Every Game Is Like a Snowflake: Horrible and/or Awesome In Its Own Unique Way

Last night, before the Canadiens game:

Sigh.  I’ve had a rough day already.  I don’t think I can handle a Sabres loss with grace tonight, especially if the game has the slightest tinge of oopsies-we-crapped-our-pants-instead-of-winning to it.  It’s not that the Preds game bothered me that much (I erased it from my accepted reality banks, after-all), but… I just can’t deal tonight.

Maybe I’ll listen to the game on the radio instead of watching it on tv.  That seems safe.  Or, I know!  I’ll wait until 7:30 to start cooking dinner, that way I’ll be occupied during a lot of the first period.  Or, I could start calling people and inviting them over to my house so I don’t end up watching a stinker alone.  Games are always less painful with friendies nearby.  The absolute ONE thing I must MAKE SURE I do not do is sit down in front of the television alone and with my laptop open to Twitter.  I’m just not up for that tonight.

At 7:30, on the nose:

Hm.  I seem to be sitting in the comfy chair in front of the television with my dinner fully prepared, repeatedly clicking “refresh” on Twitter.  This is exactly the situation I was trying to avoid.  I get an “F” at avoiding easily avoidable situations.

After the 1st:

Hey, the Sabres look pretty good!  I’m proud of them for coming out all orderly and non-sucky after their stunning collapse against the Preds.  I kind of wish the Sabres had scored on one of those 45 power plays though.  But whatevs.  Crunchy looks good so far.

After the 2nd (1-0, Sabres):

Dude. This game is intense. How about Tenacious G! He’s unstoppable. It’s fun to see a guy come alive like this, especially one we’d all written off.  Good work, lil’ Gerbs.  We’re sorry we tried to leave you for dead earlier this season.

I am a liiiiittle worried that the game is only 1-0.  The Sabres would’ve been wise to score more goals.  I am SO not in the mood to listen to people bitch on Twitter about how Miller lost this game even though the forwards only scored one goal.  I’m not saying I think Ryan Miller is incapable of shutting out the Habs, I’m just saying it’s a bad “Plan A”.  Let’s see if we can’t score Crunchy some more goals, m’kay boys?

I really want them to win. I really, really want them to win.  I think I might actually cry if they lose.

I’m scared, fragile, and alone, with only Twitter for companionship.  THIS IS EXACTLY THE SITUATION I WAS TRYING TO AVOID.

During the 3rd

This is scary.

THIS IS REALLY FUCKING SCARY.

I’m going to PUKE!  I’m jumping around!  I’m yelling at no one! When did the regular season get this stressful?!

To Ryan Miller: You can do it!  I believe in you!
To everyone else on the team: HE CANNOT DO THIS, YOU GUYS!  YOU HAVE TO SCORE MORE GOALS.  ARGH!  SCORE A GOAL!  SCORE A GOAL!  SCCOOOOOORE ANOTHER GOAL!  *BARF*

THIS GAME IS KILLING ME. IT’S TORTUROUS. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE SITUATION I WAS TRYING TO AVOID.  I DID NOT NEED A GAME THIS STRESSFUL TONIGHT. IF THEY DO NOT WIN THIS GAME I THINK I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.

After Tenacious D scored his righteous empty net goal (2-0, Sabres): WOOOOOOOOO!!  TENACIOUS G is the greatest Sabre EVER!  WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

30 seconds after Gerbe’s empty net goal:

Oh god.  It’s the dreaded two goal lead.  Come on you little bastards, you only have to hold on to this two goal lead for 30 seconds…. IF THIS TURNS OUT TO BE A RYAN MILLER SHUTOUT, OR THEY FIND SOME WAY TO GIVE UP A TWO GOAL LEAD IN 30 SECONDS I AM NEVER WATCHING HOCKEY AGAIN.  I REALLY MEAN IT.  NEVER!

30 seconds later, at the end (2-0, Sabres)

WOOOOOOO!  Hockey is so wonderful and I love it so much.  This game was horrible, beginning to end, but it was totally worth it in every way because now I am filled with a sense of well being and smug peacefulness.  My hockey team is wonderful, and I will sleep well tonight.

The next morning:

I would suggest that winning a game like the Sabres did last night is the best case scenario after a meltdown like the Predators game.  Sure, it would’ve been fun to see them score 8 goals again, but I’ll be honest, those big blowouts make me a little nervous.  It’s fun when it’s easy, but it’s not actually as convincing.  Give me a hard-fought, intelligently played chess game if you want to convince me that you’re mentally tough.  The Sabres were genuinely impressive last night.  Miller looked great, but the team was brilliant in front of him.  Crunchy didn’t have to work that hard, because the Habs were never allowed to gather any steam. 

But I stand by my assertion that that game was torturous.  This shit is getting stressful.  I, for one, am grateful for a few days sans-Sabres.

So, congratulations on your nearly perfect road game, Sabres!  Now, please leave me alone for a few days.  Thank you.

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5 Responses to “Every Game Is Like a Snowflake: Horrible and/or Awesome In Its Own Unique Way”


  1. 1 Grrrreg March 23, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    I didn’t watch it (because of that stupid time difference), and I only saw the highlights this morning. I don’t know if they’re a good reflection of the game, but it was ALL Sabres… So well, your guys were better than mine and deserved their win I guess. By the way I’m ALSO happy this didn’t turn out to be a blowout… ;)

    I’m glad for Gerbe though. We have so many tiny guys on our team that it’s nice to be remembered that there are also a few of them playing on OTHER teams too.

  2. 2 Katebits March 23, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    I do think the Sabres dominated a bit more than the score indicated. Price played very well, and the Sabres did a great job of protecting Miller.

    Habs fans and Sabres fans are brothers in “tiny guy” solidarity.

  3. 3 ToonTom March 23, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    This game was an example of why Lindy is such a great coach. He got the team to forget about Sunday’s horrid loss and had them focus on how to shut down Montreal’s speedy offense. They played almost perfectly and Gerbe was a treat to watch. That was the most effort I’ve seen put into a empty netter is some time.

  4. 4 Ivan Wolin March 23, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    i love your blog i am a huge fan

  5. 5 Kris March 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Crunchy has gone from a sissy mary with his panties in a wad, stomping off like someone goosed him on the playground to a very studly shutout, worthy of being a deodorant spokesman! What a difference a day or two makes!!


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