 at 8:20 am

    I really do not like when players don’t bother wearing fake teeth.

    If they’re not wearing their fake teeth off the ice, its one thing (since that’s just nasty).But if they’re not wearing them on the ice, I’m okay with that. Why risk ruining perfectly good expensive dental work?

  5. 5 Katebits November 28, 2007 at 9:48 am

    Dan, I TOLD you! I’m in lockdown! You didn’t give me enough warning! Sigh. I’m a terrible person. *runs crying out of room*

    Amy, theoretically I agree with you, but on the other hand, these guys are making tons of money, and their lack of teeth is a major turn off for me. Part of the reason I enjoy hockey is to watch the handsome brutes skate around. When they have no teeth I find that I can not enjoy this aspect of their performance. So, I think they owe it to me, a loyal fan, to risk damage to their expensive dental work. They can afford to get it fixed. One thing I will say is that the Sabres are extremely good about wearing their teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them without proper teeth. Yet another reason why the Sabres rock!

  6. 6 Gambler November 28, 2007 at 10:02 am

    I really don’t like the artwork on most goalie helmets.

    Oh my God, the other night I spent literally half the game trying to figure out what the hell Thibault has painted on his mask. And I still don’t know! What is it? I can see the sabres on the sides that come down around his chin, but the rest just looks like random blotches of blue and gold to me. Whatever it is I’m pretty sure it’s ugly. I do like Crunchy’s though.

    I really do not like when players don’t bother wearing fake teeth.

    I’m with you there. During the last Montreal game they interviewed some Hab on the bench, and all I could see was the big gaping hole in his bottom teeth. It disturbed me. Thank God so many of the Sabres are vain and I don’t have to look at teeth gaps on a regular basis.

  7. 7 markberm November 28, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    I don’t hate that the winning team in overtime/shootout gets an extra point since they deserve too. They really should go back to the losing team getting nothing and the winning team getting two.

    And I hate the mouthguard chewing since Drury seemed to start it here.

  8. 8 Meg November 28, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    One thing I will say is that the Sabres are extremely good about wearing their teeth. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them without proper teeth. Yet another reason why the Sabres rock!

    That is an excellent reason the Sabres rock. I couldn’t even tell you which Sabres are missing teeth and which aren’t. I feel that this is a very good thing.

  9. 9 Pookie November 28, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    The worst thing about the mouthguard chewing is that I’m noticing an epidemic of guys dropping them while chewing. It started with Jordan Staal. He was vacantly staring into space, chewing away, and then plop! It was in his lap. Then the same thing happened to my beloved Zach Parise. Then I saw Larry Robinson bend over after a game to pick something up off the floor and then handed it to Patty Elias — that’s right, his mouthguard. I’m sure Patty just popped it right back into his mouth! It reminds me of when my friend and I went on a school trip to Manhattan in 10th grade and she dropped her retainer on the floor of Penn Station and then, after only rinsing it under the sink in the bathroom, put it right back in her mouth! I still get the willies from it. Of course, Jordan Staal probably wouldn’t have thought to rise it off first…

  10. 10 Pookie November 28, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    Of course, Jordan Staal probably wouldn’t have thought to rise it off first…

    Or even rinse it off first. That Jordan Staal, so stupid!


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