Thank You Miss A!

A few weeks ago I got the BEST little note in my locker at work from a high school student whose orchestra was playing at Kleinhans. This girl noticed my locker and took it upon herself to write an incredibly sweet note (written on back of a “tuning tendencies” worksheet) for me to find the next day. I’m in the process of reorganizing my office stuff, and I found the note on a stack of papers. It was just as lovely to read today as it was a few weeks ago. I should have done this sooner, but I want to send a hearty thank you to “Miss A” (I’m not going to publish your name on my blog because I don’t have your permission and because I know you are in high school. I’ll err on the side of caution here, but I assume you’ll recognize yourself!) Your note made my day. There are a lot of reasons I love writing a Sabres blog, but getting awesome notes in my locker from badass-hockey-loving-musicians is very near the tippy top of the list.

Thank you, kind reader!

It’s Nathan Gerbe Appreciation Day!

Last night, a wee little fella was named “Most Valuable Fella in the Frozen Four”. The good news for us is that this wee fella, Nathan Gerbe, is a Sabres prospect! Hooray! He is only 3′7″, so he is in fact, quite wee, but I’m assured that he is very feisty.

In honor of our pint-sized collegiate hero, today is Nathan Gerbe Appreciation Day!

Our cupboards in Rochester are bare. We barely have any Pirate’s Booty in there, much less tasty prospects. Let’s get this wee fella signed to a rookie contract posthaste.

He’s totally tall enough, you jerks.

In honor of Nathan Gerbe Appreciation Day, I would like to present Mr. Gerbe with this matching linemate/sidekick……

Gerber (that’s surely what he’s called, right?) and Roy-Z shall be like two tiny peas in a pod.

…….and this picture of Bucky Gleason:

Just trust me on this one, Gerbs.

Happy Nathan Gerbe Appreciation Day, everyone! Drive safely!

Thomas Vanek Appreciation Day!

It’s Thomas Vanek Appreciation Day!

Aww. Our little slag-faced whore is growing up so fast! I have to admit, I wasn’t sure this day would ever come, but today we celebrate and give thanks for one Mr. Thomas Vanek.

All season long the Sabres’ interviews have been all about “leadership blah blah blah inconsistent blah blaaah blech blah HONK blah streakystreakstreak blahblah leadership leadership leadership.” Then one day, Vanek was all, “Fuck this. We’re getting into the playoffs, SO SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE BUCKY GLEASON, ” and then, just like the bearded fella in the Men’s Warehouse commercials, he turned to the camera pointed his finger and said, “Buffalo fans, come playoff time, you’re going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.” (Okay, that’s not exactly what he said, but that’s what he meant. I’m sure of it.)

Listen, for most of the season, Vanek has been grimacing his way right into the TWC doghouse, but I’m nothing if not forgiving, especially when a dude scores three goals in four minutes to erase a deficit and win the game.  The Willful Caboose is all about giving credit where credit is due.  (In fact, I might owe Tim Connolly a tiny apology.  It’s too soon to tell.)  Thomas Vanek was nothing short of dazzling last night.  He was bewitching.  He stepped up to the plate, and then he picked the plate up and threw it into the Lightning goal.  It would be insane to expect this kind of play with any regularity, but last night Thomas Vanek made me perk up and reset the bar for the rest of the season.

Depending on what happens with Soupy this week, certain people are going to try to tell us that the future of the Buffalo Sabres looks grim. I think Thomas Vanek would beg to differ. Today is Thomas Vanek Appreciation Day in honor of the guy we have locked up for the next seven (hopefully awesome) seasons.

Henrik Tallinder Appreciation Day!

It’s Henrik Tallinder Appreciation Day!

This celebration has been brewing for quite some time. Hank is pretty unassuming, so it’s easy to overlook him, but I want to make sure you’re aware that it’s been years since Hank was last involved in an unseemly Swedish sex scandal, and months since he last had his arm broken. Not only has he been skeletally fit and sexually law-abiding, but he’s been quietly rocking our world with his sound defensive play. Recently, out of NO WHERE, Lindy stuck him in the shootout and he hilariously undressed Marty Brodeur, thus revealing some hitherto unrecognized offensive prowess. Basically, Hank is a stud. You know it, I know it, and HeatherB wrote the book about it; but until today, we didn’t have the statbits to make our case. How do you quantify the awesomeness of a stay-at-home defenseman? I have no idea, but I know someone who does: Acclaimed blogger and statbit analyzer, James Mirtle, has published a list of the top defensive defenseman in the league. Guess who’s at the tippy-top of his list? HANK! What does it all mean? Who cares! I’m drunk on glögg, and it’s Henrik Tallinder Appreciation Day!

In honor of Hank Tallinder Appreciation Day, I would like to present Hank with this IKEA cabinet to house his Appreciation Day trophy and all the other trophies I’m certain his responsible defensive play will earn him over the course of his career……

Some assembly required

…..and this bottle of calcium:

You can never have too much healthy bones.

HeatherB Appreciation Day!

It’s HeatherB Appreciation Day!

World famous blogger, and undisputed Sabres authority, HeatherB, suffered a devastating injury last week. She was attacked by an evil patch of black ice, which caused her to fall and practically break her ankle clean off. There are many totally lame consequences to having your ankle brutally violated by black ice, but the worst one seems to be that you’re not allowed to attend the Ice Bowl. Poor, Heather!

Heather’s husband, MarkB (in a saintly display of solidarity), has decided not to attend the Ice Bowl either; which leaves them with two Ice Bowl tickets to spare. They could sell them for a nice profit, but because they are very good people, hockey lovers, and friends, they have offered them to ME! That’s right! I’m going to the Ice Bowl, baby! (Where I’m sure I will be miserably cold and unhappy. I’ll probably spend the entire time wishing I was in my nice warm home…..with my ankle elevated.)

