Grew up in Edmonton, my people have been farmers for millenia, and now am a bureaucrat in Ottawa (that once worked for Revenue Canada) so I get all of it. Hilarious – thanks for sharing.

I think we are definetly going to see some even deeper slumping attendance for the Amerks (assuming they even have a place to play in).

THE LAST SASKATCHEWAN PIRATE

I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
And bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
The government, the promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I’m gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!!!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at
large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor is waitin’ in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a’coming and the Mountie lost his job
And now he’s sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailin down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
(*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
Well, Pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
And you’re sure to loose your stetson if you have to pass their
way!

Well, winter is a’comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I’ll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico!

Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores…x2

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores…x2

Is this going to make people in Rochester feel less attached to the Sabres? Are you all going to be Panthers fans now?

It’s going to be incredibly strange for the News here in Rochester, they’re going to have to cover both the Sabres and Amerks as home teams.

Inexplicably, they did not win. The Eurovision song contest is my favorite tv show of the year. It’s just unbelievable, and it makes me so proud to be european.

With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey.