The Sabres trumpeted this information on their website and on Twitter:
All aboard the Lunch Express! Next stop, tenth place!
I’d post a link, but the tweet has been deleted (good thing I took a screen shot!) and the information on the website has been changed. Apparently the segment will NOT be live, but taped in the morning, before free agency begins.
If I weren’t crying about the fact that our GM is wasting ANY time on July 1st with this nonsense, I’d be giggling about the fact that someone (probably SEVERAL people) at the Sabres organization thought this was a good plan.
Here’s how I’m pretty sure that went down:
Random PR dude: Hey, I know what Sabres fans want most on July 1st!
Hecht: For me to get traded?
Random PR dude: No! They want the opportunity to ask Darcy Regier a softball question!
Hecht: Are…you sure about that?
Random PR dude: Of COURSE! The Fans LOVE listening to Darcy drone on and on about his justification for doing nothing! They LOVE it! And do you know what else do fans love?
Random PR dude: No, seriously. Take a guess. What do fans love more than Darcy Regier? Come on. One guess.
Random PR dude: Exactly! And trains! Lunch, trains, and Darcy Regier! It CAN’T FAIL!
Hecht: But shouldn’t Darcy be working, or at the very least be pretending to work tomorrow? It’s the opening of free agency. I think fans want to see change. Won’t a “live” interview be sending the wrong message to the fans?
Random PR dude: Nah. But what do you think Darcy?
Darcy Regier: Working? On free agency day? I’d be BURNED AT THE STAKE! No! The people want to ask me stuff!
Random PR dude: See! It’s what the people want! Trust me. I know these things. The Lunch Express is a big hit. Next week we’re going to have an interview with Tom Golisano, but we’re not going to ask him any questions. It’s just going to be ten minutes of him in Florida, sitting on a pile of cash, and making out with Monica Seles. The Sabres fans are going to go NUTS for it! WOOOO!
Hecht: I’d like a trade.
Darcy Regier: Well, too bad! You’re untradeable! WOOOOOOO!
Then, Darcy and the PR Department turn off all the phones, fax machines, and computers so the racket of other team’s GMs calling won’t interfere with the taping of the Lunch Express. Then they high five and start a conga line.
(I feel a little bad about this post. I’m not sure that it’s cool to make fun of the Sabres PR people. I think that athletes, coaches and GMs are fair game for bloggy meanness, but I’m less sure about the people working in the office. Sorry, Sabres PR people! I couldn’t resist!)
(Now that I really think about it, this might be all Kevin Sylvester’s fault.)
(Blaming Kevin Sylvester for everything is fair, funny, and most likely totally accurate.)