I’m going to do something different with this blog this offseason. I’m going to close up shop for the summer. I can honestly tell you I’ve spent roughly three minutes thinking about the Sabres in the last three weeks.
I spent one minute thinking about them after it became clear that the Lightning were about to sweep the Caps. (“DAMN I wish the Sabres could’ve gotten a piece of those sadsack Caps,” I thought.)
I spent a minute thinking about the Sabres when I watched a period of the US/Norway Worlds game. (“Hey look,” I said to myself, “there’s Goose! … and there he is again! Hi Goose! HEY GOOSE! Goose, look over here! It’s me, Kate! From Buffalo! HONK! HONK! HONK!”)
And I spent a minute thinking about the Sabres after I finally got bored enough to sit down and watch Darcy and the Gang’s post-season exit press conference. (FYI, Darcy seems to be pissed off about Crunchy’s goalie mask, and during the press conference he basically accused Crunchy of wearing a sub-standard mask. To me that’s interesting and dishy. I’m pretty sure at the beginning of last season, Darcy was all, “Hey Crunchy, you need to wear this helmet so you don’t get a concussion,” and Crunchy was all, “No way, Darcy! That helmet makes my head look fat. I want to wear this helmet! The kitten can whisper in my ear to warn me when the puck is coming so I’ll never get hit in the head.” Either way, Darcy seemed incredibly irked about Crunchy’s concussion. I look forward to the continuation of Mask-Gate.)
But other than those three things, I really haven’t given the Sabres much thought recently.
One of the things that I really took away from this season is the realization that I’m happiest when I accept the Sabres at face value, and then move on with my life. I can’t bear the thought of spending the summer trying to scrap together posts about whether or not the Sabres should re-sign Drew Stafford, Steve Montador and Tim Connolly. (Answer: yes, maybe, and no. See? It took, like, 10 keystrokes to answer that question. How the hell could I possibly blog about that for five months?)
So, in lieu of one half-hearted post per week, I’m going to take an indefinite break. I’ll probably make a reappearance around July 1st depending on how interesting and/or lame free agency winds up being for the Sabres.
I’ll leave with the following Prayer for the Offseason,
Oh, Mighty Hockey Gods. Thank you for a blessed and wonderful 2010/11 Sabres season. Seriously, that was rad. It would’ve been fun if they had gone farther in the playoffs, but whatever. That’s life. All in all it was a great season, and my love for the franchise has grown. Thank you almighty Hockey Gods for bringing us Terry Pegula and Ted Black, and thank you for making the previously lame-looking Sabres suddenly and inexplicably, awesome-looking.
Please hear my prayer for the 2011 Sabres offseason.
Please guide Darcy Regier’s hand so that he may keep the awesomest Sabres and trade the lame ones.
Please confuse the other GMs in the league so that they happily trade their best players to the Sabres in exchange for the bargaining rights to Tim Connolly and Patrick Lalime. (And since he came up, PLEASE Almighty Hockey Gods, do NOT let the Sabres re-sign Patrick Lalime. This request seems almost silly, because NO ONE with half a brain cell would re-sign Lalime at this point, but Almighty Hockey Gods, WE’VE BEEN BURNED BEFORE. We can never be too careful when it comes to the back-up goalie position and the Buffalo Sabres. It’s best to pray first, and ask questions later.)
Please heal the injured Sabres.
And along those lines, please provide Ryan Miller with enough minor daily annoyances that he comes back to Buffalo next season cranky enough to do his job well.
Please help Darcy to draft some tasty prospects.
Please let all the best free agents want to come to Buffalo.
Please let Drew Stafford either be awesome or be lame, once and for all. If he’s going to be awesome, please let him sign a reasonable, long-term contract with the Sabres, and if he’s going to be lame, please let him sign an UNreasonable and hilariously long contract with one of our enemies.
I don’t even know how to pray for Jochen Hecht. Just… fix him, please.
Please let Zach Parise and Joe Pavelski become Sabres somehow.
Please infuse Lindy Ruff with energy, and new, exciting ideas for how to coach. If he’s going to be the coach for life, he’s got to mix it up every few years. Last year he seemed really invigorated by the Olympics, maybe this summer he should climb Mt. Everest, or spend a month in a monastery praying to the Hockey Gods. I dunno. Just please keep Lindy feisty and in love with hockey.
Please make sure that Terry Pegula has tons and tons of fun owning the Sabres. A happy Terry Pegula is good for everyone.
Please make sure that Ted Black is showered with the adoration and monetary rewards that he deserves. Maybe he should get his own radio show or something. I could be his adorable co-host, you know, if you wanted. And Hockey Gods, if you made a Ted Black Trapper Keeper, I would TOTALLY buy it. Just saying.
And finally, please Almighty Hockey Gods, make my flower gardens grow big and strong. This has nothing to do with the Sabres, but it would make me very happy.
Have a good summer, Sabres fans!
Let’s go Buff-a-lo!