9 Things

1. What is wrong with the Hurricanes?  I mean, HONESTLY.  If the Sabres had played Lalime instead of Crunchy the score could have been 4-0 going into the third period, but even THAT wouldn’t have been enough for Carolina to overcome their complete and utter third period suckitude.  The third period was breathtaking, especially when you consider the Hurricanes did that last night too.

2. Rick might be right.  We’re not worthy (of Crunchy).

3. Except for Ryan Miller, for the first two periods the Sabres looked T to the E to the R to the R to the I to the B to the L to the E.  That was pukeriffic.

4. I miss Goose already.  *mournful honk*  (Side note: The other day I was hanging out with a percussionist friend and he pulled out his collection of bird calls.  Every once in a while a piece of music requires a bird call of some sort, and as a result all percussionists have a box of odd whistles and honks at the ready.  When my friend pulled out the goose call, I got all wistful imagining a whole arena of people honking away in tribute to Goose.  Now ordinarily I am VERY opposed to noisemakers in the stands, but just once it would be fun.  Especially if we could somehow surprise Goose with a chorus of genuine honks after his next goal.)

5. How drunk was Robi during the postgame report tonight?  Loved it.

6. When you play The Nutcracker you often feel like an animal in a zoo because a lot of parents bring their kids to the edge of the pit to look down at the orchestra. I’m never sure if I should wave at these children, or if I should just ignore them.  Wouldn’t it freak you out if an animal in a zoo made eye contact and then waved?  I don’t want to scare the children.

7. Every time they showed Crunchy during a stoppage of play, he was rooting around in his jersey.  Something about his pads must have been on his nervies tonight.  Did someone forget to add the fabric softener?   You can’t do that to him.  He has sensitive skin.

8. I know that by the time he scored it Vanek’s goal was pretty meaningless, but it was still nice to see.  I miss good Vanek.  I hope he comes back someday.

9. Now look, I loooove NYC, but I am SO INCREDIBLY SICK of the “rah rah New York City” commercials that we have to watch on MSG.  We live in BUFFALO, MSG.  Buff. a. lo.  It’s DIFFERENT than NYC.  Quite.  Stop showing us commercials with a bunch of people beating their chests about The City.  We. Don’t. Care.  If a commercial doesn’t contain Cellino, Barnes, Yancy’s Fancy, Hurt in a Car?, or knotted ropes representing veins IT’S NOT FOR US.

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15 Responses to “9 Things”


  1. 1 CrotchetyOriginalSam November 29, 2009 at 12:18 am

    Wouldn’t it freak you out if an animal in a zoo made eye contact and then waved? I don’t want to scare the children.

    You don’t?! What kind of pit orchestra musician are you? The proper protocol is as follows:

    1) Make full eye contact and smile.

    2) Wave.

    3) As soon as parental unit looks away, drop smile, point directly at child, and emit low, guttural growl. If parental unit continues to look away, perform small lunge in child’s direction.

    4) Recommence smiling.

  2. 2 ms.conduct November 29, 2009 at 12:18 am

    Just wanted to say that I <3 you. I giggled all the way through this.

  3. 3 Katebits November 29, 2009 at 12:42 am

    AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA, Sam! I’m going to try that tomorrow.

    Aww, THANKS ms.conduct! Seriously.

  4. 4 Jen November 29, 2009 at 1:09 am

    Re:9 — I’ve been trying to figure out for *months* why you guys have to see, like, Knick commercials. Hell, I live in NYC and *I* don’t want to watch the Knicks.

    I approve of the goose calls. Make it happen! Start a trend! \o/

  5. 5 Heather B. November 29, 2009 at 1:11 am

    I don’t know where we can get our hands on 18,000 goose calls but I would glad stand at the doors of HSBC before our next game together and pass them out to everyone with a stern, “But don’t tell Goose!” He seems like the kind of guy that would appreciate all that effort. (I love the idea of a guy with a collection of bird calls and whistles. I will never stop being fascinated by life as a professional musician.)

    But yeah, dude. Sucks to be a Canes fan. I think even the dummy Sabres have avoided giving us back-to-back clunkers like THAT.

  6. 6 CrotchetyOriginalSam November 29, 2009 at 1:17 am

    I don’t know where we can get our hands on 18,000 goose calls but I would glad stand at the doors of HSBC before our next game together and pass them out to everyone with a stern, “But don’t tell Goose!”

    I’d be glad to swipe our percussion section’s set of duck calls and mail them to Buffalo if you think this is doable…

  7. 7 Meg November 29, 2009 at 1:52 am

    I think when I was a kid I would have loved it if the orchestra players waved to me (although I don’t actually recall ever being taken down to look into the pit).

    And I agree with Jen; there are few things this NYC resident is less interested in than watching the Knicks.

  8. 8 Kathleen November 29, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Don’t forget hyperhydrosis. Of course it’s not at all the same without Soupy.

    I am SO in favor of an arena full of people honk-honking for the Goose.

    3) As soon as parental unit looks away, drop smile, point directly at child, and emit low, guttural growl. If parental unit continues to look away, perform small lunge in child’s direction.

    *on the floor*

  9. 9 Katebits November 29, 2009 at 11:09 am

    I don’t know where we can get our hands on 18,000 goose calls but I would glad stand at the doors of HSBC before our next game together and pass them out to everyone with a stern, “But don’t tell Goose!”

    :^::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  10. 10 Courtney S.F. November 29, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    I do not wave unless my stand partner makes me feel guilty about ignoring the children. I just know that the parent is probably saying “See that lady with her violin?” and that bugs me. I do, however, always bring chocolate for my section so we have something to do while we’re not waving at the children.

  11. 11 Amy November 29, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    a box of odd whistles and honks at the ready

    I’m thinking about how much more enjoyable my job would be if I had a box of whistles and honks at the ready.

    I think Goose would appreciate it if there was mass honking at the arena. At least it wouldn’t sound like people were booing him.

  12. 12 Heather B. November 29, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Courtney, not only do you not wave at the small children, you eat chocolate in front of them? Harsh. :P

  13. 13 Pookie November 29, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    I remember fondly having a whole discussion with a viola player in intermission of some Broadway musical when I was a kid. Then I went to theater school, took a theatrical contracts and law class and learned all about the wacky B’way union rules that require x-number of pit musicians in certain venues even if the show doesn’t have music, and then I was like, “Holy flirking schniit, why didn’t that viola player tell me that so I could somehow work my way into THE BEST JOB EVER! I wouldn’t even matter if I couldn’t play viola for shit! I’d just sit there and fulfill a union requirement!”

  14. 14 Katebits November 29, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    What?! I’ve never a thing, Pookie. I don’t think the viola players are the ones who get the “just sit there and fulfill a union requirement” gigs. Being a viola player is the HARDEST job EVER. *shifty eyes*

  15. 15 CrotchetyOriginalSam November 30, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Pookie’s actually right about that one. The Broadway minimums are one of the crazier manifestations of our union’s efforts to make it hard for shows without live music to exist.

    That having been said, I have a cellist friend who spent 15 years playing 8 performances a week of Beauty & The Beast, and you seriously could not pay me enough to do that, so maybe they deserve some unfair work rules to compensate for the absolute soul-crushing nature of the job…


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