Pregame
Mood: Worried.
Favorite Sabre: I am highly concerned about Brian Campbell’s willingness to seriously participate in this game. In order to encourage at least one more night of his loyalty to the slug, I am naming him my current Favorite Sabre. That’s right, Soupy. We are nothing without you. Nothing.
Least Favorite Sabre: Ales Kotalik. I don’t even mean this. I totally like Ales. That was a heartbreaking mistake against the Rangers. I’m all nervous tonight. I’m saying and doing things I don’t mean.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: One small felt owl
Prediction: I don’t have a good feeling about this one. I’m sorry, but as delightful as their run has been, Philly is just not going to lose forever. They might suck, but even the suckiest Suckersons win one occasionally. I think the atmosphere at the arena is going to be weird. Everyone is all confused about who is who, and which team who plays for. Plus, the game is on Versus. Ew.
After the 1st (3-2, Sabres)
Mood: 1.Happy 2. Joyful 3. Elated 4. Annoyed 5.Suicidal
Favorite Sabre: Myself. I’m not sure you guys realize how much impact I have on the play of Derek Roy. Derek Roy is on my fantasy hockey team, The Fancy Bits. On the evening he returned to the Sabres lineup after his shoulder injury, I forgot to take him off of the F-Bit bench. He went on to score, like 45 goals that night. Wonderful for the Sabres, frustrating for the F-Bits. Every since then, I have kept Roy-Z on the bench, only playing him he is literally my only center playing a game. So, basically, my fine F-Bit managing skillz are directly responsible for Roy-Z’s fine play of late. You’re welcome.
Least Favorite Sabre: Danny Briere. I’m sorry to report that Danny seems to be playing for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Whaaa? When did THAT happen? Danny Briere is, like, the worst Sabre ever!
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Large metal owl
My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.
Prediction: I dare not say a word.
After the 2nd (3-2, Sabres)
Mood: This game feels angry and pissy and no fun.
Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I hate them all.
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I love them all.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Scary owl
Ahem. Consider this a responsible opposing viewpoint:
Mood: resigned
Favorite Flyer: Peter Forsberg. Oh, wait. He just signed with the Avs. Fuck.
Least Favorite Flyer: Daniel Briere. Yeah, I know the own goal in loss #10 wasn’t really his fault. Whatever. I’m beyond caring. Fuck him.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: dung beetle
Prediction: 9-0 Buffalo. Fuck this fucking game.
I’m glad to see this format back, I was just thinking how I enjoy it.
At this moment its 2-0 Sabres, its like Grizz knew we all kind of hated him for coming out strong and then kind of giving up. Oh, but then he fell over when he could’ve had a really strong break.
I totally love mid-game interviews. Roysie’s like, uhhhh I’m in the middle of a shift.
Hee. Aww, poor Sammy!
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Yes, by all means, let’s just let anyone in blue Pommerdoodle their way up the ice and glide right up to our goal without so much as a bump from a defenseman. That’s just perfect. And no, Carter’s follow-up goal doesn’t mean a thing. It only happened so that Ryan Miller’s stats wouldn’t look as good for my fantasy team.
Hockey God hates me.
Not so fast, Crotchety one. Not so fast.
I’m telling you, Katebits, it won’t matter! A one-goal deficit looks like Mount Everest from where I’m sitting. Have you noticed, by the way, that the Wild managed to blow a 6-point division lead in only seven days this past weekend?
In other words: this is clearly not about the Flyers, or the Sabres, or the Wild. This is about me, Sam the Ultimate Sports Jinx. ’87 Flyers choke against Edmonton? I’d just become a fan. ’93 Phillies? My fault. ’97 Flyers swept by Detroit? Me again. Wild go on an historic playoff run to the conference finals in ’03, then inexplicably fold like a pup tent against a decidedly inferior Anaheim team? That had my fingerprints all over it.
I suck at this.
Sam, maybe you should look into better quality teams. May I suggest the Devils?
My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.
:^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
*gasp* :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh, Samantha. You are in a dark place. It’s not your fault that the Flyers suck! (The Wild might be you. It’s too soon to tell. I need more evidence.)
Ryan Miller was just referred to as a “big bodied goaltender”. I’m not sure which Ryan Miller he was talking about, but it ain’t any Ryan Miller I know and love.
Clearly that guy doesn’t read your blog and take note of the spindly legs.
Sam, maybe you should look into better quality teams. May I suggest the Devils?
You are treading on some very dangerous ground here, Pookie. Don’t make me come over there…
You are treading on some very dangerous ground here, Pookie. Don’t make me come over there…
See, I can taunt you all I want because I know you’d come after me but then screech to a halt the minute you get to the NJ border. You’d shake your fist at the “Welcome To The Garden State” sign and shout at the heavens, “You may have won this time, Pookie, but I’ll get you someday!”
I’ll have you know that I spent my entire childhood walking across the Lambertville bridge from New Hope. I know every nook and cranny of Central Jersey. You can’t hide from me…
(Or, more accurately, you wouldn’t be able to hide from me after I made the 22-hour drive from Minny, which admittedly, I am unlikely to do…)
“Have you noticed, by the way, that the Wild managed to blow a 6-point division lead in only seven days this past weekend?”
Hehehehe. The Canucks thank you for that one.
I’m digging your owls, Katebits. Stellar. Go Sabres!
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I’m surrounded.
The ‘Nucks have nothing to do with this. You have exactly one scoring line (I know, I know, one more than Minny has, blah blah blah,) and your toothy cyborg goalie has been looking decidedly human of late. The Northwest is Calgary’s to lose at this point, and we all know it…
(Okay, Colorado doesn’t know it yet, I guess. But they will.)
