How I Spent My Holiday Weekend, by Katebits

Thursday: Every July 3rd, the BPO plays at the Bisons game. Baseball, a selection of patriotic symphonic tuneage, and fireworks. God Bless America! This year was kind of interesting for two reasons. One, the game went 13 innings and the BPO portion of the evening didn’t start until eleven. We are delicate flowers, the BPO. We were cold and fussy by that late hour, but we soldiered on, as did the always fantastic Bisons crowd. I always like this gig. The other reason this year at Dunn Tire Park was notable for me was this:

baseball

I caught a home run ball!

Okay “caught” is a bit of a stretch. It’s an outright lie, actually. In the eighth inning I was wandering around on the Dunn Tire Park grounds behind center field. I was coming back from the bathroom, and I was not paying one whit of attention to the game. Suddenly, a ball drops about ten feet in front of me, bounces, whizzes past my head, ricochets off a picnic table behind me, and then rolls gently to my feet. I might have let out a girlish squeal of delight. I spent a LOT of my childhood at Twins games praying that someone would hit the longest home run in history right to me in my cheap cheap cheap seats approximately ten miles away from home plate. I spent a lot of time concentrating on this dream while at baseball games as a child. The fact that a home run ball came directly to me while I was daydreaming of Lord-knows-what was a bit of a twist on the plan, but that did not detract from the “dream realized” aspect of the situation. I spent the remainder of the game gloating and showing my ball to anyone who would look.

The home run was hit by Rochester Red Wing, Matt Macri. I just now realized that the Red Wings are the triple A affiliate of the MINNESOTA TWINS. So basically, Matt Macri is my new favorite baseball player. His home run ball might as well have been a marriage proposal, because I could not possibly love him more.

Friday: On Friday morning I woke up groggy and hungover. I had a plan for the day, though. I was going to watch and live-blog the Nathan’s Famous Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. I’ve watched this event in the past and it’s filled me with soaring love and horror. It seemed like an ideal event for a live-blog. Well, I did watch it, and I did live-blog it, but during the hot dog eating contest I became SO GROSSED OUT that I couldn’t bear to publish the results. Even now, two days later, I feel a little queasy thinking about the whole thing. Just so that the live-blog (which I actually worked quite hard on) doesn’t go totally to waste, here is an excerpt from the very end of the event:

“I am currently cowering in horror, occasionally peeking up at the television, more and more traumatized with every glimpse at the carnage. Seriously. It’s so gross.

It’s neck and neck. I can’t look. I wish I was dead. It’s so terrifying.

What the FUCK?! It’s a tie! Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi have BOTH EATEN 59 HOT DOGS IN TEN MINUTES. The announcers are talking about OVERTIME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Please judges, for the love of God, make it stop!

THEY’RE GOING TO DO A FIVE DOG EAT-OFF! OH MY GOD! THIS IS DISGUSTING HISTORY IN THE MAKING! IT’S LIKE THE HINDENBURG ONLY REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE!

Oh. My. God.

Joey Chestnut won.

I want to puke.

Happy Birthday, America.

I think that pretty much conveys my thoughts and feelings about the event.

I spent the remainder of the day lolling about the apartment and trying not to think about hot dogs.

I took the evening off from work, so I found myself with a rare 4th of July away from the salt mines, and I decided that I wanted nothing to do with crowds and fireworks, so Robin and I headed out to the movies. We went to see “Kung-Fu Panda”, which incidentally is hilarious. Then, because we are ferocious BADASSES, we snuck into see “Wall-E”. That’s right, I spent my 4th of July watching cartoons. And it was awesome. “Wall-E”, is incredibly good. That little robot taught me that I want to stay fully engaged with my environment and to live each moment to the fullest.

Saturday: I slept most of the day on Saturday.

Just kidding.

I played a concert out in Ellicottville, enjoyed a rather hilarious ride home with some good company, and then sat in Dinesh’s backyard looking at a fire, eating toasted marshmallows, and drinking scotch. I don’t drink nearly enough scotch. Perhaps my way of staying fully engaged in my environment and living each moment to the fullest can involve drinking more scotch.

Sunday: I decided to watch some Wimbledon tennis. I had no idea this would wind up being an all day commitment. Tennis is one of those sports that I pay very little attention to but that I randomly and periodically enjoy.

I’m not a real tennis fan, so I really have no business commenting on its stars, but since when has “lack of qualification” stopped me from writing about sports?

