The timing of this Ilya Kovalchuk trade is really a shame. The collective mental health of Sabres fans (always shaky, even in the best of times) was already spiraling, and now we’ve got Lou Lamoriello reminding us that even the DEVILS are bold and creative adventurers compared to Darcy and The Gang. The Devils.
A month ago if you had told me that Kovalchuk would be available for the equivalent of Butler, Kennedy and Ennis I would have said, “THAT is the DUMBEST thing I have EVER heard. I can’t WAIT to laugh and laugh and laugh at whatever pathetically desperate team bites at that one.” Then I would have wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes and gazed adoringly at my perfect, perfect Buffalo Sabres.
Good golly. I would trade those suckheads in a heartbeat.
To Atlanta: Butler, Kennedy, Ennis.
To Buffalo: Three orange TicTacs.
Done and DONE. At least with this trade Butts and Kennedy would be off the ice, and Buffalo would have three delicious orange TicTacs.
I know, I know, I’m being petulant and ridiculous. What can I say? “Petulant and Ridiculous” is my middle name.
Here are a few uncranky things to offset my crankiness. Consider these the “carbon credits” of pissy blogging.
- I’m not sure what Sekera’s numbers were like yesterday (I haven’t dared to look at the stats), but he was a bright spot from the game. That guy should NOT be in the press box anymore. Free Sekera!
- This was my fourth game in two weeks at the arena, and my second HIDEOUS game in three nights. At some point during the second period as I was getting increasingly disgruntled (the 2nd period theoretically should have been exciting because the Sabres had something like, 40,000 shots on goal, but sadly every shot was accompanied by the deepening sense that the Sabres would never score again) I decided to play a game where I only watched Tyler Myers. And I mean ONLY him. I even tried to keep my eyes glued to him even when he was sitting on the bench doing nothing. It’s a surprisingly rewarding game. I can highly recommend it. My game led to a lot of firing and unfiring of Tyler on Twitter, and for that, I apologize to my followers. I was just trying to find my happy place. (Related aside: if anyone ever wants to discuss Tyler Myers’ long-astonishingly-skinny-leg-iness, I am now fully prepared to do so. I’ve done the research.)
- I’m not sure this qualifies as “uncranky” but let’s give it a shot: At the end of the 3rd period I reeeally had to pee but because of the STUPID GATE at the end of my row, in order to do so, I would have had to make about 15 people stand up to allow me to pass. That’s just bad form at the end of a tie game, so I resigned myself to holding it in until the game was over. BUT, I was feeling uncomfortable enough to say to Robin, “If this game goes to overtime I’m going to be irked. Heh. I shouldn’t have said that. Now the Hurricanes are going to scor- OH FOR EFFS SAKE, CRUNCHY!” Seriously. The timing was that perfect. I’m not sorry, in fact, I’m a little proud. The Sabres deserved that jinx.
- I usually buy a few 50/50 tickets at the game. I find 50/50 charming in its simplicity. Usually I buy between 1-5 tickets depending entirely on how many one dollar bills I have in my wallet. Last night, I bought 4 tickets. Get this- the gal who sold me the tickets tore each ticket off of a different booklet. I thought this was INCREDIBLE. I’m sure that the math will back me up here, because I believe STRONGLY that my odds of winning go up exponentially when my ticket numbers are not sequential. Thank you 50/50 girl! I didn’t win last night, but I sincerely appreciate your efforts to increase my chances.