Game 6 Live Blog

I’ve decided what I want to happen. I want the exact opposite of the game on Monday to happen tonight. I want the Red Wings to score two goals in the first, and for the Penguins to calmly come back in the second and third, only to have the Wings tie it up with 35 seconds remaining in the game. Then, I want three OT periods culminating in a PP goal to win the Stanley Cup for the Red Wings. I realize, this is a dicey plan from a rooting standpoint. It’s a long shot, certainly, but I’m up to the task.

Here’s the script:

Go Red Wings (for one period)!

Go Penguins (for two periods)!

Go Red Wings (for the last minute of the game)!

Go goalies (for two OTs)!

GO RED WINGS FOR THE STANLEY CUP!

Let’s see if the teams can deliver…

Pregame

I have dinner on the stove, and laundry in the washing machine. This is the perfect storm of not-being-focused-enough-to-do-a-live-blog. But I am getting excited. WOOOOOOO!!

Lidstrom has the weirdest accent. Swedish, midwest….Southern?

I’m totally confused about this Hulk movie. Wasn’t there a Hulk movie, like last summer? With Jennifer Connolly and some other dude painted green? Is this a sequel, or are we just pretending that other Hulk movie never happened?

1st Period

18:08: I hate the Mellon arena white out. I also think Ryan Malone is a tool.

17:45 Hm. The Red Wings defense looks lame tonight. Come on boys, you need to score two goals in the first. Just stick to the script. It’ll all work out fine.

15:30: Detroit is on the PP, and I’m such a focused fan that I am wildly flipping between NBC and CBC. The CBC picture might be too dark to bear.

WOOOOOOOOOOO!! Red Wings score! It’s all going according to plan! 1-0, Detroit!

14:01: Huh. Malkin didn’t look like puke for a second. He didn’t score, but he didn’t puke on himself, which is a marked improvement. Good work, my little Russian speaking buddy!

12:24: I am now eating the spiciest black beans ever made. Are you telling me it’s wrong to add red pepper all willy-nilly during the cooking process? Holy Toledo….these are confusing times in my mouth.

11:00 Kris Draper is fired for being a goon and an ass and for giving Pittsburgh a 5-on-3.

9:53 Dude, I LOVE watching Penguins 5-on-3s! It reminds me of the Sabres, only without the searing frustration!

6:38 NBC is in love with the Pens.

4:33 The Pens don’t have a lot of zip tonight. I’m thinking, too much pizza.

1:17 I think I fully support the Sabreization of Free Candy, Brooks Orpik. Get to work, Darcy.

:41 I’m getting scared that the Wings are not going to score again and we will be derailed from our super thrilling script already.

1st Intermission

I hate Don Cherry with the burning passion of a million red hot suns. I have to go deal with my laundry. I’ll be right back.

2nd Period

19:45 Okay, perhaps this game won’t follow my perfect script. I guess I’d be fine with the Red Wings just winning in a normal, orderly fashion.

17:54 Okay, here’s a Pens power play. Let’s see what they’ve got.

15:54 They’ve got nothing, that’s what they’ve got.

13:45 I’m now eating a weird flavor of Perry’s ice cream. It’s cake flavored, with swirls of blue frosting, and multi-colored “confetti”. I can’t really explain the urge to buy it in the first place. Normally the food coloring alone would keep me away from this stuff…..but it’s kind of good.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Fillfilplaillgfilppla scores! 2-0, Detroit! The script is back on track!

10:47 Hm. Theoretically I should be cheering for the Pens now if I want the thrilling reverse conclusion from game 5, but I don’t know if I can switch gears like that.

9:33 There is NO sign of life from the Pens. I think what we can safely deduce here is that while the Pens were eating pizza, the Red Wings were eating sensible and nourishing, scientifically-calculated, high-protein goo. As a result, the Red Wings are not feeling sleepy and bloated.

7:45 Okay, that was a little bit of feist from Sid. He must of had some high-protein goo.

5:04 I lost interest in the game for a second. The Pens seem to be on the power play.

