Tennis, and Track, and Synchronized Swimming. Oh My.

1. I want to make sure I acknowledge that Max Afinogenov’s main squeeze won a tennis gold medal in the women’s singles at the Olympics. That’s pretty cool. Elena Dementieva is clearly an alluring badass, and I like Max a little more because he dates her. It’s every professional athlete’s right to GOP out and find themselves a hottie, but Max went out and found himself a hottie who can actually do something. I appreciate that about him. Max’s girlfriend won a GOLD MEDAL at the Olympics this weekend. That rocks. She rocks. Max rocks by association.

2. Aw, man. Tonight was the first night of true Olympic heartbreak for me. I was so sad for the track ladies! Sanya Richards and then the plucky hurdler Lolo Jones, BOTH came up short despite being favorites in their events. Lolo tripping over the second to last hurdle when she was so close to a gold medal was particularly tough to witness. I can’t say I’ve ever been too enthralled with track and field events in the past, but this year I’ve really enjoyed watching the running events. I find the incredible fierceness of the track women very inspiring, which is why it was such a jolt to the system when they switched directly from track to gymnastics on the NBC broadcast. After the track ladies, the gymnasts looked like creepy little wind-up toys. (But, America can finally breath a sigh of relief. Shawn Johnson has her gold. You can stop rioting in the streets now.) Obviously, the gymnasts are world class athletes too, but their tininess combined with the glitter and the hair scrunchies just made them seem infinitely undignified when viewed in quick succession with the track events. (Farewell, bizarro gymnastics! Until 2012, I bid you adieu!)

3. This is just a friendly reminder: SET YOUR DVRS TO RECORD THE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING TOMORROW AT 6PM ON THE OXYGEN NETWORK. I watched a bit of the synchronized “duet” preliminaries today and this event is B-A-N-A-N-A-S. It is NOT to be missed. Not only is it the event totally nutso, but Robin, my current roommate, is a former competitive synchronized swimmer, so I have a live-in expert. Yeah, you heard me. Robin isn’t just a Juilliard trained bassoon player and high-powered advocate for disadvantaged children, she is also a FORMER SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER. (Don’t even ACT like you’re not impressed/intimidated by her foxy skill set.) Robin promises that the duet competition is totally lame in comparison to the team competition, which BLOWS MY MIND because the duet prelims were quite possibly the most spectacularly freakish thing I’ve ever seen.

Here’s a teaser (all photos sneakily swiped from nbcolympics.com):

Sync swimming 2

Jazz hands are just the beginning.

sync swimming 3

Look at their freaky toes! They have jazz feet!

Sync swimming 4

For some reason they all wear tranny whore make-up. I don’t know why.

Last, but CERTAINLY not least, behold the 2008 US Synchronized Swimming Team. Behold!

Sync team

*stunned silence*

17 Responses to “Tennis, and Track, and Synchronized Swimming. Oh My.”


  1. 1 Destiny August 20, 2008 at 2:20 am

    “For some reason they all wear tranny whore make-up. I don’t know why.”

    I looked at the pic and thought something similar, then I read that line and giggled.

    I was informed of a really weird Olympic event tonight and I feel like sharing, it’s called Dressage. Basically, it’s a person on horseback and the horse is like…dancing. I saw video of it. It’s pretty crazy but I gotta hand it to the trainers and to the horses for being able to pull it off.

    I wish the Olympics were every year, who knows how many sports they could make up include?

  2. 2 Amy August 20, 2008 at 8:25 am

    I am truly in awe of Robin’s skill set. Wow!

  3. 3 Browndog August 20, 2008 at 9:47 am

    …tranny whore make-up…Kate, you’re the best. You roll down the “jazz hands” to “jazz feet” and then hit us with “tranny whore make-up”…new screen and keyboard please.

  4. 4 Schnookie August 20, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Robin is a SUPERHERO. It has to be said.

    The synchronized swimming is just a wonderment to behold. Boomer is housesitting this week, so she spends her early evenings at home, but then goes to her charge’s house after dinner. And the person she’s sitting for is blind, so she doesn’t have a TV. Consequently, Boomer needs updates on what she missed on the Olympics the next day. So yesterday we were trying to share all the hair-raising thrills and chills of the gymnastics tie-breakers and the horror of NBC’s response to them, and she couldn’t hear a single word we were saying because the synchronized swimming was on. She was just sitting there in silent hysterics, laughing too hard to even make a sound. It is a powerful, powerful art form. And sport. It’s amazing.

