Archive for March, 2010

Having Nothing to Do With Anything…

This morning I sent out a tweet-for-help.

I needed suggestions on what to buy as a present for a superhero-obsessed 4-year-old.  I thank you for all your ideas, and since I ended up with what I think is the CUTEST and most BITCHIN’ present in the history of EVER, I thought I’d follow up on my blog.

Check out this bad boy:

For all your 4-year-old space-walking needs.  (It’s an astronaut suit, just in case you have no imagination or are a stickler for “realism”.) To infinity and beyond, homeslice.

7 Things

1. I’m not sure how many times you guys can stand to hear me say “I can’t believe we’re going to the playoffs,” but for realio…….WOOOOO!   As a relatively new fan, I have no frame of reference for this.  The Sabres clinched a playoff berth and they still have eight games to play?  Whaaa?  I haven’t looked at this site at all this year.  Is spring still going to come even if I’m not obsessively praying that other loathsome NHL teams lose so that the Sabres playoff hopes stay alive?

This is just so WEIRD!  The Sabres are going to the playoffs!  What IS this happy hockey-related feeling in my heart?  WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

2.  HOW ABOUT THAT TYLER ENNIS?!  Holy buckets.  I’ll join in with the chorus of people who are vocally praying that he stays up for Buffalo for the duration of the regular season.   I don’t quite understand how the roster works during the playoffs (I think there’s an expanded roster?  Something like that?), and I don’t care.  For the time being, let’s make room for Tyler Ennis.

It’s too bad we didn’t see more of Ennis during the regular season because it’s kind of kooky to suggest he should be on the playoff roster at this stage.  BUT, we’ve got eight games to study him and argue about him.  (Provided at least one of our injured players stays hurt.  I would urge Darcy to personally injure one of them if that’s what it takes to buy the time necessary to figure Ennis out.)  Wouldn’t it be fun if he turned out like Tyler Myers?  A fully functional NHLer, fresh out of the draft-womb, just in time for a playoff run?

3. In addition to being good at hockey, Tyler Ennis already has a KILLER nickname.  “Ennis the Menace” is a GREAT name, especially for a small blond player.   Just think of the fun we can have watching his opponents shaking their fist at him and bellowing “Ennnnissss!”

4. Tyler Ennis, if you need a place to stay while in Buffalo, you can totally stay at my house.  You can have your own room, and I’ll cook you meals, and I’ll mostly stay out of your way except to occasionally veto the skankiest puck bunnies.  The only downside is that you’ll have to park your car on the street, I get to keep control of the television remote, no loud music, and I’m going to need you to do some light handyman work around the house.  (How good are you at roofing?)

5. I’ve gone back and forth and back and forth about writing a detailed post about Patrick Lalime Boo-Gate, but I’m going to do the internet a favor and keep my thoughts to myself.  I wish the Sabres had done the same.  Heh.

6.  You know who I love?  Ryan Miller.  Also, Goose.  And Pommerdoodle.

7. Maybe it’s just because I’m a girl, and math is hard, but I find all the “magic number” talk to be HUGELY confusing.  Way back in the day when I was a baseball fan (and a child), I had my arms all the way around the concept.  I understood it fully.  But with hockey, and with hockey’s system of points, it makes absolutely no sense.  I’m just taking the internet’s word that the Sabres have clinched a playoff berth.  Truthfully, I don’t get it at all.

WOO!

I know we’ve been marching towards this forever, and no one with even three brain cells would be surprised, but still.  I am so happy that they clinched the playoffs.   So happy!  Let your car flags fly!

EEEEEEEEEEE!!

Response

Dear Katebits,

Um, please stop sending us letters.  We get it, you want us to win blah blah blah blah blah.  Look, we’ve got a plan, okay?  Our plan doesn’t involve taking advice from bloggers, and it doesn’t involve beating Ottawa ever.

Sincerely,

The Sabres

PS: Love the car flag.

Part 5

Dear Sabres,

Man, I sure opened a can of worms with this car flag thing. I’ve decided to keep it on. I’m keeping it on because that’s how the readers voted and because that’s my gut instinct, but more important than either of those reasons is this: What kind of person removes a joyful car flag out of fear?  When I put the car flag up I did it without a second thought to superstitious protocol.  I just put the car flag up because I was in a good mood.  I think removing it now would be terribly cowardly.  I made my choice two days ago, and I did so with a spring in my step and joy in my heart.  Surely the Hockey Gods cannot frown upon such enthusiasm.

What I’ve really learned from Car Flag-Gate is that I’m ready to turn the page on the whole “analyze and debate” portion of the season, and get on with the, “Just cross our fingers and hope for the best” phase.  We fans can debate and discuss your chances all we want, but the wheels of the post season are already in motion, so, I’m going to just go with it.