Hm. Malkin scores. Well, I’m glad it was Malkin, and this is right on script. The script suddenly concerns me. (2-1. Detroit)

3:58 Okay, as a person rooting for the Wings, I am ready for this period to end.

3:48 Oh wait! Gary Roberts take a penalty killing all momentum for his team! WOOOO!

1:51 Rats. Much to the delight of the NBC crew, the Pens kill the penalty.

:45 Dude, why aren’t the Pens letting the Wings score?

2nd intermission

Ooooh. The Stanley Cup Ad is so amazing in non-tiny non-YouTube format. That ad still gives me chills. I think I love the music the most. When we first saw it, Pookie said “There are so many Devils in it!” Perhaps because there are no Sabres in it, all I can see is the bright, beautiful Cup. I watched that ad about thirty times before I even noticed the specific guys and uniforms. I reeeeeally hope we see the Cup tonight! EEEEEEEEE!!!!

Okay, now I’m a little nervous. It was that damn Cup ad! It got me all riled up!

3rd Period

17:47 The Pens still aren’t sucking quite enough for my tastes.

13:39 This game is pretty stressful now. The Pens are not laying down to die like I wish they would.

Wait! What?! A goal?! Aw, Fleury punches it in with his ass. Heh. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It’s an own-ass-goal! 3-1, Detroit!

9:17 What going on? With an insurance goal I’m losing a little bit of my focus. The Pens can’t possible come back after an own-ass-goal, can they?

7:53 M’kay. The ice is tilted in the Red Wings favor again.

5:11 The Red Wings are quite good at hockey. They could very well be the best team in hockey. I wonder if there is some kind of prize or trophy that we could give them to award them for being so very good at hockey. Hmmm? Any ideas? Anyone?

1:47 Osgood just made perhaps his only save tonight. Seriously. Have the Pens had a shot on goal in the last twenty minutes? But a penalty on the way to Detroit.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! For FUCKS SAKE! I just want to see the Cup! 3-2, Detroit!

:45 Okay, I am SWEATING bullets now!

33: I was hoping for a good game, but NOT THIS GOOD!

Go, clock, go!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The Red Wings Win! The Red Wings win! What a finish! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Wow. That final Hossa shot is going to haunt the Pens and their fans all summer. That was a VERY amazing finish, and the Pens should be proud of putting up such a impressive fight.

Um, fuck you NBC! This isn’t a freaking funeral! The Wings just won the Cup! WOOOOOOOOO!

Marjory the Trash Heap wins the Conn Smyth! I love that guy!

Gaaaaaaaaaasp!! There it is! There it is! Oh. My. God. It’s so beautiful.

Oh, I love this so much!

It’s really too bad this didn’t happen in Detroit though. Igloo=stunned. This is more fun with a screaming arena.

I can’t even imagine what this would be like if………..maybe someday.

Ah, hockey.

*warm fuzzies*

THE END :D

Semi-Live Blog

I intend to watch the game tonight. If I have something interesting to say while it’s occurring, I’ll put it here. How does that sound? If I don’t have anything interesting to say, I’ll put that here too. Heh.

Pregame

-I just learned that the year I graduated from high school (1993), Sidney Crosby was playing Timbits hockey. Hm. I’m pretty old.
- Marc Andre-Fleury has successfully navigated the surface of the ice. I repeat, Fleury is on the ice.
- That was an admirable Star Spangled Banner, slutty looking blond lady. Well done.

