No Goal! (That’s my prediction for the Sabres tonight, not a reference to the 1999 SCF.)

Pregame:

Mood: resigned
Favorite Sabre: Paul Gaustad
Least Favorite Sabre: Brian Campbell
Prediction: Lazy Sabres + Sturdy Stars = train wreck
Summary of thoughts: I have never expected less from a sporting event than I expect from this game tonight. If had had to chose an animal to represent my hopes and dreams for the Sabres actually winning, I would choose an ant. I have officially adopted the IPB policy of assuming my team will never win again. I am defeated in advance. I am resigned to my fate. I barely have the emotional strength to type these words. I intend to poke my eyes out before the game starts….as a preventative measure.

After 1st Period

Mood: mildly non-suicidal
Favorite Sabre: Still Goose
Least Favorite Sabre: Andrew Peters, worst fighter in the world.
Prediction: The Sabres, thinking the game is over, are getting drunk in the locker room right now. Oopsies! Still two periods to play, fellas! The good new is, we’re about to see Soupy at his finest. (He does his best spin-o-ramas when he’s wasted on champagne.)
Summary of thoughts: I don’t want to hate Kevin Sylvester, so Rick needs to come back ASAP. I like the Dallas uniforms. I have not inherited the Buffalo hatred of the Stars. I should have some residual hatred for them from when they were the Minnesota North Stars, but I just can’t say I care. Recent history has taught me that the worst thing I can do is trust the Sabres not to suck. I am unrelenting in my pessimism.

After 2nd Period

Mood: tense, slightly confused.
Favorite Sabre: Toni Lydman. (Goose lost some points for trying to get at the Dallas Ice Girls by opening that little door on the rink. Come on, Goose. Try to keep your feathers to yourself, at least during the game.)
Least Favorite Sabre: Brian Campbell is back, and he’s better than ever! And by that, I mean he’s worse than ever!
Animal representative of my hopes for this game: Hamster. An angry one.
Prediction: Total annihilation. For someone.
Summary of thoughts: Well, the Sabres have just played two whole periods of hockey at full speed. There is no way this can continue. I hate hockey. I hate it so much. Sigh.

At the End

Mood: Joyful! (for now) We seriously needed this.
Favorite Sabre: Jochen Hecht with the foxy save in the waning seconds of the game! Nice one, Yo-Yo!
Dead to me: Brian Campbell, and also all soups, stews, and bisques.
Prediction: Thanks to the All Star break we can’t lose for, like, 5 DAYS! WhoooOOOOooOOOOO!
Summary of thoughts: It was really nice to see them work hard and win a tight game. Good work, boys .
Totally unrelated: During the game, I decided to sell out to Versus. They emailed me (along with all hockey bloggers) and offered me a free magnetic playoff tracker (whatever that is) if I promote the All-Star game. I, of course, decided that of all the things in the world, a magnetic playoff tracker (whatever that is) is probably the thing I want the most. So go click the banner, and watch the All-Star game. Do it for me.

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31 Responses to “No Goal! (That’s my prediction for the Sabres tonight, not a reference to the 1999 SCF.)”


  1. 1 Matt January 24, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    Welcome to Buffalo Fandom, Katebits. Here’s your commemorative scarf and touque.

    **hands over a nicely wrapped present with silver, blue and gold ribbon**

  2. 2 Katebits January 24, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    Hey, thanks Matt. *throws scarf and touque dramatically into fireplace*

    Juuuuust kidding. I’ll wear my gear proudly. (Well, not proudly, but I’ll wear it.)

  3. 3 Pookie January 24, 2008 at 9:43 pm

    I would choose an ant.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Schnookie and I have the same New Yorker cartoon hanging over our desks at work. It’s a business man looking down at a snail who’s telling him, “I’m your spirit animal.”

    Anyway, I’m glad to see the IPB Zone of Negativity gaining ground. I’m telling you, it may be obnoxious to read/hear, but it works! It really works! You’ll be happier with the Sabres in no time!

