Here is my recap of yesterday’s game.
1st Period
Redonk shenanigans.
One of the weirdest phenomenons of hockey is that sometimes when two teams play truly terribly, the hockey winds up being super fun. The first period was one of those times. Crunchy was pretty bad, as was the team defense, but we almost didn’t mind because everything else was borderline hilarious. (3-3 tie)
2nd Period
WTF, Sabres?
The Sabres were so stupid in the second period that it’s completely reasonable to assume they all took bong hits during the 1st intermission. Thankfully, the Flyers also apparently took bong hits because they only converted on one of their 3498439728349098 power plays. (5-3, Flyers. But for realz, the score could’ve been 10-3.)
3rd period:
The Sabres seriously almost came back. Which is absurd. (5-4 Flyers, final score.)
Preliminary Analysis: The Flyers won because they were sliiiiightly less incompetent than the Sabres. But only slightly. It was basically a toss-up. The good news is that there’s been exactly zero evidence in this series that the Sabres can’t hang with the Flyers. The bad news is that the Sabres basically lost the game for themselves and if they had played this game with only one or two brain cells they could be coming home with a 2-0 series lead.
What we’ve learned: It’s hillllllarious when Goose upends Briere for no apparent reason at the face-off dot. Also, the Sabres and the Flyers appear to be almost the exact same level of awesome/lame. But, when both teams play nearly perfectly, the Sabres win, and when both teams play terribly, the Flyers win.
Final Analysis: The Sabres are slightly better at being really good, and the Flyers are slightly better at being really terrible. I’ll take it.
Mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Suck it, Flyers!
Did you read an explanation as to why Hartnell was not penalized for the jersey thing? I thought they were supposed to be thrown out of the game for not having their jersey tied down. They call 80 billion penalties but the one that’s not subjective AT ALL, they decide eh, we’ll let that one slide.
NO! I never heard anything about it. I’m half assuming that Goose is some sort of wizard at unhooking those things because whenever he fights he’s got his opponent’s jersey up over their head in no time flat. Goose is smooth that way.
That rule is almost never called. The player always just claims that the had it secured, but the snap didn’t snap.
On the Philly broadcast, they actually got into why Hartnell wasn’t penalized in detail, because the Flyers’ crew was sure he was going to be. There was no penalty called because his tie-down was visibly still attached, but the jersey tore loose from it.
On another note, it looked pretty clear from the replay that the reason Gaustad clobbered Briere was because Danny stepped across the dot when he thought the puck was being dropped and more or less threw his shoulder into Goose’s chest. If I was a big guy like Gaustad, I suspect I’d get a little tired of midgets assuming they can just constantly hurl their joints at me and not get called for it because they’re wee.
As I read this series so far, the Flyers have sucked for two consecutive games. The Sabres have sucked for one of two. But it’s all good, because I’m making homemade poutine and having guests over for Game 3. (Only one of said guests will be rooting for Buffalo, and he will be persistently booed by his own 3-year-old daughter as a result.) There’s basically no way Philly can lose.
Sam, our broadcasting crew has taken a SHARP turn for the senile (possibly drunk?) lately and we heard none of that on our feed.
I’m not afraid of your poutine because the jersey has my back. And any child that is being raised to cheer for the Flyers when the Sabres are an option has my complete sympathy. I’m not afraid of her either.
I’m not afraid of your poutine because the jersey has my back.
Assuming, of course, that the jersey still exists. I seem to recall suggesting otherwise.
And any child that is being raised to cheer for the Flyers when the Sabres are an option has my complete sympathy. I’m not afraid of her either.
You should be. She’s got skillz.
No, I don’t think you understand how this works. That child is half Sabres fan, so even though she *thinks* she’s rooting for the Flyers, somewhere deep inside of her beats the heart of a Buffalonian. It’s exactly like your jersey. It can’t be killed. Once the goodness has been activated, it’s unstoppable. So, you sad sad Flyers fans can eat your poutine, hell you might even win this series!, but without even realizing it, you’re both doing your part to contribute to the eventual rise of the Sabres. And when we win it all, the skies will open, and a heavenly glow will shine down upon us, and the Hockey Gods will ask, “Who did you cheer for?” And THAT is when your Sabres fandom will be finally revealed. “Sabres,” you will say, “I always rooted for the Sabres.” And you won’t be lying.
Amen.
……………………..
…oh.
Thank you for accepting defeat so gracefully, Sam.
Despite your disdain for analysis, I think you got it spot on for this series Katebits. As long as Buffalo plays even half sober, they will win.