I am so excited! (But I’m also sure that the Ice Bowl will be totally boring and ultimately disappointing. People who don’t have tickets or who are otherwise disposed should be feeling extremely relieved.) I’m so touched that the B family thinks I’m a worthy recipient of the tickets. I promise to uphold the values of the B’s, by holding a sign that says “Tally Ho” with an arrow pointed down at myself for the entire Ice Bowl. Hank shouldn’t be deprived of his support system just because Heather’s ankle has been compromised.

In honor of HeatherB Appreciation Day, I would like to present Heather with this megaphone:

“Mark! I’m bored and I can’t reach the remote. Also, my ankle hurts and my tea is tepid! Mark!”

 

….and, of course, the highest award that can be bestowed upon a fallen blogger, The Heather Cup:

Each year, the names of bloggers who have shown remarkable courage and generosity in the face of intense assitude are engraved on the Heather Cup. Both Heather and Mark will have a full day to eat cereal/yogurt raisins/margaritas out of the Cup.

Pommerdoodle Appreciation Day!

First, press play on this video and let it set the mood as you read this post.

It’s Pommerdoodle Appreciation Day!

This song was on Jason Pominville’s Player Playlist last night. Someone asked him what songs he wanted played at the arena on game day, and he chose this.

I know. It’s out of control.

It’s amazing the teenage girls in attendance at the game last night survived this brush with such deadly cuddliness. Thank God this song is in French. If the girls had been able to understand the lyrics, there would have certainly been a epidemic of swooning from the balconies at HSBC.

Jason Pominville is adorabe, and I defy you to find a more pleasantly appealing guy in the NHL. I’m convinced that he sleeps on a bed of clouds, and that he writes his girlfriends beautiful love letters in crayon, and that when he’s sad the petals wilt off the stems of nearby flowers. He speaks in giggles. He always falls for practical jokes, but he never gets mad. He’s scared of thunder and vacuum cleaners.

The likeness is uncanny.

Today is Pommerdoodle Appreciation Day because in addition to being a great hockey player, he’s also totally bucking the brutish hockey player trend. Good boy, Pommerdoodle!

Bucky Gleason Appreciation Day!

I bet you didn’t see this one coming!

It’s Bucky Gleason Appreciation Day!

Bucky has got it rough, guys. It’s hard to be so pissy all the time. How would you like it if your job was to be a total downer, day in and day out? Everybody hates him! It’s not his fault that outrageous negativity sells papers. Look at that pleasingly round face. Does that look like the face of a bitter crankpot to you? Heck, no!

It’s hard to be Bucky, which is why today is Bucky Gleason Appreciation Day.

In honor of Bucky Gleason Appreciation Day I would like to present Bucky with this book…..

If we all expected as much as Bucky maybe the Sabres would have won the Stanley Cup by now.

 

…….and this Gateway 960 internal fan:

Bucky’s internal fan has been on the fritz since 1983.

Drew Stafford Appreciation Day

Today is Drew Stafford Appreciation Day!

In his Q and A on Sabres.com, Drew Stafford (Buffalo’s resident flesh eater) identified his college band as Red Seal Peach. Of the many, many hilarious things that happened during Part One of the Ookies Buffalo trip, possibly the most hilarious was when they pulled up this gem for my listening/viewing enjoyment.

There he is, folks. The future of the Buffalo Sabres: Mr. Drew Stafford. Leapord print pants, numchucks, fake moustache, and halter top. That’s our boy!

In honor of Drew Stafford Appreciation Day, I would like to present Staffy with this righteous guitar:

bitchin’

…and this bullet belt, to match those wicked guns he’s flaunting in his video:

Guns don’t kill people, Staffy’s badassitude kills people.

Buffalo Bill Fan Appreciation Day

The Bills are bad. I think this is the one thing we can all agree on here in Buffalo. The win on Monday Night would have been an awesome mood boost for the city. Nothing more. It would have been a zany miracle.

I can’t even believe that happened. Not that they almost won on Monday Night Football, and then ultimately lost, but that it happened on the very day I declared I was going to take the happy route about sports. God is clearly testing me. Can I find the bright spot after a game that caused me to burst into tears?

Yes, I can. It’s only football after all.

Watching the game on television, I was so proud of the city for showing up in full force. Drunk, obnoxious, completely insane, and full of totally inexplicable hope. We put on a great show for Monday Night Football. Our football team might suck, but our people are bold and brave. The Buffalo Bills Fan deserves a day of recognition, for being there, year after year, daring to believe.

In celebration of Buffalo Bills Fan Appreciation Day, I would like to offer the fans, this pyramid of Blue Light……

Drink it all up. You’ll feel better.

…….and this Feng Shui for Dummies book:

It’s time we get serious about our city-wide, bad feng shui.

I haven’t been living here long enough to have earned my stripes as a long suffering Bills fan, but last night I sustained my first real battle injury, and like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes, my love for Buffalo swelled to fill the gaping wound.

 

Derek Roy Appreciation Day!

As you go about your day, please take a moment to celebrate Derek Roy Appreciation Day. Last night, in a Sabres 7-2 preseason win over the Toronto Leafs, Roy scored three goals with three assists, and in doing so filled our hearts with hope and joy. Derek Roy is Buffalo’s pocket-sized hero, and today we honor his scrappy determination. In recognition of his six-point game against the Leafs on Wednesday night, we here at The Willful Caboose would like to offer him this Sheriff’s Badge,

….and this coupon for a delicious Wendy’s old fashioned hamburger.

Congratulations, Derek Roy!