1st Period

- Oooh. Sid has that crazy look tonight.
- The Red Wings have that, “Whatever, kid” juggernautty look tonight.
- Ryan Malone has fourteen black eyes.
- Ha! CBC just told us that Kronwall has itty bitty feet, in fact he’s got the smallest feet in the buiness. (Size 6) I was considering switching to VS, but if CBC is going to be all hilarious like this, well then I’m sticking with the Canadians.
- I think Malkin is crumbling under the pressure of being my playoff boyfriend. (1-0, Detroit) Some dude named Stuart, just scored a funny little goal. Stupid Malkin, stupid Flower.
-Okay, remember how I said I was cheering for the Penguins tonight? I’m not so sure I have the resolve to pull it off. I wish that the Penguins didn’t look so bad, but I LOVE how the Red Wing very calmly make everyone look bad. (2-0, Detroit)
-You know, the Sabres must have been really, really bad to miss the playoffs…..in the East.
- The Detroit Red Wings have the best beards in the business. Jordan Staal has a surprisingly respectable beard.
- WWGRD? Take a dumb penalty.
-Q: What have we learned here tonight? A: The Eastern Conference is an embarrassment. Why do we suck so hard? Should we start making all the teams travel unnecessarily out of their way? We hear a lot of whining from the Western Conference about how they have to travel so much in comparison to the Eastern Conference; but, what if that’s what makes them so good? I say we make all the EC teams travel in an Eastern direction, no matter where they are going, until they learn not to be so bad at hockey.
-Shut up, Don Cherry. Just shut up. Never say another thing, ever again. Ever.

2nd Period

- Do the Penguins have any shots in this game?
- Have the Penguins even touched the puck this period?
- I’m seriously considering whether Guitar Hero might be a better use of my time than this game. I can’t beat Slash to get into the Expert level. Slash is just too good. Ever since I found the “Practice” option, Guitar Hero has been so much more rewarding.
- Kid Rock is not aging well.
- The Penguins really can’t buy a goal. On a rare Wings defensive stumble, the Pens fail to score on about fourteen different open nets.
- Why do so many beards grow in red? What is uo with that?
- I’m kind of surprised that Detroit isn’t winning 10-0 by now. I honestly think they are just toying with the Penguins. They’re just batting them around for fun.

2nd Intermission

- AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! The Penguins only have 19 shots in the last FOUR periods. That is hilariously bad. Poor little Pens. The Wings are just too juggernautty.
- Yay! Kelly Hrudey! Wearing a nice yellow tie! I love this guy! One of the things I find so sweet about him is how he looks squarely at the person he is talking to, as if he’s not actually on television. He is making unrelenting eye contact with Ron MacLean right now.
- Yikes. CBC just gave us a shot from behind of the VS crew. I did not need to see the back of Brian Engblom’s head.

3rd Period

- Okay, I am now wandering all over the internet, looking at other live blogs. I’m forgetting to watch the game.
- I really do like the Red Wings, but Babcock gives me the heebie geebies. Big time.
- One of the “hockeyisms” that I still haven’t gotten used to is the overuse of “time and space”. It sounds so new agey to me. It sounds like something that blond chick Muppet in Animal’s band would say. “You just need to make your own time and space, maaan.”
- Ryan Malone ruins everything, doesn’t he? The Penguins had a promising looking PP going and Malone went charging into the nerd’s crease. 4-on-4.
- Shortie for Detroit! Filppula is out of control!
- Aw, a super sad shot of the Pens bench. Sad Talbot makes me feel sad. That beard should never be sad.
- Hey, wait. That wasn’t a shortie. That was 4 on 4. Aren’t you glad you came here for your live blog? Heh.
- Um, Gary Roberts is kind of a douche.
- I hope the Wings score ten goals on this power play.
- If the NHL wants me to keep watching this game, they had better stop playing Guitar Hero songs in the arena.
- It’s suddenly become very important to me that Gary Roberts not win the Cup. Fortunately, there seems to be very little chance of that happening any time soon. Heh.
- Oh, dear. Everyone is punching everyone else.
- Heh. Osgood seems a little tippy tonight. Such a punky nerd.
- Lilja is VERY attractive

At the End

- For awhile there, this game was hugely boring, but then I accepted that I love the Red Wings, and after that the game became highly enjoyable. Hockey is hilarious! (Sorry, Pens fans.) I’m now rooting for a sweep. I was rooting for an exciting series, but if it’s going to be lopsided like this, I want to see the most dominant performance in the history of hockey. So far, so good. Go Red Wings!

