7 Things: Special HAHAHAHAHA Kovalchuk Edition

1. That game was awesome. It was sloppy and fun and both teams looked like they were really trying even though both teams looked liked they’re not that good at hockey. Great fun. I know it’s easy to say after a win, but I SWEAR (on the head of Lindy Ruff) that I would’ve been raving about that game even if the Sabres had lost.

2. But they DIDN’T lose! They won! Which means the Sabres are now streaking and that they will never lose again (as long as they always play the Devils and that Kovalchuk is always inexplicably mesmerized by Enroth’s steely gaze and he always totally whiffs on the puck in the shootout). Somewhere, Darcy Regier just smiled wryly and mumbled, “I love it when a super-mega-patient plan comes together.”

3. Can we PLEASE stop talking about how great Lindy is now? Congratulations on 1,000 games, Lindy Ruff!

Okay, okay. 1,000 games with one team is a major accomplishment, and seriously, congrats Lindy. For all the smack I’ve talked about him on this blog, you have to be deaf, blind, AND mean-spirited not to see that Lindy is a pretty cool dude.

However, I’m sure I’m not the only Sabres fan who has found this day a little *sing-song voice* awwwkwaaaard. For the first time in his tenure, Lindy’s effectiveness is being called into question, and then today we all had to stop the, “WHY have the Sabres had the same coach for 13 years?!” conversation and celebrate Lindy’s (very real) achievement. It was just kind of bad timing. I made a joke on Twitter today that if Lindy was really such a great coach he would have found a way to coach his 1,000th game LAST season, when the team spent the whole year at the top of the standings, instead of this season, when Sabres fans are so desperate for wins we’re jumping for joy just because Kovalchuk can’t keep his eye on the puck in the shootout. Instead, we spent the whole day hearing and reading “1000 games” and thinking, “Yeeeeeah, I’m not so sure those 1,000 games were the most healthy thing for the organization, but…okay….Yay Lindy!”

I’m not saying that Lindy doesn’t deserve to be honored, and I’m not saying he’s not the Truest True Sabre that ever was, I’m just saying this would have been a LOT more fun if the Sabres weren’t so stinky.

4. But the Sabres aren’t stinky anymore. Now they rock! WOOOOOO! TWO WINS IN A ROW!!!!

5. The following people seem like nice guys, but I’m not sure they should ever get to play hockey as Sabres again: Patrick Lalime and Craig Rivet

6. I’m not sure if it’s the Sabres fault, or MSG’s fault, but it is absolutely atrocious that we have to watch the Devils feed during intermissions. WHAT ARE WE, ANIMALS?

7. This has nothing to do with that game, but I’ve been on a weeks-long hunt for the perfect apple, and I believe I’ve found it. The perfect apple is……an EMPIRE APPLE! Empire apples have all of the qualities of a good apple. Not too huge, nice and sweet, and most importantly, very crunchy. (By “crunchy” I mean texturally crunchy, not reminiscent of Ryan Miller.)

I’ve had this problem for years where I can’t ever remember which apples I like, and so this year I very methodically purchased lots of different apples and then kept NOTES (like an apple-nerd) on which ones I liked. So, I feel confident that Empire apples actually ARE the best apples in the world. 1st Runner up: Fujis. I also loved the texture and crunch of the Honey Crisp, but sadly, it didn’t have enough flavor. (So close, Honey Crisp. Keep trying! Maybe next year.)

I’m pretty sure there are a bunch of hideously gross red apples that I didn’t even bother trying because when I poked them with my thumb at Wegmans they were obviously too soft, but the worst apple I tried was a Granny Smith. Those green grannies are waaaay too sour. I’m not really into “sour” as a flavor, but maybe that’s just me.

Congratulations, Empire. You win.

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11 Responses to “7 Things: Special HAHAHAHAHA Kovalchuk Edition”


  1. 1 Sharpie November 11, 2010 at 8:02 am

    Granny Smiths aren’t really meant to be just eaten; when it comes to baking the Granny Smith is the best kind of apples. My personal preference in apples is the honey crisp followed by the golden delicious.

