Playoff Scenarios

Last night during the second intermission, Kevin Sylvester presented a variety of scenarios in which the Sabres could make the playoffs. All of the scenarios involved the Sabres winning the rest of the games, and some other hapless team ahead of us losing all their remaining games, but there were a few ridiculously complicated situations that were along the lines of, “IF the Capitals lose all their games, but the Hurricanes win all THEIR games EXCEPT the game they play against the Thrashers, AND on April 3rd a computer glitch causes an early closing of the stock markets, which in turn caused panic in the streets of New York which necessitates a delay of game during the final Devils/Rangers game which kills the Rangers momentum, and propels the Devils to a come from behind win, AND on that same day, Tim Thomas and Alex Auld are arrested for holding up a Dunkin Donuts, and Chara is forced to play goal for the Bruins’ final game, AND Ryan Miller plays like a God, AND Sabretooth hobbles Mats Sundin while rapelling from the ceiling…..then the Sabres will squeak into the playoffs.”

I’m surprisingly amused that the Sabres are still mathematically in the playoff hunt. I hope they can stay in it until the bloody end. Obviously I hope they make the playoffs, which is why I’m wearing a necklace of garlic, and howling to the moon on alternate evenings. (According to Kevin Sylvester, warding off vampires and werewolves is key if the Sabres have any hope of making the playoffs. I’m just trying to do my part to help the cause.)

Go Sabres!

26 Responses to “Playoff Scenarios”


  1. 1 mcguffers March 31, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    Remember all those times in December and January when the Sabres would lose a close game and Mike Robitaille and Rob Ray would say how they’d be wishing for those points at the end of the season? Talk about foreshadowing. This feels like an “unscripted reality” show on MTV.

  2. 2 kathee March 31, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    PFFFFFFTTTT! I hate math anyway! :P

  3. 3 jonhoepfinger April 1, 2008 at 7:10 am

    Kate don’t forget about zombies, they are key to the tiebreakers.

  4. 4 Jennfer April 1, 2008 at 8:04 am

    …. and all the planets must align and Lindy will have to hop around on 1 foot for all remaining games, while Jeep pats his head and rubs his belly.

  5. 5 Anne April 1, 2008 at 9:26 am

    I would not want to be the poor unsuspecting college intern that had to sit down and create all these “shot in the dark” scenarios.

    Although, my favorite almost unspoken scenario is this:

    There are many ways this could happen, but let’s stick with the easiest to follow:

    Let’s say, to simplify things, the Sabres and the Caps lose all their remaining games and stay with 86 and 88 points respectively.

    Then, if the Flyers and Bruins get at least 1 point more from their 3 remaining games than the Senators get in their remaining 3, the Sens won’t be in the playoffs. That would almost be enough for me. Muahahahhaha.

  6. 6 Jennfer April 1, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Anne: As much as I dislike the Flyers and Bruins, it would almost be worth it to see the Senators fall out. I like your devious way of thinking!

  7. 7 Anne April 1, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Ok I lied, the Caps would have to get in too.

  8. 8 mcguffers April 1, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    Anne, you’ve left me conflicted (in a good way). I’m trying to decide what I want more, the Sabres in the playoffs or the Senators out. Both at the same time would be awesome, but unless we can get those aforementioned zombies, aligned planets, a hopping Lindy and an armed robbery in Dunkin Donuts, I’d have a better shot at winning the Stanley cup than the Sabres.

  9. 9 Shari April 1, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Kate, when the season is over, will you still write about the Sabres or put this on hold until next season? Not only am I at my breaking point at this time of winter, but I shudder at the thought of hockey come down!

  10. 10 danielleia April 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    The Goose must honk five times and skate backwards towards the Toronto net scoring a backhanded goal at speeds faster than this crazy wind.

  11. 11 Jennfer April 1, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Shari: I agree! I’ve got to come up with another obsession by the end of this weekend. I just became a hockey fan late last season, but I got hooked pretty quick. This season, I have pretty much arranged my life so that I wouldn’t miss the knuckleheads play (for all the good it did me or them), but that is my outlet for stress & tension. I yell at the TV, the players, the coaches, etc. If I don’t find something else to do, boy my family is going to SUFFER!

