Archive for January, 2010

Trade-y

My.  Well that was certainly an interesting day for trading.

I’m not too worried about the Leafs suddenly turning into a powerhouse.  If my fantasy hockey stats over the last few years have taught me anything, it’s that both J.S. Giguere and Dion Phaneuf are BAD at hockey.

It’s too bad Brian Burke didn’t check with me first.  I could have warned him.

5 Things

1. If Clarke MacArthur is scratched in the woods and no one is there to see it, does he make a sound?

I guess I’m not a very big C-Mac fan because I didn’t even notice his absence yesterday at the arena.  Now, that was a VERY boring game, so I think my weak powers of observation should be forgiven.  I happily entertained myself by yammering with Jessica, drinking big beers, and apparently, not missing Clarke MacArthur in the slightest.

2. Jessica is a hoot, and it’s fun to go to games with her.  We sat in her seats yesterday, and it was neat to have a different view.  It got me thinking that it would be fun if the Sabres sold a season ticket package where you moved all around the arena during the season.

3. My ability to cause the Sabres to score by complaining about them is getting a little spooky.  Yesterday, literally MOMENTS after I said, “Vanek, Roy, and Mair is a weird line.  I do NOT approve,” they scored.  This season alone I’ve made Vanek, MacArthur, Pominville, and Roy-Z, and now Mair, all score by bitching about them.  I wish that I could somehow channel this power into more Sabres goals, but I have to be genuinely peeved in order for it to work.

It seems to work best with Vanek.  Maybe I should try to remember to be irritated with him.  He needs me!

4. We scooted up to the Harbor Club for a drink after the game, and it was super fun, but they kicked everyone out at 10:30.  I think the Harbor Club bar should stay open later.  Silly Sabres.

5. I really wanted #phony to trend on Twitter today in honor of J.D. Salinger.  Can you IMAGINE what Holden would say about Twitter? I mean, EXACTLY HOW PHONY can something even BE?!  Envisioning J.D. Salinger on Twitter really cracks me up.

6 Things

1.You know what sucked most about last night?   The damn Canucks didn’t bother to score on their unjust power play, and the Sabres DID score on their make-up call power play, so even though that whole Kerry Fraser episode was COMPLETE BULLHONKY, we can’t even claim that’s why the Sabres lost.  No, the Sabres lost because those creepy Sedins (particularly that one Sedin) are MUCH better at hockey than they are.

3. For the first time since I starting thinking about the Sabres in the Olympics, I’m a little bit worried about Miller’s involvement.  I mean, the Olympics are fun and all, but I don’t care AT ALL about Team USA in comparison to how much I care about Team Buffalo Sabres.   If Crunchy gets hurt, or comes home all bedraggled and not-so-fresh, I’m going to be irked.

3. I am going to FOUR Sabres games in the next two weeks.  How lucky am I?  WOO!

4. I’m surprisingly attached to Tim Connolly’s points streak.  Regular readers of this blog know that I barely cheer for Timmeh, so it’s weird to feel this gung-ho about his individual achievement, but I do.  TIMMEH!

5. I’m going to admit something to you guys because I feel I can trust you: I’m trying to be cool about the Sabres poopy road trip because that seems to be what the more experienced hockey watchers are doing, but truthfully, I’m kind of sucking my thumb, holding my Sabres security blanket up against my cheek, and rocking softly back and forth right now.   I’m not freaking out, but I am being a bit of a worrywart.  I don’t LIKE when they lose.  Losing makes me feel sad and mad.  *stomps foot like a brat* *also whines pathetically*

6. Those of you who follow me on twitter might have noticed that I had jury duty yesterday.  Jury duty was hilariously easy.  I got there at 9am, and at 10:30 I was in a pool of people who were released without having to answer a single question.  Sweet!  (Private to the State of New York: It’s time to freshen up that “Welcome to jury duty!” video.  It’s the same one I watched seven years ago, and while I DO get a kick out of your dramatization of the whole witch-trial If-you-float-you’re-guilty-if-you-sink-you’re-innocent situation, I don’t think your repeat customers should have to watch reruns.)

Hello

Blobby Fixed

Just come here, you big lug.  You and me, baby.  We don’t need the Sabres.

Scouts

Yesterday Heather tweeted a link to this Globe and Mail article about how the NHL teams with big budgets have much bigger scouting staffs than the on-a-shoe-string teams (like the Sabres).

The article is amusing for a few reasons.  First of all, you get information like this:

By sending one scout to a game who is trained how to use a video camera, he can come back with a DVD that can be studied by several other Sabres scouts.

I know!  They TRAIN professional hockey scouts to use a video camera!  What kind of science fiction world are we living in?  What is this, The Jetsons?  SCOUTS with video cameras?!  WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?!

And then there is this:

Regier said he has had inquiries from other teams about their system, but so far no one has adopted the model as completely as the Sabres.

I’m pretty sure those inquiries went like this:

Brian Burke: Darcy, I’m calling to inquirer about your new scouting department. That is biz-ONKERS, dude.
Darcy: Well, it’s really quite fascinating.  You see, scientists have invented this crazy device that will record the things that happen at a game.
Brian Burke: ….You mean like a phonograph?
Darcy: Well kind of, but a phonograph is just a sound recording.  With a video camera you can actually see the action too.
Brian Burke: Whoa whoa whoa.  You are BLOWING my mind.
Darcy Regier: Do you want me to tell you more?
Brian Burke: No.  Please slow down.  This is too much to absorb.  I don’t think I can take it.  Just stop talking.

