NOT COOL, GUYS.

I had the intention of doing a big long post today about Darcy Regier.  I might still write that post, but I’ve been temporarily halted by a completely disturbing discovery.

Here at The Willful Caboose Headquarters, I do the research for my brainier posts in one of two ways.  I either google things in the form of a question, (Example: “Is Darcy Reiger as dumb and/or as smart as he looks?”), and if that doesn’t work, I usually just make shit up.   My post today was going to be super brainy, believe you me.  Like, mega suuuuper brainy.

I had some questions about Darcy’s trade history and what it might tell us about how he’ll proceed on Monday.  So, first I googled, “Everyone is constantly bringing up the fact that Darcy traded for Briere and Drury as evidence of Darcy’s mad trading skillz, but they always gloss over the fact that the Sabres missed the playoffs for the first two years that both of those guys were on the team.  Of course, that doesn’t detract from the awesomeness of those trades, but it DOES raise the question- Is Darcy capable of turning the Sabres around quickly?”

That google search turned up diddly-poo.  At first I thought it might be time to shift into the “just make shit up” portion of my research, but I decided to go the extra mile in an effort to make my suuuper-mega-brainy post extra legit.  I decided to google Chris Drury and Daniel Briere.  Truthfully, I wasn’t totally positive about that whole, “The Sabres missed the playoffs for the first two years that both Drury and Briere were on the team,” claim.  I thought it wouldn’t hurt to double check.

So, first I googled, Daniel Briere.  I learned that he was a deadline acquisition in 2003.  So, that means he WAS on the team when the Sabres missed the playoffs in both 2003, and 2004.  So far the facts were backing up my claim.

Then, I google Chris Drury.  And this is where I made a TOTALLY HORRIFYING DISCOVERY.

Seriously, you guys?  SERIOUSLY?!  WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH US?

Yes, that’s right.  When you google, “Chris Drury,” the drop down menu provides “Chris Drury back to Buffalo,” AS AN AUTO-FILL.   What this means is that so many people have actually googled, “Chris Drury back to Buffalo,” that now Google just FILLS IT IN AS A HELPFUL TIME SAVER.

This discovery has completely derailed my research because now I’m just sitting here on the couch feeling vaguely embarrassed. I don’t want to write about the history of the Sabres anymore today. I don’t even want to think about the history of the Sabres anymore today.

Buffalo, we need to take a long, hard look in the mirror.  Constantly looking backwards is… I just… I MEAN, COME ON.  This is Chris Drury we’re talking about.

I want to move forward, and I suspect you do too.  So, let’s take baby steps.  We can do it together.  First step: We’re going to stop googling Chris Drury.  All of us.  We can do this, you guys.   Cold turkey.

We’re never ever ever ever ever ever going to google Chris Drury for fun again.  Ever.

If, for some reason I wind up needing to google Chris Drury for a TOTALLY LEGIT bloggy-type reason, I BETTER not find “Chris Drury back to Buffalo,” in the drop down menu again.  DO YOU HEAR ME, BUFFALO?

Here is an example of an acceptable drop down Google menu:

100% awesome, and not at all embarrassing (at least not for us).

9 Responses to “NOT COOL, GUYS.”


  1. 1 scottymcss February 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    HAHA! Very amusing. Still, Regier did help build the ’99 team, and also the ’05-’06 team.

    We can’t blame Darcy for Brett Hull’s foot, or Jay McKee’s leg.

    Go (current) SABRES (of late)!!!!

  2. 2 Chris February 25, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Maybe the solution is to overload the Chris Drury Google search with something new so this new search eventually ranks higher than “Chris Drury back to Buffalo.”

    New game: We all google something like “Chris Drury frozen pizza” five time an hour for the next month and work to make that the first auto-fill.

  3. 3 Chris February 25, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Also, the team was pretty bad that year they got Briere. Lindy has said that acquiring him helped save his job. Then they underachieved a bit in Drury’s first year but you could at least tell they were on the upswing (but how fast they climbed after the lockout was still very surprising).

  4. 4 Katebits February 25, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    I actually didn’t intend for this post to make quite that strong a point about Darcy. There is no way to dispute that both acquisitions were totally awesome. I spent some time today trying to figure out how long Darcy has to prove his stuff, and honestly, I think he probably has to have quicker results than he got with the co-captains. Of course you’re right though- the Sabres are definitely closer to being contenders now then they were back then. So a few wise moves this summer really could make a huge difference almost immediately.

    My mega brainy post about Darcy was going to be very fair and balanced. :D

  5. 5 Heather B. February 25, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    If you click on “Chris Drury back to Buffalo” this post comes up on the first page, Kate. You’re feeding the beast!

  6. 6 Katebits February 25, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT HEATHER! This is TERRIBLE!

  7. 7 Alex February 25, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    I love your blog but I never comment for some reason. Anyway, I think you’re hilarious.

    I will never get over that trade. I can’t tell you how many times I have drank too much and bring it up in conversation only to start getting belligerent. What can I say? I’m still angry about it. I know other Sabres fans who feel the same way. It is true they didn’t make the playoffs those first two years years with them. My disgust over that stupid trade always gets in the way of me realizing that.

    I still miss Danny. Chris Drury, not so much. I think it’s just because I hate the Rangers a tiny bit more than the Flyers.

  8. 8 Katebits February 27, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    Hey, thanks for reading and chiming in, Alex! I’m with you, the Rangers are grosser than the Flyers.


  1. 1 The Mike Weber Watch | buffalo74 Trackback on February 26, 2011 at 7:55 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




…A Blog About the Buffalo Sabres

Observations 2
I can be reached at: willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com

For All Your Facebook “Needs”

Categories

puck goggles
In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Willful Caboose uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey my criticism and inform the public of the Sabres' suckitude/badassitude (whatever the case may be). Photos on The Willful Caboose are used without permission, but do not interfere with said owner's profit. If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail me (willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com) and I will be more than happy willing to oblige. (Special thanks to The Pensblog for their help with this disclaimer.)

Pages


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 67 other followers

%d bloggers like this: