Sabretooth Needs a Better Lawyer

Kevin Snow (Sabres PR director) confirmed that this is, in fact, the real Sabretooth.  Sabretooth has a twitter account, you guys.

While this is obviously a very exciting development, it also raises all sorts of issues, not the least of which is the shocking knowledge that Sabretooth CAN READ AND WRITE!   Now, I know for a fact that he cannot speak (or perhaps he choose not to?), so the fact that he apparently can read and write in English is AMAZING.

I really think that the Sabres organization should provide him with some sort of computer (or chalkboard) so he can communicate while working at the arena.  He’s compensated for his muteness by becoming a fantastic physical comedian, but, now that we know Sabretooth CAN read and write, I feel we have a moral obligation to give him the tools to do so.  Sabretooth has given us so much, it’s time that his voice was heard!   He should have a little computer with him at ALL TIMES so that he can express himself when banging on the glass, and shooting t-shirts out of a gun is not enough.

For all we know, Sabretooth is a poet.

11 Responses to “Sabretooth Needs a Better Lawyer”


  1. 1 Caroline September 24, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Sabretooth is awesome. One time he took me on a tour around the Arena. When I first found out it would be Sabretooth I was thinking it would be awkward because HE DOESN’T TALK…but alas, he wasn’t in costume.

  2. 2 danielleia September 24, 2009 at 9:51 pm

    They say Goose is a fantastic teacher.

  3. 3 Amy September 25, 2009 at 8:21 am

    I’m amazed that Sabretooth can type on a computer/blackberry keyboard with those giant fingers of his. Well done, Mr. Tooth, well done.

    I really think that the Sabres organization should provide him with some sort of computer (or chalkboard) so he can communicate while working at the arena.

    I see Sabretooth ripping off Lindy’s dry erase board from behind the bench and diagramming plays.

  4. 4 Schnookie September 25, 2009 at 8:57 am

    When I first found out it would be Sabretooth I was thinking it would be awkward because HE DOESN’T TALK…but alas, he wasn’t in costume.

    Wait… “costume”? :P

    And I think they should give Sabretooth a trumpet. Like in Trumpet of the Swan.

  5. 5 Matt September 25, 2009 at 9:55 am

    He needs no trumpet, he has his awesome drum!

  6. 6 Gambler September 25, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    I’m amazed that Sabretooth can type on a computer/blackberry keyboard with those giant fingers of his.

    I’m imagining that he brings out his tiny retractable claws and types with those when he needs to. The mental image of Sabretooth tip-tapping away on a keyboard with just two dainty claw points is amusing me to no end.

  7. 7 Pink September 28, 2009 at 9:06 am

    If you hire a new lawyer, your new lawyer should take care of the process of getting your file from your former lawyer and getting any necessary substitution of counsel filed with the court.
    You can hire any lawyer you want, as long as they’re licensed to practice in the court where your case is pending, but hiring one near the courthouse can save you from having to pay for your lawyer’s travel time.

  8. 8 Katebits September 28, 2009 at 9:22 am

    Ordinarily I erase spam comments IMMEDIATELY, but in this context, I kind of love this one, “Pink”.

  9. 9 Schnookie September 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

    That is some fantastic spam. I hope Sabretooth takes note of that helpful advice.


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