Sabres vs. Leaves 3/21/08

Pregame

Mood: Pensive. The news that Tim Connolly has succumbed to his wonky hip, combined with the news that Teppo’s return has a little bit of “eff you, Sabres” around the edges, has left me feeling a little wobbly.
Favorite Sabre: Crunchy, who I will refer to as “Whompy” tonight. Whompy is Crunchy’s nickname.
Least Favorite Sabre: Ummm, Andrew Peters?
Summary of thoughts: Hm. I hope the Sabres win tonight, because they are playing a whole buttload of scary teams next week.
Lost character representing my hopes for this game: Desmond

He might be loonytunes, but he’s charmingly single-minded.

He’s all about the playoffs Penny.

After the 1st (2-0, Leaves)

Mood: Cranky
Favorite Sabre: I can’t tell them apart tonight. Whompy got screwed on that first one, but he should have had the second one. I think. Whatevs. I’ve got your back, Whompy.
Least Favorite Sabre: I can’t tell them apart tonight.
Summary of thoughts: Poop.
Lost character representing the game thus far: Juliet

So annoying.

After the 2nd (3-1, Leaves)

Mood: Half drunk, thank God.
Favorite Sabre: I’m kind of feeling Staffy tonight.
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno. It’s hard to choose. Max? Ales? Can we blame this on T-bone? Big Bear?
Summary of thoughts: At the beginning of the season I had a bit of a crush on Kevin Sylvester, but ever since I saw him on Dan’s gigantic HD television, he’s been kind of giving me the creepers. By comparision, Mike Robitallelielitallieille has grown on me like a fungus. And that is all I have to say about this game.
Lost character representing this game so far: Michael

What the fuck, Leafs Michael! You’re supposed to be dead, or at LEAST out of our hair. Go away!

At the End (4-1, injured Leaves)

Mood: belligerent
Favorite Sabre: I hate hockey.
Least Favorite Sabre: I hate hockey.
Summary of thoughts: Now I’m all disturbed.
Lost character representing this game: Evil Black Smoke

 

Thankfully, I’m too drunk to deal with this right now.

Sabres vs. Rangers 3/10/08

Tonight I’m going to do something I vowed I would never do again: I’m going to watch the Sabres game on a DVR delay. I have viola related activities scheduled for 3 out of the next 4 game nights. It’s hard to write about games that I don’t watch, so, for the good of the blog (and for the bad of my mental health), I’m going to absorb the carnage “live”. Then I’ll share my slowly unfolding horror with you, starting at about 9:oopm. Doesn’t that sound like fun for everybody?

Feel free to leave spoilers/rants/raves in the comments. I’ll be in a media blackout until I’m all caught up.

Pregame

Mood: Good! I’ve been rehearsing beautiful music with good friends. Life is good.
Favorite Sabre: Aww, who’s a cuter captain than Pommerdoodle? No one. That’s who.
Least Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek. Thomas, you made me a promise, and my faith in your ability to deliver is starting to wear thin. It’s time for a little less “slag-faced whore” and a lot more “future of the Sabres”.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Hm. This is a tough one. Thanks to Eliot Spitzer, I’ve got high-priced escorts on the brain, so I’m going to go with that. I’m going to be really generous and say that my hope is represented by Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman”.

She’s cute, but she’s probably got cooties.

After the 1st (1-1)

Mood: Unimpressed.
Favorite Sabre: Pommerdoodle is the only Sabre I trust these days. The dude is such a steady little puppy.
Least Favorite Sabre: Staffy and Millsie, I love you both, but seriously, you suck.
Animal representing my hope for this game: Sigh. Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo

This game is not even remotely funny, you guys.

After the 2nd (2-2)

Mood: I’M ALL WORKED UP!
Favorite Sabre: I’m sticking with the Doodle.
Least Favorite Sabre: I’m still kind of pissed at Staffy. I think Lindy might be too. Has Staffy been benched, or is he just being invisible?
Whore representing my hope for this game: Thomas Vanek, I so want to love you!

Oh sure, he’s a whore. But he’s OUR whore.

At the End (3-2 SO, Rangers)

Mood: So, so sad.
Favorite Sabre: Pommers, you are so easy to root for.
Least Favorite Sabre: Staffy, have you been eating enough brains?
Summary of thoughts: *sniff*
Whore representing my hopes for the playoffs: I really don’t want to do this, but I’m sorry, the Sabres have left me no choice….

