Sabres @ Caps 11/24/09 Thanksgiving Eve Edition

Pregame

I feel like I’ve lost my mojo with the old game day format, so I’m going to try something new, which is to totally wing it.  I’m going to blog about this game, but I have no idea how.   The only preparation for blogging I’ve made this evening is to have a VERY generous glass of wine and to place the wine bottle within arm’s reach.  We’ll see what happens.

You know what rocks?  Thanksgiving, that’s what.  So, tonight we will give thanks.  No matter how dry the turkey the Sabres serve tonight, we WILL be thankful for the them.  We can do it.   I mean, we’re drunk right now.  We can do anything.

1st Period

-Okay, first of all, MY EYES!  MY EYES!  This is the ugliest low-def feed in the history of feeds.   But, um, I am thankful that we have a game to watch at all.  Yeeeah.

-I have a confession to make: I think Ovechkin is totally gross and I’ve been secretly hoping that he’s gotten too fat to play hockey.  Yes, I’ve been reduced to irrationally wishing that Ovechkin a lazy oaf.  I KNOW HE’S A FATTIE AT HEART.  It takes one to know one.  You mark my words, hockey fans- In three years, that guy is going to be too fat to walk, much less play hockey.  And for that, we give thanks.  Sadly, for now, we have to accept that Ovechkin is better at hockey than both Crunchy and Mylers.  But not for long because there is NO WAY that either Crunchy or Mylers is going to get fat.  Ever.   (I’m trying out “Mylers” as a nickname for Tyler Myers, FYI.) 1-0 Caps

In-depth drunken analysis: Well, that could have been worse- Ovechkin could have a hat trick by now.  This game has a topsy turvy feel.  The Caps are speedy and score-y, but they also look awfully we’re-happy-to-sacrifice-defense-y, so maybe, maybe, MAYBE if the silly Sabres could remember how to score, they could still have a chance.  For that chance, we give thanks!

Intermission report: James Kennedy (Tim’s father) is cracking me UP.  He is probably the worst interview in the world.  I am thankful for charmingly monotone NHL fathers who don’t know how to look at the camera (or smile) and as a result look kind of shifty even though you KNOW they’re not.  Totally unrelated- I just toasted a bagel with some drizzled olive oil and I’m pretty sure I could win Iron Chef with this innovative recipe.  I’m thankful for my culinary genius.

2nd Period

- 5 minutes into this period, and I fear the only chance of the Sabres getting out of this game alive is that Ovechkin is eating hoagies on the bench.   Is Ovechkin eating hoagies on the bench? I am thankful for hoagies regardless.

- Rats.  Vanek really needed that one.  And by “that one” I mean that chance all alone right in front of Varlamov.

- RJ declares that some Cap should get a penalty for slashing Kaleta. I am thankful that Rick is such a homer.  I’ve never understood why homerism is so bad. I mean, I get why a fan of the Caps wouldn’t necessarily enjoy Rick Jeanneret, but is that really his target audience?  I’m a Sabres homer, and I appreciate the same in RJ.

- The Sabres have picked it up a bit and are getting lots of chances (and I am thankful), but they canNOT hit the net.   Sillyheads.

- The Caps are reeeeally trying to let the Sabres score now.  Thanks guys, but you’re going to have to try a little harder.  You are playing the S-A-B-R-E-S.

- I just suggested “Mylers” on Twitter, and it was received with icy silence.  Screw you, Twitter.  Um, I mean, I’m thankful for feedback.  *shifty eyes*

In-depth drunken analysis: The Sabres are never going to score again, which is sad, because I like it when they score.  I’m thankful even.

Intermission report: Kylvester tells us that the Caps have been really sucky in the third period lately.  Hooray!  Let us give thanks!

3rd Period

- VANEK IS SUCH A SLAG-FACED WHORE.  He misses the net for, like, the MILLIONTH time this game.

- Maybe this is just the wine talking, but this game is kind of a hoot.    I can’t believe the Sabres are still in this game.  I thought the Caps were supposed to be good.  The Senators would have had a ten goal lead by now.

- Ovechkin boards the hell out of Kaleta and the Sabres go on a 5 minute power play.  Ovechkin loves hockey SO MUCH on his way to the locker room.  Please, please, please, PLEASE let him get suspended for a hit on Patrick Kaleta. That?  Would be hilarious.

- Rivet trips some Cap.  For fucks sake.  4-on-4.

- Okay Sabres.  Collect yourselves.  The 4-on-4 is over and you still have 2 minutes of power play on the Gr8’s penalty.

