Life is Cruel

Dear Inner Child Katebits,

How are you doing little buddy? I bet you’ve been enjoying all this hockey we’ve been watching! I know I’ve been making you practice the viola a lot lately, and I’m sorry about that, but I’ve also been letting you eat a lot of candy, so hopefully that has evened things out a bit.

Listen, stop jumping around for a minute. Sit down. We need to talk.

You know that concert at the BPO we’ve been looking forward too? The one with the Sabres and Ronan Tynan? Yeah, the concert which Ryan Miller and Drew Stafford will attend and perform on stage with the Buffalo Philharmonic? I’ve got some bad news for you, little one. You’re not going to like this one bit.

We don’t get to play that concert.

Shhhh. Shhh. There, there. Go ahead, have a good cry.

It seems that Ronan Tynan only needs three violas for his show, and sadly, there are seven violists in the BPO. Today, they drew names out of a hat, and in a cruel twist of fate, “Katebits” was not one of the names that they chose to play the concert. It’s horribly unfair. Of all of the people in the Buffalo Philharmonic, surely we are the ones with the greatest interest in playing this concert. A lot of those other people at work don’t even CARE about the Sabres.

I can’t believe this is happening. Drew Stafford and Ryan Miller are going to be wandering around backstage at work (most likely wearing tuxedos), and we won’t be there. It’s horrible.

And since you’re already upset, Inner Child Katebits, there is something else I need to tell you. I might as well just give you all the bad news at once…..I really don’t know how to tell you this, but…..you know that outdoor game we talked about awhile ago? The one on New Years Day?

We don’t have tickets.

I tried to get them! They just sold out so fast.

I know. Christmas is ruined. So is New Years. Our hopes and dreams are dashed. We’ll probably never have fun again.

Sigh.

Love,

Adult Katebits

Please don’t look at me like that, Inner Child Katebits. You’re breaking my heart.

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24 Responses to “Life is Cruel”


  1. 1 Schnookie November 28, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    WHAT THE HELL? How did the planets get so misaligned? How does something like this HAPPEN? I am OUTRAGED. To whom should I be addressing my angry letters? The other violists? The BPO? Ronan Tynan? Who’s in charge? THIS MUST BE REMEDIED!

  2. 2 Schnookie November 28, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    (Oh, and that picture is adorable. But you knew that.)

  3. 3 Katebits November 28, 2007 at 9:42 pm

    Thank you for your outrage, Schnookie. I don’t know WHO you should complain to. I’m thinking Darcy Regier. Or maybe Crunchy.

    I’ve always liked this picture and it sort of perfectly encapsulates the pathetic disappointment I am feeling about this whole situation.

  4. 4 elise November 28, 2007 at 10:42 pm

    KATE!!!!!!!!!!! this CANNOT be happening! i take FULL responsibility, as i only visualized you on stage with the cutie, skilled Sabres 10 or 12 times. i should have envisioned you all at least 50 times a day!!! sometimes it takes WORK to make dreams happen. but they do happen. i shall make good mental work of more positive visualizations…you never know?

    perhaps you can meet up with them after?

  5. 5 Janz November 28, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    Kate, though you were not chosen to play the concert, as a member of the orchestra I am sure you can hang out backstage for the whole performance. That might even be more fun than playing the silly concert.
    At any rate, your inner child has moved me. Though I wish I could take away your pain, I am unable to get you tickets for the Ice Bowl. However, as one of the chosen violists, maybe we can work something out for the concert on the 30th. Have your inner child give me a call some time, we’ll talk about it over milk and cookies.

  6. 6 Jonathan November 28, 2007 at 11:53 pm

    Kate, you know you give the word, and several viola players suffer some “accidents”. Anything to get you near Crunchy and Stafford.

    Plus I live nearby. So i can respond in minutes.

  7. 7 Amy November 29, 2007 at 8:29 am

    Kate, the concert situation both sucks and blows. Hopefully, you’ll still get to meet Staffy and Crunchy. I’m crossing my fingers and toes for you on that account.