It’s not pretty, folks.

UPDATE: Okay, I’m going to depart from the format because I’m don’t feel ready to quit bitching about this game. All of our defensemen are broken, which might not matter because we are running out of time anyway, but still. Poor Pratt and Toni Tone Tony had to play, like, 735 minutes tonight. I feel like this game was the sum of all fears. The Sabres are broken, and down and out. Bucky Gleason gets to gloat. Chris Drury is smug. The crazies get to rant on WGR. Crunchy seems worn out and worn down. Getting to the playoffs will require a near miracle.

BUT, Goose did look very cute in his rally helmet. It’s not nothing, I suppose. Plaintive HONK! (I’m not sure how straight men and lesbians can tolerate sports on nights like tonight.)

Sabres @ Flyers 3/4/08

Pregame

Hey Goose.

‘Sup Crunch?

Is it just me, or has Lindy gone bonkers?

Dude, I do not know. ‘Tri and Pie are SCRATCHED.

It’s worrisome. Highly. Petey is in.

(shaking head) HONK, dude…..Honk.

After the 1st (2-1, Sabres)

I will CUT a bitch.

WHAT THE HOLY HELL?!

I’m scared (but awesome).

After the 2nd (2-2)

KATEBITS! This schtick is NOT WORKING. IT’S NOT FUNNY. It’s STOOPID. This BLOG BIT IS NOT WORKING!

I know! But I’m in too deep! I don’t know how to fix it!

Hey guys! Did you see my spin-o-rama?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

At the end (5-2, Sabres!)

You love me again, don’t you?

Da! I do! I do!

Damn straight.

I don’t want ANYMORE bellyaching from you for the rest of the season. DO YOU HEAR ME KATEBITS?! I’ve had ENOUGH of your BULLHONKY. SUCK IT UP. STOP WHINING!

Okay, okay! (whining) I’m sooory. Don’t be mad Lindy. (trying to change the subject) Um, how is Hank? He looked kind of effed up there. Is he going to be okay?

He’s got an upper body injury. It’s not his noggin’, thank goodness.

I’m fine! My shoulder hurts, but I’m going to be okay! Don’t worry Heather! Thank you so much for the flowers and the get well card! Your love is so important in my healing process. I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. The very most important thing is that you don’t worry. I promise I’ll be back!

*sniff* I just want you to be okay!

I’m okay. Please don’t fret!

Hey! What about me?

Who the hell are you?

I’m Andrej Sekera! The kid Lindy look a chance on! He benched Kalinin so I could play!

Oh Em Gee! You were SO GOOD! I LOVE you!

Yeah, you do!

I’m the best captain EVER! Hoooooowl!

You totally are, Pommerdoodle! You ROCK!

Katebits, I can’t believe you were so stressed about this one.

Seriously, KB. You must chill. HONK!

I’ll try to be good from now on. I promise.

Sabres vs. Canadiens 2/29/08

Pregame

Mood: Pumped but cautious.
Favorite Sabre: I’m tempted to say Steve Bernier, but I feel it’s too soon. Goose and his tree-hugging ways are always a good bet, but the thing is, Toni Tony Tone really recaptured my heart the other night. He had FOUR(!) assists on Wednesday. He’s a points getting MOOOONSTER!
Least Favorite Sabre: Sigh. T-Bone, I just can’t deal with you.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Duh

Summary of thoughts: It’s Leap Year Day which is obviously a date steeped in black magik and mystery. I don’t know if Leap Day is good or bad for the Sabres, all I know is that it’s a weird day. All sorts of oddness is swirling: A healthy Staffy and Max being scratched for Peters and Kaleta? Whaa?

After the 1st (0-2, Canadiens)

Mood: Unhappy, sad, and hungry.
Favorite Sabre: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOO! BOO!
Least Favorite Sabre: I could never choose. I hate all my Sabres equally.
Animal representing my hopes for this game:

Pathetic

Summary of thoughts: Steve Bernier did NOT score two goals in this period. In fact, he scored ZERO goals. What the hell? Staffy and Max are back, but they’re NOT even trying to woo me. Is it just me, or did that period COMPLETELY SUCK? They were slow, disorganized, and Crunchy is….worrisome. I want my money back. I want my life back. I also need to eat dinner because this game is crazy annoying on an empty stomach.

