Whenever you have four women in a room together, you have NO CHOICE but to assign them Sex and the City characters. It doesn’t matter if everyone you know is really a Miranda, someone has to be Samantha. Thems the rules.
So, without further ado, here are the remaining NHL teams, and their corresponding Sex and the City characters:
The Red Wings are devoid of all the frilly bullhonky. You may not always like them, but damn it, they get the job done. The Red Wings have no time for your bullshit, but they are surprisingly appealing when you really start looking at them. Sure, they seem a little cold and defensive on the surface, but there is a ton of passion when you look underneath.
The Red Wings will totally have sympathy sex with you after you lose one of your balls to testicular cancer.
The Blackhawks are just so gosh darn sweet. They’re so chock-full of hope and optimism that they don’t even understand what they’re up against. The Red Wings may seem brutally efficient, but don’t underestimate the Blackhawks ability to bat their eyelashes and skate right past those big old meanies.
The Blackhawks believe in love miracles.
The Penguins are the star of the show. Everything revolves around them and their quest for Mr. Cup. Most of the time they are basically likable, but a lot of the time you want to slap them off their Manolo Blahniks. If someone has to win Mr. Cup, you wouldn’t mind if it was her them.
The Penguins are going to end up with Mr. Cup eventually. Just go with it.
The Hurricanes are filthy ho-bags.