  2. 2 Schnookie November 11, 2010 at 9:41 am

    I’m so happy for you that you found your apple! Apples, for all that they SEEM really basic, are totally tricky that way, aren’t they? We found the most amazing apple in Dallas, the Cox’s Orange Pippin, and man, I’d eat TONS more apples if those weren’t a hard-to-find, weird heirloom variety. (We planted a tree for that type several years ago, but realistically, there will never be fruit from it.) Perhaps I need to investigate this Empire a bit more closely! (Actually, I think we have an Empire tree, too…)

    I have nothing to say about the game last night that wasn’t summed up perfectly by the Marty/Zach/Josefson peanut gallery. Heh.

  3. 3 Jimmy K November 11, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    You can shout about Lindy being fired and Vanek being a slag faced whore and how the team will never win again but don’t you dare bad mouth granny smith and her apples! They are natures candy! Their incredibly crispy, just the right amount of tart to give the space between your jaw and your neck “sour pinches” and their green. Green, i say. Enough said.

  4. 4 Matt November 11, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Anybody else think that Kovy (in fact most of both teams) looked a lot like a Timbits game?

    Also, us “animals” happen to hate Steve Cangialosi as much as you do.

  5. 5 SueInVA November 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Re: #6

    I watch on Center Ice. So whenever the Sabres play the Rangers, Islanders or Devils I have the “fun” of having to listen to their announcers. The guy working with Emerk last night was just awful.

  6. 6 CrotchetyOriginalSam November 14, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Wait. Why do you have to watch the Devils’ feed at intermission? Are the Sabres actually too cheap to pay for a studio crew? Minnesota’s intermissions feature a cast of thousands (none of whom actually have anything intelligent to say, mind you, but it does look expensive to produce.)

    Was MSG taking the Devils’ feed of the play-by-play, too?

  7. 7 Katebits November 14, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Sam, the Devils, Rangers, Sabres and I think the Islanders all broadcast their games on MSG. As you can imagine, the Sabres are the ugly stepchildren in this situation. So, whenever we play one of those teams, MSG uses the same feed for both broadcasts. I’ve never been entirely clear on who the real culprit is in terms of giving us this shitty product (Sabres or MSG), but I suspect most of the fault actually falls with MSG. This is the first year we’ve had all of our away games broadcast in HD, and it’s my understanding that the Sabres fought hard for HD with MSG. In fact (maybe some Devils fans could back me up), I think the Devils STILL see some of their away games in low def. So, the Sabres signed a crappy contract with a crappy network, but it’s MSG that is responsible for the feed issues. BUT, I think it’s the Sabres who are too cheap to send a real broadcast crew to away games. I dunno. It’s a mystery. An ANNOYING mystery. During Sabres games half of the commercials are for NYC-area events. We watch commercials for, like, the KNICKS.

  8. 8 Sam November 14, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I am a total Empire Apple SNOB. I will not tolerate any inferior apples in my diet. (and by “inferior”, I mean anything that’s not an Empire). Well not quite, Cortland apples are tolerable, only because they like a less tasty but still palatable Empire. Also reasonable is a Jonathan apple, but regardless of what the internet might say, they are very hard to find in stores or markets.

    For realz, I never liked apples until I had an Empire apple. :) And now they are the only ones I really like.

  9. 9 CrotchetyOriginalSam November 14, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    I don’t think MSG can use the excuse that all those teams broadcast on the same network, though, because in reality, while the MSG you see in Buffalo has the same name as the MSG in New York/New Jersey, it’s actually a completely different channel owned by the same company. That company chose to make Rangers and Devils games look pretty and HD while leaving Buffalo squinting for the puck for years. That you’re deprived of Rick Jeannerett at their whim too is ridiculous.

    We had a similar situation up here for years, with Minneapolis and Milwaukee “sharing” a regional sportsnet called Fox Sports North, which in reality was two separate channels, one for the MSP market and one for Milwaukee. Milwaukee didn’t get Twins or T-Wolves games (though I think they got some of the Wild, since there’s no NHL team in Wisconsin,) and we didn’t get the Brewers or Bucks. If they had ever tried to foist out-of-town announcers on us, they probably would have been strung up.

  10. 10 Dave in Rocha-->DC November 16, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    Empires FTW! Soft apples blow hard.

  11. 11 CourtneySF November 16, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    I will have to keep an eye out for Empires, though that sounds like a New York thing. My favorite apple is the Jazz apple. It is crisp, crunchy, and delish, so I know you will like it too. My mother informs me that the very most delicious are a new Minnesota apple called Sweet Tango, but I have yet to see them here in Big Texas.


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