Enjoying The Playoffs, Step #1: Temporarily Freeing Oneself From The Tyranny Of The Sabres

I hit a low point on Sunday night. In a state of desperate disillusionment and hockey despair, I sent out a pathetic email to Patty, Heather, and the Ookies declaring that my heart was broken, I couldn’t go on, and that I would not be able to stomach the playoffs this year. All of these ladies have many years of fandom under their belts, and they all offered up very good advice and sympathy. They also all agreed that this year the playoff scene legitimately blows, and many amongst us are going to have to get creative about choosing sides. By using their expertise, along with a careful assessment of my own needs, I believe I have devised a three-day plan to ease myself out of the Sabres season, and into the (pathetically Sabre-less) playoffs.

Today’s Lesson:

Temporarily Freeing Myself From the Tyranny of the Sabres

I don’t think I can watch the playoffs without some rooting interest, and obviously my normal rooting interest is not available for rooting, so, I’m going to have to root for someone I normally root against, which is a situation I would never root for, but rooting is a weird thing, and sometimes when you can’t root where you’ve laid your roots, you have to pick up your roots and root elsewhere. Ya know?

Bottom line: I will love the Sabres above all other teams for ever and ever, Amen.

BUT.

By virtue of their suckiness, the Sabres have abandoned us, and we are now alone and adrift in a continuing hockey season without them. They have left us no choice but to look elsewhere, and to take solace in the arms playoff series of another team. One thing my 32-years on earth has taught me is that before moving forward, we must heal the wounds of the past. Today, I say goodbye (and good riddance) to the 2007-08 Buffalo Sabres.

Dear Sabres,

It is with a heavy heart that I write you this letter. Together, as team and fan, we’ve had quite a year. Well, I had quite a year, you mostly just skated around, not scoring or winning. (Okay, that’s not quite fair. You scored a ton of goals, and you won enough to keep things interesting right up until the end. That’s not nothing, I suppose.) What I’m trying to tell you is that I do not regret the season we have shared. It’s been awesome, and I can’t WAIT until next year.

But.

I’m not going to waste my summer crying over you. What’s done is done. Things were said, games were played, blog posts were written. As exciting as it’s been, your streakiness has felt, at times, downright abusive, and frankly I’m exhausted. Plus, your inability to qualify for the playoffs has created a whole host of complications in my life, not the least of which is that I now have no choice but to fret full-time about CHRIS FUCKING DRURY again. (If he wins the Cup this year I SWEAR TO GOD I will gouge my eyes out to avoid the hideous sight of it.)

I think that at this point we can all agree that a little time apart might do us some good. You go, have a great summer. I hope you make a ton of new fans. Meanwhile, I’m going to check out some other NHL teams. This isn’t how I wanted it to be, but I’m not getting any younger here. I’ve missed out on watching a lot of Stanley Cup Playoffs already. I can’t miss another year. I’m going to watch the playoffs, and I’m going to be cheering for some other team; I don’t see any point in pretending otherwise.

So, let’s just agree to go our separate ways until the playoffs are over. We all know that this separation is only temporary and at that I’ll probably find a way to freak out about the pending free agency of Dmitri Kalinin within MOMENTS of the end of the Finals, but let’s just do ourselves a favor and save the drama until then. M’kay?

Fondly (sort of),

Katebits

**********************

Stay tuned for Step #2: Facing the Reality of the Playoff Situation.

21 Responses to “Enjoying The Playoffs, Step #1: Temporarily Freeing Oneself From The Tyranny Of The Sabres”


  1. 1 CrotchetyOriginalSam April 7, 2008 at 7:57 am

    Meanwhile, I’m going to check out some other NHL teams.

    …the Minnesota Wild. That’s what you meant, right?

  2. 2 jonhoepfinger April 7, 2008 at 8:50 am

    The best part of no Sabres in the Playoffs. No stress. None of that oh god please don’t let a soft one in Miller feeling. Marc Andre Fleury lets in a crappy goal by Danny Heatley, ehhh oh well.

    Plus if the nice weather holds up you can do other things. I remember last year sitting in a bar seeing the sunshine and going that looks better then watching the Sabres and Rangers play.

    Prior to the past two years, there were no NHL playoffs for 4 YEARS, for sabre fans, you think we’d be use to it. (Yes I included the lockout)

  3. 3 Pookie April 7, 2008 at 9:47 am

    the Minnesota Wild. That’s what you meant, right?

    Sam, I’m pretty sure she meant the NJ Devils.