Installing the car flag is very indicative of current mood:  Eff reason and decorum, it’s time to start cheering for the Sabres.

Now, about this game with Ottawa.  Listen guys, I think you need to win this game.  I realize I’ve been saying this about every game for weeks, but…..for real now.  The Ottawa fucking Senators are NOT as good at hockey as you.  YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEM.  Tonight you have the chance to clinch a playoff spot, but even more importantly you have the chance to shake the retarded-monkey-that-is-the-Senators off your back.  Let’s not wait for the post-sesaon.  Let’s beat them into submission now.  Isn’t always losing to them getting irritating?

This is not a must-win.  This is a Holy Shit It Would Feel Good To Win. You should win tonight for the sake of winning.  Because it would feel good, and because the Senators are monumentally less awesome than you.  You should start the post season by ending this dumb “thing” you have with the Sens.

I won’t be at the game.  Me, my viola, and my car flag will be in Williamsville playing a concert tonight.  But, I know you can do it.

Let’s Go Buff-a-lo!

love,

Katebits

4 Things

1. LAST NIGHT WAS AWESOME.  I mean, sure, the Sabres sucked ass for 57.5 minutes of the game, but that only made the win sweeter.  It came out of no where.  It came out of no where, and it swept us all up, and it was just joy joy joy.

2. Last night one of the sledge hockey gold medalists spent a few minutes sitting near us in the arena.  He had his gold medal around his neck and it was absolutely mesmerizing.   Before last night I wouldn’t have thought that’d I’d be so interested in looking at a gold medal, but honestly, I could not stop staring at it.  Gold medals are very cool and very awe inspiring.

3. I’m not one to get too frothy about the visiting fans from Canada.  I’ve really got no beef with them, and I also don’t think it says anything negative about Buffalo fans that so many Canadians get their mitts on tickets (except for maybe that Buffalonians are pretty crafty about finding ways to pay for their seasons.  Go us!).  But there is one type of visiting fan that I HATE.  I freaking LOATHE the visiting fans who stand up during play and turn around to mock the Sabres fans surrounding them.  I mean, honestly – that’s just bad manners.  (And I’ll also say, I have NO DOUBT that Sabres fans behave poorly in other arenas.  All I’m saying is that I would never do the stand-up-and-taunt-the-home-fans WHILE PLAY IS GOING ON.  I would not do this because I am not a caveman.)

So, while I wish (most of) the visiting fans no ill will, having them there, and watching them walk out all dejected made that win so much more fun. Ole oleoleole……

4. Alright, I’m really not sure what to do about the car flag now.  Last night when it looked like the Sabres were headed to certain, humiliating defeat, Mike Harrington accused me via Twitter of cursing the Sabres with my early car flag installation.  I bravely held my ground, but I’ll admit, I was rattled.  I did put the flag on a tad early.

But then the Sabres won!  In hilarious fashion (my favorite kind of win)!

I feel like the Hockey Gods sent me some seriously mixed messages last night, and I’m totally confused.  Did the Sabres miraculously win in spite of the car flag, or, did the car flag actually propel them to hilarious victory?

I just want to do the right thing here, and then I want to stick to The System.

I need your help.

I’ll do whatever you guys tell me to do.

Part Four

Dear Sabres,

Two years ago, my aunt Mary (who lives in Minnesota) bought me a car flag for Christmas.  She actually emailed Heather B. in order to figure out which Sabres-related trinket I would like the most, and the two of them nailed it.  I love this car flag.

I think car flags are incredibly charming, but, I think of car flags as a playoff thing.  Car flags are for the spring, when hopes are the highest, and when it’s still sunny as you walk towards the arena for a 7pm game.

I feel so strongly that car flags are a playoff thing that as soon as I opened this gift, I thought to myself, “I’m not using this until the Sabres make the playoffs.  I don’t care how many years it has to sit in a drawer.”

Sabres, I know you haven’t quite made the playoffs yet, and I know I’m a little early on this, but I don’t care. Today I went out in the sunshine, and I put my playoff flag on the car, and it felt like my Sabres fandom came full circle.

I fell in love with the Sabres during their last playoff appearance.  This time, I’ll be well accessorized.

Sabres, you should try very hard to win this game tonight.  I’ll be at the game, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy towards you already. A nice pleasant win would absolutely hit the spot.

Let’s celebrate Playoff Car Flag Day in style.

Love,

Kate


…A Blog About the Buffalo Sabres

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In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Willful Caboose uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey my criticism and inform the public of the Sabres' suckitude/badassitude (whatever the case may be). Photos on The Willful Caboose are used without permission, but do not interfere with said owner's profit. If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail me (willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com) and I will be more than happy willing to oblige. (Special thanks to The Pensblog for their help with this disclaimer.)

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