Deep Thoughts

Whenever you have four women in a room together, you have NO CHOICE but to assign them Sex and the City characters.  It doesn’t matter if everyone you know is really a Miranda,  someone has to be Samantha. Thems the rules.

So, without further ado, here are the remaining NHL teams, and their corresponding Sex and the City characters:

Red Wings-Miranda

The Red Wings are devoid of all the frilly bullhonky.  You may not always like them, but damn it, they get the job done.  The Red Wings have no time for your bullshit, but they are surprisingly appealing when you really start looking at them.  Sure, they seem a little cold and defensive on the surface, but there is a ton of passion when you look underneath.

The Red Wings will totally have sympathy sex with you after you lose one of your balls to testicular cancer.

Blackhawks- Charlotte

The Blackhawks are just so gosh darn sweet.  They’re so chock-full of hope and optimism that they don’t even understand what they’re up against.  The Red Wings may seem brutally efficient, but don’t underestimate the Blackhawks ability to bat their eyelashes and skate right past those big old meanies.

The Blackhawks believe in love miracles.

Penguins- Carrie

The Penguins are the star of the show.  Everything revolves around them and their quest for Mr. Cup.  Most of the time they are basically likable, but a lot of the time you want to slap them off their Manolo Blahniks.  If someone has to win Mr. Cup, you wouldn’t mind if it was her them.

The Penguins are going to end up with Mr. Cup eventually.  Just go with it.

Hurricanes- Samantha

The Hurricanes are filthy ho-bags.

16 Responses to “Deep Thoughts”


  1. 1 Schnookie May 18, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    I’m so glad that you pointed out what we’ve all been thinking — that Heather is TOTALLY Samantha.

  2. 3 Sally May 18, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Oh this needed to be done. You are a genius!

    PS I thought of you a few days ago when I was gurgling with mouthwash and I opened my mouth to bite my hairband, thus spilling mouthwash all over the floor.

    PPS PENGUINS SUCK! :p

  3. 5 SueInVirginia May 18, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Wow! So funny!

  4. 6 Pookie May 18, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    The Devils are the narration.

  5. 7 Heather B. May 18, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Am I offended to be Samantha? I don’t even know. I hate that stupid show and everyone else should too! :P

    Oh, wait. Filthy ho-bag? Oh. Okay. I’m more offended to be the Hurricanes than the ho-bag.

  6. 8 Amy May 18, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Excellent comparison, Kate!

  7. 9 Anne May 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Its quite amazing how well they all fit these character descriptions. Excellent pick up, Mrs. Byron Bitz.

  8. 10 Katebits May 18, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Heather = Hurricanes.

    I’m sorry Heather, but the math works out.

  9. 11 Ryan May 18, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    Does the same theory apply to boats and airplanes?

  10. 12 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 18, 2009 at 10:35 pm

    I hate that stupid show and everyone else should too! :P

    I’m with Heather. I think the final four should each be one of the Three Amigos instead, and fuck the ‘Canes. (They can be Chevy Chase in a different movie, if they must have a role. Maybe they could be Fletch. Or the guy from Spies Like Us.)

  11. 13 Shauna May 18, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    Brilliant and spot on. I will now refer to these teams ONLY by SatC character names.

  12. 14 Katebits May 18, 2009 at 11:53 pm

    The Canes canNOT be Fletch! If don’t like the Sex and the City comparison, the Canes can be Tina Yothers from Family Ties. That would make the Blackhawks Mallory, and the Penguins Alex P Keaton, and the Red Wings the weird little brother that didn’t join the cast until the last few seasons. Family Ties doesn’t really work as well.

  13. 15 Grrrreg May 19, 2009 at 4:49 am

    I never liked Sex and the City, but that’s a good comparison!

    The Red Wings will totally have sympathy sex with you after you lose one of your balls to testicular cancer.

    I loved this phrase.

  14. 16 Heather B. May 19, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    The Red Wings will totally have sympathy sex with you after you lose one of your balls to testicular cancer.

    I guess Phil Kessel knows who to call if he’s ever hard up.


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