After the 2nd (1-4, Canadiens)

Mood: For awhile I was feeling unreasonably irked, but now I’m just….blank.
Favorite Sabre: I have to admit that my hideous mood was somewhat soothed by the sight of Crunchy in a shower cap/hair net and goggles wandering around the ice cream factory trying out his personal flavor “Breakaway Berry-er”. Due to his excellent work with the ice cream industry, Crunchy is my temporary favorite Sabre. Since there is more hockey to play, I’m confident this renewed sense of calm won’t last.
Least Favorite Sabre: I am not at all happy to have you back Max.
Animal representing my hopes for this game:

This is just sad

Summary of thoughts: The Canadiens are much, much better at hockey than the Sabres. One thing that is awfully discouraging about this team is that they never seem to rise to the challenge of a better team. I basically couldn’t stand to watch for most of the second period, so I went into the kitchen and made myself a delicious nicoise salad. I can highly recommend eating a nicoise salad tonight. Do it. You might feel better about life.

At the end (2-6, Canadiens)

Summary of thoughts: I TOLD you Leap Year Day was EVIL. This day doesn’t EVEN EXIST.

Okay, hold on. Mike Robitaille just called the Montreal powerplay “staccato-like”. That’s kind of…..awesome. GREAT. Now I’m in love with MIKE ROBITAILLE. This day could NOT be worse!

Sabres vs. Flyers 2/25/08

Pregame

Mood: Worried.
Favorite Sabre: I am highly concerned about Brian Campbell’s willingness to seriously participate in this game. In order to encourage at least one more night of his loyalty to the slug, I am naming him my current Favorite Sabre. That’s right, Soupy. We are nothing without you. Nothing.
Least Favorite Sabre: Ales Kotalik. I don’t even mean this. I totally like Ales. That was a heartbreaking mistake against the Rangers. I’m all nervous tonight. I’m saying and doing things I don’t mean.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: One small felt owl

I’m concerned. Highly.

Prediction: I don’t have a good feeling about this one. I’m sorry, but as delightful as their run has been, Philly is just not going to lose forever. They might suck, but even the suckiest Suckersons win one occasionally. I think the atmosphere at the arena is going to be weird. Everyone is all confused about who is who, and which team who plays for. Plus, the game is on Versus. Ew.

After the 1st (3-2, Sabres)

Mood: 1.Happy 2. Joyful 3. Elated 4. Annoyed 5.Suicidal
Favorite Sabre: Myself. I’m not sure you guys realize how much impact I have on the play of Derek Roy. Derek Roy is on my fantasy hockey team, The Fancy Bits. On the evening he returned to the Sabres lineup after his shoulder injury, I forgot to take him off of the F-Bit bench. He went on to score, like 45 goals that night. Wonderful for the Sabres, frustrating for the F-Bits. Every since then, I have kept Roy-Z on the bench, only playing him he is literally my only center playing a game. So, basically, my fine F-Bit managing skillz are directly responsible for Roy-Z’s fine play of late. You’re welcome.
Least Favorite Sabre: Danny Briere. I’m sorry to report that Danny seems to be playing for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Whaaa? When did THAT happen? Danny Briere is, like, the worst Sabre ever!
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Large metal owl

My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.

Prediction: I dare not say a word.

After the 2nd (3-2, Sabres)

Mood: This game feels angry and pissy and no fun.
Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I hate them all.
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I love them all.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Scary owl

My hope is starting to freak me out. Look at it. Yikes.

Prediction: Well, someone is going to win, and someone is going to lose.

After the 3rd (3-3)

Mood: Grim

At the end (4-3, Flyers)

Mood: Dejected

Favorite Sabre: Whoever we get for Soupy

Animal Representing my hopes for the season:

From whence it came. Only way worse.