  4. 4 Katebits January 24, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    You’ll be happier with the Sabres in no time!

    I find that hard to believe. Happy? With the Sabres? The Buffalo, Sabres? :P

  5. 5 Zach January 24, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    Can we trade Soupy yet. That was just way too soft on that goal

  6. 6 Katebits January 24, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Soupy is traded, fired, tarred and feathered.

  7. 7 Pookie January 24, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Congrats on the win! And excellent post! This is a great format for game posts; you should totally do it again.

    Also, bring on the swag!!!

  8. 8 Glenn January 24, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    OMG….they won….I’m in a state of stupefied joy with my mouth agape…

  9. 9 Anne January 24, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    OMG. I already love Yo-yo for his steady play, quiet demeanor and his adorable lisp not to mention the spearmint green mouth guard but that save just took me over the edge. woooo!!!!

  10. 10 Katebits January 24, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    I know, Anne! It’s like he was trying to woo us!

  11. 11 Meg January 24, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    This post is great, Kate!

  12. 12 Meg January 24, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    Whoooo . . . great post, Kate!

  13. 13 SamNOTfrom MN January 25, 2008 at 12:24 am

    Yo-yo is brilliant. The save was a thing of beauty. Though his interview was… interesting.

    I hate Soupy. He has surpassed Thomas (I need to watch the Mighty Ducks movie to learn how to TAKE A PASS) Vanek as my most-hated Sabre. WHy did they bother talking to him after the game?

    It’s nice to see Roy doing what he used to do, getting to the net and making things happen.

    Vanek made me cry with that botched receipt of the pass, but made me slightly happier with the nice moves on the 2nd Sabres goal. That was just some sweet passing. (And I guess he finally figured out that since he can’t seem to hit the net when he shoots, it’d be better to pass)

    The Sabres were more physical tonight, faster on their feet, Miller was on, Lyudman blocked about 9 shots and it was a good game.

    They just need to stay out of the box. Was there soemthing exciting in there? They seemed to want to hang out there quite a bit tonight.

    I love it when Miller and the rest of the Sabres all play well on the same night. Isn’t that great?

    ANd yes, Andrew Peters may well be the worst fighter ever. He’s really quite pathetic. I’ve known this since his Rochester days. Hated him them, still mosty hate him (as a “fighter” anyway, I think he might actually be a decent person) Unlike the rest of the former Amerks, he did not leave my icky list upon promotion to the Sabres. He just can’t fight worth a darn. I don’t know why he tries. Though the dude he was against tonight didn’t seem much better. *yawn*

  14. 14 Patty (in Dallas) January 25, 2008 at 12:55 am

    Great format for a diary! And hilarious! And *cries*.

  15. 15 Heather B. January 25, 2008 at 6:21 am

    First of all, you were TOTALLY RIGHT about the NO GOAL! Nicely done!

    Second of all, I really like the shifting favorite/least favorite Sabre. That’s awesome and it really does capture the up and down changes in a game.

  16. 16 Matt January 25, 2008 at 7:33 am

    That’s awesome and it really does capture the up and down changes in a game.

    You really captured the spirit of the thing. Nice article, Dicky Dunne.

  17. 17 Glenn January 25, 2008 at 8:17 am

    I think it may be time for Captain Roy….thoughts anyone?

  18. 18 Amy January 25, 2008 at 8:43 am

    Dead to me: Brian Campbell, and also all soups, stews, and bisques.

    :^:::::::::

    Are chowders dead to you as well?

  19. 19 Katebits January 25, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Great format for a diary! And hilarious! And *cries*.

    Ahh, there, there, Patty….don’t cry. Shhhshhhh. You still have you winning record and your nearly guaranteed trip to the playoffs!

    Thanks everyone! I’m really glad you liked this post. I’ve been looking for a way to do a “live blog” which doesn’t necessitate having to report on the game action. I’ll definitely do this again. (This game was kind of easy because of my comically low expectations. We’ll see if the format holds up when I’m less depressed.)

    Hmm. Captain Roy-Z? I vote HELL no! He’s been playing really well, but he’s still a little beeotch.