    Kate: I really hope you and HeatherB keep writing during the off season. Some of the discussions have gotten pretty interesting and WAY OFF COURSE, but fun!

  12. 12 Shari April 1, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    While looking around the boards, I came across a post from a woman who was at Aces and Blades. She was talking about how friendly all the players and coaches were, esspecially James Patrick. He was asking her about her family, how old her kids were ect.. Then he asked her what she thought about this season and the team. She didn’t tell him everything she was thinking but he told her the players have been real frustrated all season over all the players they let go and the ones that were traded. Ya think? I would have love to have been in on that conversation. OH MAN! I CAN’T BELIEVE MILLER JUST LET THAT SECOND GOAL IN!!!! SSSSHIIIIIIIT!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  13. 13 Shari April 1, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    Ah, it’s ok Jennfer. There’s always next year. I like to bitch at managment. It’s so much easier!

  14. 14 Jennifer April 1, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Why can’t they put T-Bone in? It’s not like they have a hell of a lot to loose now. Miller is apparently having an off night.

    I can’t believe he let 2 in, especially the 1st one. What the heck was he doing so far out of the goal?????

  15. 15 Chaz April 1, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    mcguffers –

    “an armed robbery in Dunkin Donuts”

    I can take care of this task. Now that I’m back east where we have them, although I’ll need to find a gun… Guess I’ll have to head down to the Walmart tomorrow and gank one from a red neck. (No offense, granted once I get said shotgun, I really won’t care if I piss people off.) Thursday morning, coffee and donuts at my place. Only those wearing a Sabres jersey will be admitted.

    Oh, don’t know if I mentioned this in the other post, but I COMPLETELY feel your West Genny pain. I take comfort in the fact they finally lost after winning for 1,328,916 years in a row.

  16. 16 mcguffers April 1, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    West Genny lost?? No Way! Isn’t that one of the signs of the Apocolypse?!

  17. 17 Chaz April 1, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Oh yeah, two years in a row. ’04 and ’05. Unfortunately they won again in ’06.

    http://www.westgenesee.org/pdf/2006MarchingBandComp.pdf

    But my favorite was this year. They lost to Orchard Park. Go Buffalo!

  18. 18 mcguffers April 1, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Nice nice. I went to the Dome a couple times after I got transferred to Syracuse, but I was slightly disturbed to see that Webster is, um, not as good as when I was there.

  19. 19 Chaz April 1, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    um..yeah, neither is ESM….it HAS to be because we graduated.

    =P

  20. 20 mcguffers April 1, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    Obviously!

  21. 21 Shari April 1, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    I love you Max!!!!!! I was the only one who knew you could do it!!
    Take that all you Max haters! But…..is tonight really going to matter? No more games like tonight please.

  22. 22 Jennifer April 1, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    OMG, I thought I would have a stroke tonight. I have never witnessed such a frustrating, yet totally rewarding game in all my 1 1/2 years of being a hockey fan. I don’t know if my blood pressure can take much more of this.

    As much as I bitched about Miller missing those first 2 goals, I now think he totally redeemed himself and this is the first time that I can remember him showing actual emotional joy after a game. He usually appears to have the personality of a wet dishrag.

    And, yes Max, you are now NOT on my most hated list. You were never actually on my hated list, but you were working your way there pretty quickly.

    GO SABRES!!!!! I’m still holding out a sliver of hope that they can pull off the impossible. After all, they are the SABRES!

  23. 23 danielleia April 1, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    I loved Max, always! I think that was the BEST GAME OF THE SEASON! Beating Toronto, Shootouts, Crazy scary-ness. I loved it. That’s the way games should be. Ya gotta keep it tight to capture people’s attention.

  24. 24 Shari April 1, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    Oh, no, no Danielleia! We don’t need to keep games tight like that! My attention and heart are already captured! And what’s with the grapes Dani?? Ya Weirdo!

  25. 25 mcguffers April 1, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Tights one thing. This is suffocating. And I thought those were clover but I’m heavily medicated.

  26. 26 Danielleia April 1, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    GRAPES?! :P

    Mcguffers, you’re smart when heavily medicated! They’re four leaf clovers. They worked, yeah?


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