  5. 5 Katebits August 20, 2008 at 11:08 am

    Destiny, I think Dressage is BEYOND weird. Have you ever seen this video? I saw it on cuteoverload a few months ago. It’s insane. That horse is a dancing fool. Not only is the horse hilarious, the announcing is straight out of “Best in Show’.

    Robin is kind of a super hero. Heh. Whenever there is trouble she’ll play her bassoon or synchronize swim the offender into submission. (Synchronized swimming is a surprisingly effective weapon as evidenced by Boomer’s experience. No one can function in the presence of synchronized swimming.)

    Thanks, Browndog! Sorry about your keyboard. :P

  6. 6 blitzen August 20, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    That dressage freestyle was outstanding. I used to ride a bit of dressage (many years ago – very low-level stuff). It is really hard for both the rider and the horse. The fact that Andreas made it look totally effortless is among the things that placed him first. But you can bet he was a puddle of sweat under all that formal wear. And his horse was so strong!! Man alive! My horse was not a great fan of dressage.

    Those are really tough moves (my favs are the half-pass, extended trots and single tempes).

    Synchro swimmers scare me.

  7. 7 Jennifer August 20, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Have you ever seen this video?

    OK, the speakers on my computer are not working so I couldn’t hear the announcing, but is that horse skipping during the first part???

  8. 8 Katebits August 20, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Jennifer, that horse is skipping in TIME TO MUSIC. It’s ca-RAZY.

  9. 9 Jennifer August 20, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Give the horse credit, I’m not sure I could skip in time to music. I’m not even sure I remember how to skip.

    *NOTE to self – attempt to skip to my car when leaving work today!

  10. 10 Gambler August 20, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Kate, that video is redonk, and the announcers are beyond hilarious. “It has the feeling of a pop show in here!” Hee!

    When I was in Vienna, I got a chance to see the Lipizzan stallions in the Spanish Riding School, and man that shit’s intense. They did a lot of the same moves as dressage horses, but they did it in synchronization with sometimes eight horses at a time. (It’s like dressage and synchronized swimming combined! Double crazy!) Then they had these moves where the horses would jump up in the air and kick out their hind legs, or stand on their hind legs and hop around like kangaroos and stuff like that. And the riders stayed on the whole time without any stirrups! Insane. And the horses were beautiful, but so strong and huge that they looked like they could eat you for breakfast. It was pretty impressive.

    Anyway, Lolo Jones’ race totally broke my heart last night, too. It’s crazy that a lifetime of preparation comes down to ten seconds or so, and just one mistake and that’s it. So, so sad.

  11. 11 bbC August 20, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    I’m glad that Dementieva won herself a gold! I love tennis and I follow her casually so that was good to see.

    And doesn’t it just seem wrong to wear so much make-up in the pool? Hmm…

  12. 12 Shari August 20, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Elana denies having a man in her life but everyone knows her and Max got it goin on. Every once in a while, I’ll read that someone saw Max at one of her matches, whereever they may be. Way to be supportive Max!
    I always thought sychronized swimming was kinda cool but are you sure those are women in those pictures? That is some pretty strong waterproof makeup!

  13. 13 JB August 20, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Tranny whore make-up… LMAO!

  14. 14 kristin August 22, 2008 at 1:40 am

    I was always a bit wary of horses, but now I think I am downright scared of them. All that dancing and prancing was a bit unnerving. Plus, it looked like the horse was going to lose his balance and break a leg. Sheesh!

  15. 15 Arun December 1, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Good post on the subject. Synchronised swimming will feature in London Olympics 2012

  16. 16 juli February 24, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    you don’t have any idea about how difficult is doing synchro swimming….
    so… if i were you, i won’t talk about something i don’t know.
    Syncrhonized swimming is one of the most complete sports ever…
    It’s a fantastic activitie!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. 17 sextrans July 13, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this website.

    I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade content by you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my very own website now ;)


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