Roger Federer: Cool as ice. Incredible hair. Amazingly winning. Adorable girlfriend has a zit on her chin- I love her. No unseemly grunting. Possibly unbearably aloof.

Rafael Nadal: Intolerable deployment of manpris. Seriously fancy for an underdog. Nice arms. His mad skillz on clay help to make Federer more likable (at least for me).

Sometimes it’s nice to watch sports with no real rooting interest. I was just rooting for a good match, switching my allegiances multiple times as the drama unfolded. And it was an INCREDIBLE match. Yay for tennis! This will sound incredibly cheesy, but I honestly wish both of them could have won.

(One little question, though: Don’t they have LIGHTS in London? I would have been SO pissed if the match had been stopped for the day without a result. The announcers were going on and on about how it was getting darker and darker, and I was thinking “Yo, just turn on the LIGHTS dummies!” Electricity: look into it, England.)

And that was my holiday weekend.

The End

14 Responses to “How I Spent My Holiday Weekend, by Katebits”


  1. 1 CrotchetyOriginalSam July 6, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    Just for the record, Matt Macri is a freaking great player. The only reason he’s not playing for the Twins right now is because they don’t have space for him on the roster when no one’s injured, and the players who are worse than him are out of options and can’t be sent to the minors. He was up here for 14 games earlier this year, slugged .500, hit .367, and generally looked all kinds of better than our everyday third baseman. So hang onto that ball…

  2. 2 Katebits July 6, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    Just for the record, Matt Macri is a freaking great player.

    Reeeally? How delightful! This is practically inspiring me to care bout baseball again!

  3. 3 Shari July 6, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    Hot dog eating contests……iiiiik. Someone must have been very stoned to think up that disgusting idea. Don’t they know what hot dogs are?? I did see a wonderful picture of the “Katebits spotting” over at Top Shelf. Was that before or after you caught the ball? Is it me or do baseball players look older than they really are? And why does my dog cry and make odd jerky movements in her sleep? Gee, I really hope she’s dreaming. Congrats Kate on, um, catching the ball!

  4. 4 Amanda July 6, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    I pointed out the foxy viola section to my husband. He was interested until he heard “one of the blogs I read” then he decided that both of us were crazy. Silly man.

    Great concert, Katebits! Love that John Williams!

  5. 5 CrotchetyOriginalSam July 7, 2008 at 12:44 am

    This is practically inspiring me to care bout baseball again!

    Well, yeah. And contrary to what I said when you asked about this at the beginning of the season, the Twins are suddenly really effing good, for reasons that I have yet to figure out. So it’d be a good time to jump back on board…

  6. 6 Dan (in Lake View) July 7, 2008 at 2:31 am

    I’m glad to know that I am a member of “some good company home!!!” I feel the same way. Solid group of BPO people!!!!

  7. 7 Jennifer July 7, 2008 at 7:35 am

    And why does my dog cry and make odd jerky movements in her sleep?

    I always say that my dog is chasing rabbits when she does this. She sorta wimpers/half-barks and her feet are kick a little. She’s not confirmed or denied that, but that’s my theory anyway.

  8. 8 danielleia July 7, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Oh I heard the BPO was playing. Congrats!

    I spent the remainder of the day lolling about the apartment and trying not to think about hot dogs.

    Sick. How do they do it?

  9. 9 Shari July 7, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Jennifer, I’ve always heard dogs dream about bunnys and squirrels. Maybe my dog is chasing some of those hot dogs. It ussually is the dogs that are pretty hot. Damn them!

  10. 10 reigningfrog July 7, 2008 at 10:46 am

    I didn’t know you caught a homerun ball– that’s awesome!!!

  11. 11 Pookie July 7, 2008 at 10:57 am

    That live-blog snippet was hilarious! Thanks for braving such a disgusting televised event to try to bring hilarity to us, your loyal readers. You’re an Independence Day hero, Katebits!

  12. 12 Katebits July 7, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Thanks, Pookie. I spent an absurd amount of time live-blog that most yucky of events, I’m glad it wasn’t a total waste. :D

  13. 13 jonhoepfinger July 7, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Our economy maybe in the tank, but an American is the hot dog eating winner again.

    USA! USA! USA!

  14. 14 Katebits July 7, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Jon, “USA! USA! USA!” totally made its way into my live-blog. Great minds think alike! :)


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