Summary of thoughts: I did not enjoy that. That was supremely unpleasant.

Sabres vs. Penguins 2/17/08

Pregame

Mood: Splendid! I’m in a very good mood.
Favorite Sabre: Pommerdoodle. Who’s cuter than Pommers? No one!
Least Favorite Sabres: Soupy and Spacek. -4 is not cute.
Animal representing my hopes for this game:

I can’t help it. I’m hopeful today.

Prediction: I have no prediction. Honestly, nothing would surprise me here.
Summary of thoughts: Everything is all bunched up in the standings and it makes me feel all nervie. I don’t like how one groaty loss tossed us right out of the playoffs. On a totally unrelated note, some hilarious person found TWC by googling “Chris and Kate Drury”. Well played, funny googler. Well played.

After 1st (0-0)

Mood: Dazed.
Favorite Sabre: FOR THE LOVE OF LINDY RUFF! Goose is the master of the adorable PSA. First, he taught us that “books are the foundation of reading”, now he’s trying to save the planet by flirting with tin cans and lightbulbs. Was there hockey played after that commercial? Because all I’ve been doing since that PSA aired is sorting my recyclables and honking dreamily. Honk. Honk. honkhonkhonkhonk. Heh. Blue and Gold make green, people. Green is the foundation of the planet. Hooooonk.
Least Favorite Sabre: Whatevs. Did you SEE Goose’s commercial?!
Animal representing my hopes for planet earth: Green Slug

Prediction: Hopefully we’ll see a whole lot more of Goose trying to save the planet.
Summery of thoughts: Goose. Goose. GooseGooseGoose. HONK! honkhonkhonk. GOoooooooooose! Must recycle. Must recycle. Recycling is the foundtion of enjoying nature for generations to come.

After 2nd (1-2, Penguins)
Mood: I am totally spazzing here. This game is upsetting. Why aren’t they winning?! WHY?!
Favorite Sabre: I’ve been resisting him, but I can’t deny it anymore: The Kaleta! is awesome. I love how he goaded Armstrong into that penalty. Well done, sir.
Least Favorite Sabre: Pollution. And Buffalonians who don’t recycle.
Prediction: I dunno. I really really really really want the Sabres to win. I am WAY too emotionally tweaked out about this game. I need to calm down.
Summary of thoughts: Dear Hockey Gods, I promise to be the best little recycler in the world if the Sabres win this game. I’m already a pretty devoted recycler, but I will never throw another thing away AGAIN! I’ll eat my orange rinds! I’ll build a compost pile in my apartment! I’ll sell my car and ride a recumbant bike to work! I’ll collect my junk mail and use it to build violas for underprivileged children! PLEASE LET THEM WIN. PLEASE! With Respect, Katebits

At the end (1-4, Penguins)

Mood: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NONONONONO
NONONONONONONONONONO!! NO! NOOOO! NO! NO!
Summary of thoughts: This one broke my heart. It’s been a long time since I lost all perspective during a game. I wanted them to win SO BADLY. *lays face down on the ground*
Glimmer of hope: If Paul Gaustad would come over to my house, sit on my couch in his brown sweater, hold a tin can up to his face, and lecture me for the remainder of the evening about the simple steps I can take to help the environment, I MIGHT not have to commit hari-kari with my recyclables. *sad honk*

Sabres @ Storm Troopers 2/12/08

Pregame:

Mood: Fretful
Favorite Sabre: Toni Lydman
Least Favorite Sabre: Andrew Peters. I’m just not in the mood for his antics. I vote that we enjoy a violence-free game.
My Candy Heart Says:

Prediction: I don’t think things look good for this game. Ottawa is all revved up about their trade, and the Sabres are probably still a little skittish from their brush with the Grim Reaper. I can’t say I’ll blame the Sabres if they come out of the gate a little tentatively.

