Crunchy Tanks in the Shootout; Alternately Titled: It’s For the Greater Good

Scene: Sabres bench, right before shootout

MacArthur: This is awesome.  No matter how badly we play, we can’t lose.

The Kaleta!: I know!  It’s like, we totally suck for two periods, Millsie keeps us in it, and then somehow the game winds up tied at the end!   We rock….even when we suck!

Roy-Z: WOOOOOOOO!!  I ROCK!

Staffy: We hotways hot it up by the hot of the hot.  It’s a hot game, boys! Let’s go hot the shoothot.

Roy-Z: Wait….what?

Staffy: Just forhot it.  You’re a hotiot, Roy-Z.

Roy-Z: I totally am!  WOOOOO!

Mylers: So, if I get called for the shootout I’m going to do the thing where I skate up to the net, and then stop and then use my long arm to go all the way around the goalie.

Lindy: You’re not shooting, Myers.

Everyone in Buffalo: BOOOOO!

Goose, Grier, and Hecht: (chanting quietly) Please don’t make me shoot in the shootout, please don’t make me shoot in the shootout, please don’t make me shoot in the shootout…..

Tim Connolly: (visibly thinking really hard) It’s impossible for us to lose, which is weird because we were TOTALLY trying to lose tonight.

Lydman: Remember last year when it was impossible for us to win? That was lame.  I like it better when it’s impossible for us to lose. (Lydman and Staffy fist bump)

Chris Butler: So, if it’s impossible for us to lose now, can I shoot in the shootout?  Pleeeease, Lindy?  Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

Lindy: IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO LOSE, YOU HOTIOTS.

Ryan Miller: I’ll show YOU impossible to lose you little effers.

(Ryan Miller proceeds to let 54 Islanders score in the shootout.)

The End

Islander win 3-2 (SO) and the Sabres learn a valuable lesson: It’s not impossible to lose.  Not if Ryan Miller has anything to say about it.


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15 Responses to “Crunchy Tanks in the Shootout; Alternately Titled: It’s For the Greater Good”


  1. 2 Jaime January 16, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Hecht may not have wanted to be picked for the shoot out but he made a pretty spiffy move! Let’s have him do that more often!

  2. 3 Katebits January 16, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks, Caroline!

    He sure did, Jaime. A couple of unexpected Sabres looked pretty decent in the shootout. Crunchy was pretty unexpected too, actually. :D

  3. 4 Heather B January 16, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Yo-Yo’s scored in TWO STRAIGHT SHOOTOUTS, you cynical non-believers! :P

    I’ll bet Lindy calls Roy-Z a hotiot to his face ALL the time.

  4. 5 Caroline January 16, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    I’m just wondering when Lindy is going to finally realize that Vanek is no good in the shootout. It’s time to pass the shooter torch to…Jochen, perhaps?!

  5. 6 Katebits January 16, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    Yeah, but you KNOW Yo-yo still dreads it every single time, Heather.

    I’ll bet Lindy calls Roy-Z a hotiot to his face ALL the time.

    Heh. Totally.

  6. 7 Heather B January 16, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    Kate, I was just coming back here to say, “But Jochen does still skate to center ice looking like he’s about to be sick to his stomach.” (It’s adorable.)

  7. 8 Katebits January 16, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    It is weird that he uses Vanek so much, Caroline. I have this weird feeling like Lindy thinks he’s going to boost Vanek’s confidence by putting him in the shootout, but it backfires EVERY time.

  8. 9 Heather B January 16, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Lindy seems to be very stuck on the idea that THESE guys (top two line scorers) are good at shootouts and THOSE guys (bottom two line forwards, d-men) are not even though EVERY SINGLE TEAM in the league has some crazy shootout specialist who barely ever scores in game situations and lots of teams don’t use their offensive stars until later rounds. It’s a skill all its own, Lindy. Let go of your lazy misconceptions.

    (I think you’re right about Vanek though. It’s always a reward for a good game. You’d think Lindy would only have to watch Vanek skate back to the bench while screaming and beating himself over the head with his own stick a couple of times before he realized it’s not really that rewarding.)

  9. 10 Katebits January 17, 2010 at 12:18 am

    You’d think Lindy would only have to watch Vanek skate back to the bench while screaming and beating himself over the head with his own stick a couple of times before he realized it’s not really that rewarding.

    :^:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Seriously. Vanek is seems like an emotional disaster at this point. I hope someone is making him see a sports psychologist.

  10. 11 SueInVirginia January 17, 2010 at 8:23 am

    He totally needs to see the person that Tallinder went to!

  11. 12 Matt January 17, 2010 at 8:27 am

    I thought for sure I could see Whompy cursing and muttering under his mask last night. Now I know what he was saying. Thanks, Katebits!

  12. 13 Phil January 17, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Classic Katebits, this post.

    And Crunchy totally showed those freeloading hotiots. Totally.

  13. 14 Aaron January 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    “Holy crap, diPietro’s letting anything within two feet of the five-hole into the net! I know, let’s keep deke-ing to the stick side!”

  14. 15 Amy January 17, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    I love how Roy-Z just seems to focus on the hot part of hotiot.


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