  4. 4 jonhoepfinger April 7, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Yikes going from the Sabres to the Wild or Devils would be a bad idea for Kate.

    Montreal would be safe.

  5. 5 Anne April 7, 2008 at 10:35 am

    We all know that this separation is only temporary and at that I’ll probably find a way to freak out about the pending free agency of Dmitri Kalinin within MOMENTS of the end of the Finals

    I don’t care who is in the Finals this season, Pittsburgh or Boston (HA! Not a chance)if there was breaking news about Sabres contracts on another channel, I would turn off Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals so fast, my TV itself would think it broke.

  6. 6 Heather B. April 7, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Maybe Kate needs a fling with a more defensive team. Shake it up a little, you know?

    OriginalSam, my husband has hitched his star to the Wild’s wagon. He’s behind them all the way. I’m approaching them cautiously but optimistically. I know nothing about them but I’m willing to give them a chance.

  7. 7 Katebits April 7, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Sam, my intention is to root for the Wild, but I have to admit, that’s been my intention all season and they just haven’t grabbed me. BUT, I do love that Gaborik, and that fun State of Hockey Song, and of COURSE I can’t ignore my blood loyalties to Minnesota. (That reminds me. I’m desperate enough for sports now that I’m thinking about caring about baseball again. Are the Twins worth getting into?)

    As for my hockey playoff loyalties, I’m going to simply go where my whims takes me.

  8. 8 Lois/Mom April 7, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    I insist that you root for The Wild!

  9. 10 SlugLuva April 7, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Umm….are the Sharks still in the running? I guess I could still root for Soupy.

    I dunno ?

  10. 11 Schnookie April 7, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Was that just Mombits?

  11. 12 Glenn April 7, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    I think it’s the NJ Devils for me….I’m from New Jersey! Besides Zach Parise is HAWT!!!!!

  12. 13 danielleia April 7, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    “Montreal would be safe.”

    It would be very safe.

    Hi, “Mombits!” haha I love it.

  13. 14 CrotchetyOriginalSam April 7, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    I’m desperate enough for sports now that I’m thinking about caring about baseball again. Are the Twins worth getting into?

    No. Call ‘em the baseball equivalent of the 2007-08 Sabres. Same as last year’s team, only without two of the best players, and plus a bunch of youngsters who might be could two years from now. You don’t need that headache.

    Oh, and to Heather B: If you’re on the fence, check out Minny’s first game or two against the Avs – they should tell all of us a lot. On paper, it’s the most evenly matched first round series in either conference – same number of wins, nearly identical styles (ignore all the Av fan bitching about the Wild’s supposed trap – they have no idea what they’re talking about,) and similar questions as to whether their stars are capable of stepping up for an extended playoff run…

  14. 15 CrotchetyOriginalSam April 7, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    …who might be could two years from now…

    That should have been “might be good.” Or “could be good.” Whichever.

  15. 16 Katebits April 7, 2008 at 7:27 pm

    Oooh. Thanks for the heads up on the Twins, Sam. You’re right. I do NOT need a Sabres baseball team on my hands. But I have to watch baseball or the summer will be so boring. Hmm. Maybe a national league team…. (I could actually consider the Phillies.)

  16. 17 Amy April 7, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    there were no NHL playoffs for 4 YEARS, for sabre fans, you think we’d be use to it. (Yes I included the lockout)

    Jon, one of the things that made me laugh the hardest during the MSM’s postmortem on the Sabres was the fact that they all kept mentioning that this is the first time the Sabres missed the playoffs since the lockout. Hello, that’s only three years ago! Making the playoffs in 66% of the seasons since the lockout isn’t that bad. Some teams would kill for that.

  17. 18 Katebits April 8, 2008 at 12:27 am

    The best part of no Sabres in the Playoffs. No stress. None of that oh god please don’t let a soft one in Miller feeling.

    I kept meaning to respond to this and then forgetting. Jon, I am really starting to some around to this idea. Last year during the playoffs I was frequently nervous to the point of being dysfunctional. I’m not sorry I won’t be so insne this spring. Plus, you’re right. The weather is looking mighty fine.


  1. 1 Enjoying the Playoffs Step #2: Facing the Reality of the Playoff Situation « The Willful Caboose Trackback on April 8, 2008 at 12:01 am
  2. 2 Enjoying the Playoffs, Step #3: It’s Still Hockey, and It’s Still Being Performed By Hockey Players….It Can’t be All Bad. « The Willful Caboose Trackback on April 9, 2008 at 1:06 am
  3. 3 Playoffs! « The Willful Caboose Trackback on April 15, 2009 at 12:04 am

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