  8. 8 Christina November 29, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Kate, you totally need to stage a classic “switch-a-roo” the night of the concert. You need to show up fully dressed, and with duct tape. Ask to speak to Violists 1, 2 or 3– preferably the smallest one– alone for a moment. The rest will come to you as it happens. Just be prepared to take the stage pronto… Get in touch with your inner Lucille Ball to pull this one off. You can do it.

  9. 9 Christina November 29, 2007 at 9:05 am

    PS – I think I had those same choo choo engineer overalls when I was wee little too.

  10. 10 Katebits November 29, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Kate, you know you give the word, and several viola players suffer some “accidents”. Anything to get you near Crunchy and Stafford.

    Heh.

  11. 11 Pookie November 29, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    Even though I had already heard this news and was prepared for it, reading this post has made me cry! This is so UNFAIR! I mean, there’s just no other word for it! It just… unfair. I want to stomp the world on your behalf. For whatever that’s worth.

  12. 12 Mags November 29, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    OH NO! Can’t we petition to have you included?! This is a travesty!

    I think I’m actually going to cry…

    (Dudette, I swear I had the same Oshkosh overalls when I was a kid.)

  13. 13 Sherry November 29, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    Katebits, I am OUTRAGED. Give me a couple of hours and I can send some compromising photoshopped photos your way to fix this injustice.

  14. 14 alix November 29, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    Oh my gosh! This is such a terrible injustice! Don’t they know who you are?!?!?! We must start a smear campaign ASAP.

  15. 15 blitzen November 29, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    In Canada we would write a sternly worded letter to someone. Where do I send it? This is an outrage!

    (I also think some of the previous posters had some great ideas for you. We’ll distract everyone while you put your evil plan into action.)

  16. 16 Katebits November 29, 2007 at 5:45 pm

    Wow, thanks for the outpouring of support, guys! I am considering all of my options and I will definitely let you know if I need you to break arms, photoshop incriminating evidence, duct tape someone for me, or draft a sternly written letter.

    I will keep you abreast of any change of status. As you can see, I am not afraid to use photos from thirty years ago in order to play up my pathetic-ness. Surely someone in a position of power will take mercy if I am unrelenting in my whining, right? :P

  17. 17 Schnookie November 29, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    Surely someone in a position of power will take mercy if I am unrelenting in my whining, right?

    While I have yet to make anything good happen as a result of unrelenting whining, I’m still convinced that, if properly harnessed, the power of whining can accomplish great deeds. And if hanging with Staffy and Crunchy and going to the Ice Bowl aren’t truly Great Deeds, I don’t know what is. Whine away! We can make this happen!

  18. 18 Pensgirl November 29, 2007 at 8:35 pm

    Kate, that’s horrible.

    If I was in charge, I would have said “Kate gets to play since she is most excited about the Sabres. We’ll draw the other two.”

    I can wallow in no-outdoor-game-ticketville with you. But the concert is the last straw. You should TOTALLY have been a no-brainer choice.

    BOOOOO.

  19. 19 Gambler November 29, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    That picture is breaking my heart! So cute and so sad. I say you just tape that photo to the winning violists’ music stands until they relent and give you their spot. There’s no way they can resist its power!

    I know everyone else has already said it, but this really is an outrage. Something must be done.

  20. 20 zot November 29, 2007 at 9:12 pm

    Nooooo, Katebits! This is awful. Maybe I should prepare some signs to promote you at the Ducks/Sabres game next week.

  21. 21 the bratchinator November 29, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    do the right thing janz…..do the right thing

  22. 22 Miriam November 30, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    I would have thought, since this is a popsy-sounding thing, that you’d draw straws to get OUT of it. In that much-more-logical world you could have volunteered, garnished points with your colleagues, AND played with mr. fancy hockeymen.

    You should get to play on the merit of this post alone.

  23. 23 Katebits November 30, 2007 at 10:44 pm

    Thank you again for all of these wonderful comments! This really has made me feel better, guys!


  1. 1 Inner Child Katebits is Pleased « The Willful Caboose Trackback on December 31, 2007 at 1:35 am

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