The article prompted Heather and I to have a goofy conversation on Twitter where I admitted that I’ve always imagined that the Sabres are actually sending soulless robots to do their scouting.  I mean, with all the uproar about the Sabres using video technology instead of thinking, feeling human beings, there was only one logical assumption left to make:

Robots are cheaper than people because they don’t need health insurance. THE SABRES ARE CHEAP!

Robot: A.ccord.ing.to.my.cal.cu.la.tions.you.should.draft.Drew.Staff.ord.next.
Darcy Regier: Are you sure, robot?  I mean, he appears to be a brain eating zombie….and a furry.
Robot: I.be.lieve.Drew.Staff.ord.will.be.an.im.por.tant.part.of.the.Sab.res.
or.gan.i.za.tion.
Darcy Regier: But….what about Evgeni Malkin?  Shouldn’t I pick him before Drew Stafford?
Robot: NO.Ev.gen.i.Mal.kin.does.not.compute.does.not.com.pute.does.not.com.pute.
does….not…com….puuuute…
Darcy Regier: Darn it.  This robot is always getting jammed. (slams the robot on the head)
Robot: (whirring back to life) ….a.cord.ing.to.my.cal.cu.la.tions.Drew.Staff.ord.
is.bett.er.at.hoc.key.than.Ev.gen.i.Malk.in.
Darcy: Okay, robot.  If you say so!  Stafford it is!  I’ll pick Malkin in round two…

(I know, I know. The Sabres did NOT actually draft Staffy before Malkin.)

_________

I think that’s enough nonsense for one day.

(Private message to the Sabres: The moral of the story is you should NEVER give me and Heather just a little information.  That’s about the worst thing you could possible do.  You should either explain how your video scouting works completely, or you shouldn’t say anything at all.  As God is my witness, I will believe for the rest of my days that you’re sending Short Circuit to do your scouting.)

The Sabres Are Never Winning Again…

….but the night wasn’t a total loss.

Sweet.

I feel like there is something off with the Sabres and the Hockey Gods right now.  When they were in the middle of a 10 game points streak I was all, “Why aren’t they losing?” and during this entire road-trip-of-poop I’ve been thinking,”Why aren’t they winning?”

Rats.

5 Things

1. I don’t mind that the Sabres lost in both Anaheim and L.A.  Those were HUGELY entertaining and feisty games, and while I hate when people say this, the Sabres could have won either of those games just as easily as they lost.  However, it’s now time for the Sabres to stop almost not losing, and actually win (2 points) again.

And Sabres, I don’t want to hear any whining about how, “They’re the Sharks, they’re SCARY!” because you had your chance to get two points from the less intimidating California teams, and you chose to be all sassy and run-and-gunny.  Run-and-gun (or as the Kings announcers like to call it “DEFENSEMEN, ACTIVATE!”) is DEFINITELY fun (and again, I’m not complaining about the last two games), but let’s face it, run-and-gun doesn’t really work unless you guys consistently hit the net, which….you don’t always do.  So, I hate to say it, but it’s time to be machine-like and boring again.  WOOOOOOO, for trapping!

2. The combination of the late start time and the opposing team’s announcers give this week such an exotic feel.   I love it.  I even like listening to the announcers, mostly because I know this is only for another week, and then Rick will come back and all will be well.

I have Center Ice, and I watch the Kings a lot.  I genuinely like their announcing team, and I thought they did a good job talking about the Sabres.  I thought the game broadcast last night was intelligent and interesting.

Rick Jeanneret is wonderful because he makes every game so exciting.  He’s charming, and fun, and colorful.  He’s irreplaceable.  If we can’t have Rick forever (and sadly, we probably can’t), I think the Sabres should go in an entirely different direction for awhile, and take the “informative and buttoned-up” route.  It’s going to be a rough time no matter what, but the Sabres should do everything they can to avoid the indignity of someone trying to “be like Rick Jeanneret”.

3. Now I’m all depressed.  Rick is going to live to be 150-years-old and broadcast until the day he dies!

4. Please welcome three new blogs to the blogroll: Roll the Highlight Film and The Ruff Writers (good name!), and Let’s Go Buffalo!

5. The Sabres want my money again!  For playoff tickets!  WOOOOOO!  Here’s my Visa number, Sabres!  Take whatever you want!  (Note to Hockey Gods: I’m hoping that this whole “counting our chickens [and in the Sabres’ case, dollars] before they hatch thing isn’t too jinxy.  Yeah, it’s quite a bit too early for this, but look how charmingly enthused we are about it.  You can forgive us for being excited, right?  *fingers crossed*)


…A Blog About the Buffalo Sabres

Observations 2
I can be reached at: willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com

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In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Willful Caboose uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey my criticism and inform the public of the Sabres' suckitude/badassitude (whatever the case may be). Photos on The Willful Caboose are used without permission, but do not interfere with said owner's profit. If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail me (willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com) and I will be more than happy willing to oblige. (Special thanks to The Pensblog for their help with this disclaimer.)

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