  20. 20 kathee January 25, 2008 at 9:20 am

    YAY Kate! From now on, all we have to do is predict a loss for the Sabres, and we should be alright. If we EXPECT them to lose, and they surprise us with a win, we can all be happy. If they lose, we can still say, “Told ya!”

  21. 21 Pookie January 25, 2008 at 9:33 am

    If we EXPECT them to lose, and they surprise us with a win, we can all be happy. If they lose, we can still say, “Told ya!”

    EXACTLY! I was frankly shocked to discover that not all fans already take this approach! I mean, it’s just so imminently reasonable.

  22. 22 Caitlin January 25, 2008 at 10:09 am

    Katebits, you are awesome.

    Also, I now really love Jochen Hecht (as long as he’s not playing us).

    Thanks everyone! I’m really glad you liked this post. I’ve been looking for a way to do a “live blog” which doesn’t necessitate having to report on the game action.

    Oh, word. I was so mad at the Stars last night because they sucked and liveblogging makes my fingers and arms hurt. I wore myself out for nothing, Stars! Nothing!

  23. 23 jonhoepfinger January 25, 2008 at 10:26 am

    Hey Stars fans, only a few more months till the annual Marty Turco flame out in the playoffs!

    Sorry angry Sabre fan jealous at the Stars success.

  24. 24 ToonTom January 25, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Katebits:

    Love your intermission expectations. Reminded me of this classic Letterman Top Ten:

    =============================================================
    Top Ten Things Buffalo Bills Coach Marv Levy Said At Halftime
    =============================================================

    10. “We won! Wooo! We’re Super Bowl champs!”
    9. “Boy, I’m sleepy. You guys sleepy?”
    8. “We’ve got a long trip home after the game, so I don’t want anyone wearing themselves out”
    7. “Now get out there and rest on your laurels!”
    6. “Hey, Kelly. Leave some champagne for everyone else!”
    5. “What do you mean there’s two more quarters?”
    4. “Let’s plan exactly how you’re gonna dump the Gatorade on me”
    3. “Okay, boys — get out there and start sucking!”
    2. “Wait a minute, if we win, we have to go to Disneyland”
    1. “Hey fellas, more fudge?”

    BTW, I’ve started a petition. Please visit this link and sign it if you agree.

    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/firelarryquinn/

  25. 25 Caitlin January 25, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Hey Stars fans, only a few more months till the annual Marty Turco flame out in the playoffs!

    Sorry angry Sabre fan jealous at the Stars success.

    I think Vancouver would disagree with you, as Turco was solid last year and posted three shutouts in the series. :D

    That being said, Stars fans are very frustrated people these days and say the exact same thing you do. A lot of people have dubbed Turco “Choke-o”.

  26. 26 Patty (in Dallas) January 25, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    If we EXPECT them to lose, and they surprise us with a win, we can all be happy. If they lose, we can still say, “Told ya!”

    This is actually my philosophy on life, not just hockey.

  27. 27 Schnookie January 25, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    This is actually my philosophy on life, not just hockey.

    You are a very wise woman, Patty. :D

  28. 28 Patty (in Dallas) January 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    You are a very wise woman, Patty. :D

    Thanks. Passed down from my father. “Always expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed.”

  29. 29 alix January 25, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    I think Vancouver would disagree with you, as Turco was solid last year and posted three shutouts in the series. :D

    AHHHH! Don’t remind me. Bad, bad memories. Oh well, thank god for Trev Linden.

    Yay Sabres! Good job. And I wish I had thought of this idea for game summaries! It’s awesome! Katebits rocks!

  30. 30 danielleia January 25, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    Ooohhhh Katebits. Don’t you see? Goose was actually trying to HURT the icegirls. He obviously knows he is your favorite Sabre and is just showing his love for you.

    P.S… I’m so proud of your blogtastic blog! 30 comments and growing! yey!

  31. 31 Heather B. January 25, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    Hey, what happened to Yellow 19? I was gonna comment on him!


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