After the 1st (0-0)

Mood: Pleased
Favorite Sabre: This is weird….Mike Ryan. Is it just me, or is did he take an extra Flintstonesvitamin with his Wheaties today? He seems zippy. I would also like to give a shout-out to the doctors who gave Zednik such good care on Monday night. Not only are they smartiepants healers, but they are hotties as well. Nice work, Dr. Noor and Dr. Bisson.
Least Favorite Sabre: Um, I dunno. I’m trying to lay off of Soupy because I’m scared they are going to sign him this week. I’m sticking with Peters. Is he even playing? What the hell happened to Nathan Paetschteahetchsh?
My Candy Heart Says:

Prediction: No one is going to suffer a life-threatening, horrifyingly gory injury today. It just feels like a normal hockey game. Phew.

After the 2nd (1-0, Sabres)

Mood: Nervous but pleased. This feels like a waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop situation.
Favorite Sabre: Are you ready for this? Thomas Vanek. That goal went straight to my heart. Nice one, Thomas.
Favorite Sabre Honorable Mention: Mike Robitaille. That old-timey clip they showed at intermission of Robi chilling at home with his foxy wife was pretty spectacular.
Least Favorite Sabre: Still Petey. Poor guy.
My Candy Heart Says:

Prediction: This game will not end 1-0.

At the End (5-1, Sabres)

Mood: Pommerdoodling! (Also, surprised that Ottawa sucked so hard.)
Favorite Sabre: I am so happy to announce that Thomas Vanek is my Favorite Sabre tonight.
Least Favorite Sabre: I don’t even have it in me to hate Soupy or Petey right now.
My Candy Heart Says:

Prediction: Plan the parade. Hee.

Sabres Vs Bruins 2/5/08 Super Sick Tuesday

Well, I called in sick because I most definitely have SARS. I’m no doctor, but I do know that: barking cough + overall achy-ness + hot and cold chills + general displeasure = SARS. I’m not sure about the rules regarding blogging while too sick to go to work. It’s probably frowned upon, but the way I see it, I’m going to be sitting on the couch, surrounded by kleenex and hopped up on cough syrup no matter what, so I might as well watch the hockey game.

So, without futher ado, I present to you, whatever this thing is that I’ve been doing lately. Game diary? Live blog? Whatever. Here it is.

Pregame

Mood: Have I mentioned my SARS?
Favorite Sabre: Jochen Hecht. Awesome + kick ass = my boyfriend
Least Favorite Sabre: Tim Connolly. bitch face + constant injury = lame.
Animal representing my current physical condition: Slug

Prediction: Oh, hell. I don’t know.
Summary of thoughts: All cough syrups are not created equal. If it tastes even marginally acceptable, it’s no good. Unless your cough syrup makes you gag, you might as well just skip it all together. Luden’s Wild Cherry “cough drops” are the bomb diggity. Unlike cough syrup, a cough drop should be delicious.

After 1st (1-1)

Mood: Well, this is already less annoying than the other Boston games, so I’m going with: not-annoyed. My mood is “not-annoyed”
Favorite Sabre: Paille. Young Danny Paille is swell.
Least Favorite Sabre: Andrew Peters, worst fighter in the world.
Animal representing my current physical condition: barking dog (Because of the cough, not because I’m a dog. Even with SARS, I’m a babe.)

Prediction: This game is going to end 2-1.
Summary of thoughts: …..cough syrup……………..syrup……cough..cough……cough

After the 2nd (2-1, Sabres)

Mood: Cough-y
Favorite Sabre: Staffy. He’s been eating more brains recently. Good work, Staffy.
Least Favorite Sabre: I kind of like them all tonight. Soupy’s haircut has earned him a break from my constant scorn.
Animal representing my current physical condition:

Prediction: I’m going directly to bed after this game.
Summary of thoughts: They are not sucking ass. I’m kind of proud of them lately.

After the game (4-2, Sabres It was actually 4-1 but Crunchy started thinking about what he was going to have for dinner right at the end of the game [Salad, no dressing. Boiled chicken, no sauce]. Whoopies.)

Mood: Pleased
Favorite Sabre: Toni Lydman! He’s a goal scoring MOOOOONSTER!
Summary of thoughts: I think that Sabres must have known that I am down and out, and so they played a good game, just for me. Thanks, guys! Cough.