Meh. Calgary`s only 2 points ahead of us. And I guess you missed Luongo this week because he`s been insane. Especially against Nashville. Anyways, I`ll stop taking over Katebits blog with NW talk. Go Goose!
I’ll have you know that I spent my entire childhood walking across the Lambertville bridge from New Hope.
That’s where we’ll stage our dramatic show-down. On the rickety wooden sidewalk area on the side of that bridge, tumbleweeds blowing down the towpath, the streets emptying as all the weekend daytrippers run scared, Mother’s cheesecakes being dropped in shock at the palpable tension. It’s so cinematic! Then I’ll whip out the record books that show the Devils have won three Stanely Cups to the Flyers’ two and you’ll sag in defeat, broken. Wait, this is making me sad. Can’t we just be friends? We could head down to that awesome Mexican place in New Hope, down the street from Mother’s and toast each other over some beer and guacamole?
Pookie, I’ll have you know that you just made my mother laugh very hard. (She just moved in downstairs from me after 20 years in PA, and is up at my place watching the game in HD. And don’t worry, she’s not a Flyers fan – hates everything about Philly and always has. She was a Bruins fan back in the Bobby Orr/Don Cherry days.)
I’m always up for Mexican in New Hope, or if you really wanted to come to my comfort zone, I could treat you to an Italian Ice at Nat’s Pizza in Doylestown. And that’s where I’d haul out the portfolio of photos of the vibrant city life of Philadelphia, and contrast with a set of dirty polaroids of Newark. I might even throw in an in-depth topographical thesis on just how Secaucus came to be a borough of New York City, thus depriving New Jersey of two of its professional sports teams.
That’s sounds delightful, Sam! After your topographical thesis, I’ll treat you to an informal lecture on what it was like to be in the building to see the Devils win their third Cup. Did I mention they have three Cups? After the lecture we could traipse over to the Mercer Museum to laugh at the obsolete antiquities like the vampire killing kit, the rotary telephone, and the medical tomes the Flyers training staff uses!
(And tell your mother she’s got good taste to not like the Flyers! I hope she finds life in MN to her liking!)
Well. That was poetic, at least.
They’ll lose 6 of their next 7, most likely. And the Wild will make no trades before tomorrow’s deadline. And my lifetime record of never having a major league team in the city I live in will remain perfect.
(but, um, y’know. woo hoo. and whatnot.)
I am so sorry about that game, Katebits. So sorry.
Soupy killed that owl!
Sammy, I’ll have you know that I can take a teeny tiny itty-bitty tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny extremely small TINY drop of comfort in the fact that you are happy because of this game. That’s how much I love you. (And by that, I mean I love you a lot because any amount of comfort after that game is a miracle.)
Well, in exchange, I’ll have you know that I’m actually not any happier for the fact that they won this game. Because a shootout win is not a win, and doesn’t indicate that your team deserved to win, as the Wild fouund out this past week after having coasted through February on shootout wins alone.
I am, however, quite happy with the fact that the Flyers just traded for Vinny Prospal. Knowing the Wild’s management style, I assume I’ll be hearing shortly that they’ve acquired Brian Campbell. Can’t. wait. (grits teeth in frustration)
Where can I get one of those little felt owls?
p.s. sorry about the Sabres…i’ve felt your pain…
Elise, I just stole that picture off the intertubes. I don’t know where they are available for purchase. They are pretty cute though, no? I’m sorry I haven’t sent you my address yet.
Sam, I have to admit, I REALLY want Soupy to end up on a team where I can MERCILESSLY make fun of one of my friends about him. You seem like a good candidate. The Wild like soft, defensively irresponsible defensemen, right? :D
Why, yes, yes we do! That’s exactly who we like! Have you met Marty Skoula? Last seen causing synaptic seizures all across the upper deck of the Xcel Energy Center? That Marty Skoula?
Yeah. We love him. We’d like another of those, please. Would you like six or seven draft picks for him, or just Marian Gaborik?
(Our local beat writer is saying that the Prospal trade notwithstanding, asking prices for impact players are screaming high across the board. We may not see a lot of action tomorrow…)
That second period owl is freaking me out.
I will admit to joining in the booing of Briere tonight. It felt strangely therapeutic.
Would you like six or seven draft picks for him, or just Marian Gaborik?
We’ll take the picks, please.
Ouch, Amy. I forgot you were going tonight! My condolences.
To liven your mood, your next Sabres game will be a glorious 50 inch HD picture!!!!
We’ll take the picks, please.
Actually, no, trust me, you want Gabby. I know he’s made of highly breakable porcelain and all, but seriously, if you discount injury time, he’s top 5 in the league in scoring per game every year. And your coach doesn’t bitch about superstar forwards not playing defense, so, yeah, you want him. Fuck the picks. Weak draft this year, anyway.
On another note, I just realized that I screwed up ten comments back – that one line should have read “And my lifetime record of never having a major league team in the city I live in win a championship will remain perfect.”
The “My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.” and the “Danny Briere. I’m sorry to report that Danny seems to be playing for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Whaaa? When did THAT happen? Danny Briere is, like, the worst Sabre ever!” parts literally made me LOL.
Thanks for your blog making me laugh after being depressed about the loss and Soupy having a 99.9999999% chance of being gone tomorrow.
Thanks for your blog making me laugh after being depressed about the loss and Soupy having a 99.9999999% chance of being gone tomorrow.
Thank you for reading, Destiny. Last night was….tough. It means a lot to me that people would want to read this blog after a game like that.