Regular attenders of Sabres home games know that the water that comes out of the bathroom sinks at HSBC Arena is not merely cold. That water is otherworldly. No water has ever been as cold as HSBC water. Ever. (Not here on earth, at least).
I’ve bitched about this issue once, or two million, times on this blog. I even put it in the Sabres Suggestion Box.
Please watch this super cute video made by Jessica Pegula. If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, just skip to the 2:28 mark.
YES. YOU HEARD THAT CORRECTLY.
That was Ted Black, President of the Buffalo Sabres, acknowledging the cold water situation.
And while he didn’t say this directly, I’m pretty sure I detected an undercurrent of, “Your hands will never be cold again, Katebits” in the twinkle of his eye. (Incidentally, I’m not the woman who approached Ted Black about the bathroom water at the game on Sunday. I absolutely would have whined to him about my cold hands had I seen him there, but I didn’t. If you’re the woman who bravely alerted Mr. Ted Black to this important issue, you should call me because obviously we’re potential BFFs/soulmates.)
I’ve written a lot in the last few weeks about how different everything feels as a Sabres fan since Pegula took over. Really, it’s almost like rooting for a different team. Never in a million years, not in our wildest dreams, could we have predicted that the new Sabres ownership would be so responsive, so enthusiastic, and so INSANELY CHARMING IN EVERY WAY. I mean, really. It’s pretty much ridiculous how well they’ve been doing. They’re, like, comically good at this.
Terry Pegula is the billionaire who writes the checks, but Ted Black is the man who is actually reading the suggestions that we leave in the suggestion box.
I never had the simmering anger towards Larry Quinn that so many of you had, but even I have to admit, the difference between Larry Quinn and Ted Black is stark. (I suspect that Larry Quinn would personally glue my hands onto a glacier before he’d read my suggestions.)
So, let’s review the evidence:
1. Reads and responds to our suggestions
2. Has basically said ALL the right things WHILE using a tone of voice that makes us believe him
3. Seems waaaaay nicer than Larry Quinn.
4. Cares about our cold hands
There is only one logical conclusion to make: Ted Black is a dreamboat.
It’s Ted Black Appreciation Day! *throws confetti*
I’m not exactly sure how warm water in the women’s restrooms will lead directly to a Stanley Cup, but I have complete faith that it will. WE’RE ON OUR WAY, PEOPLE.
Thank you, Ted Black!