- Nevermind.

- Ugh.  This game is bonkers, and I have a very unthankful feeling about it right now.  The Caps SUCK!  But not as much as the Sabres!

- Oh NO!  Another Caps penalty!  The Sabres are doooooomed!

- Some sort of clustereff in front of the net makes it 2-0, Capitals.

- I’m losing the will to blog about this game.  Quick!  I have to find something to be thankful about!  Turkey!  The Nutcracker!  Fizzy water!  Kilz primer!  Sea salt!  Pretty fabric!  Good people!

- That….was rough.  I mean, Varlamov had a nice game, but the Sabres offense is INSANELY BAD right now.

In-depth drunken analysis: Alright, Sabres fans.  SHAKE IT OFF.  That game was total bullhonky!  We’re not going to let the Sabres ruin Thanksgiving, because Thanksgiving is bigger than hockey. We can deal with these non-scoring a-holes later.  Tonight, we must shake it off.

I am thankful that this game is over and I still have a nice buzz and wonderful plans for tomorrow.  All you guys have a safe and delicious Thanksgiving.  We’ll viciously turn on the Sabres in full force on Friday, but for now we have better things to think about.  Like thankfulness.   And turkey.

Sabres vs. Flyers 11/06/09

Pregame

Mood: I am super tired, and super happy.  I got an unexpected evening off tonight.   While my colleagues in the BPO are playing a concert at Hilbert College, I find myself “rotated off” the concert (That’s BPO-speak for “the stage is too small to hold all of us, so the string sections have to be reduced”), and plopped in the comfy chair, SUPER pumped to watch a Sabres game.
Favorite Sabre: CRUN-CHY!  CRUN-CHY!  CRUN-CHY!  If you don’t love Crunchy right now, you are not my friend.
Least Favorite Sabre: It’s difficult to choose a favorite Sabre when they are chugging along like this, so I’m going to pick on Toni Tone Tony Lydman.  Dude, I’m sorry your groin hurts, but you should ask Adam Mair what happens to guys when they are injured and the team is winning.  Lindy scratches your ass even when you’re healthy, that’s what.  Godspeed, Toni Lydman’s Groin.  Godspeed.
Prediction: Let’s face it, the Sabres have been playing the dregs of the NHL for the last month.  Tonight feels like “Sabres Part 2: Electric Boogaloo.  This Time It’s Personal”.  Unlike everyone else the Sabres have played recently, the Flyers are supposedly good at hockey.  I’m nervous, excited, and eager to see how the Sabres look.  I think this game will be feisty and fun.  I feel like Mike Richards scored at will against the Sabres last season, so I’m hoping someone punches him square in the face tonight.
Home improvement project representing this game: My downstairs half bath.

The plan for today’s post was to run around, taking pictures of all the unseemly nooks and crannies in my house so that I could use them for this post, but unfortch, that didn’t happen.  I have NO idea where the cord that connects my camera to my computer is right now.  It’s packed up in a box, and frankly, that’s all deterrent I needed to scrap the plan.  I’m sorry that it didn’t work out though because it was going to be cute.

All I do lately is paint, scrap, drill stuff, open boxes, and stand back and wonder how in the hell I’m supposed to fix THAT.  It feels like it’s never going to be acceptable in this house.  Ever.  Right now my house is not a very conducive environment for living, but it IS ripe for comedy.  You’re just going to have to imagine the hilarity though, because I don’t have any pictures.

Except this one….

This is what my downstairs bathroom looked like on the day of the house inspection. The previous owner packed up all his knick knacks and took them away, but unfortunately he left a LOT of wood paneling behind.  The bathroom no longer looks like this.  I’ve painted everything and changed all the fixtures.  Now it’s just a bland little bathroom.  It’s a bit sad, actually.  Truth be told, while I don’t want to have this bathroom in my house, I LOVE this picture.  I plan to frame this picture and hang it in the bathroom as decoration.  Heh.

After the 1st (1-0, Flyers)
Mood: Grossed out.  Carcillo is just completely disgusting in every way.
Favorite Sabre: Crunchy is just on fire.  Such a pleasure to watch.  His legs look extra frog-like to me, and that’s just how I like him.  Extra froggy.
Least Favorite Sabre: Roy-Z is tucking his sweater into the back of his pants tonight.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like it a bit.
Summary of events: Well, I’ve seen worse periods, but I’ve also seen MUCH better.  I’m getting the sense that the Sabres are still trying to decide if they want to to be brats all, “HEY!  You guys aren’t letting us win like the Islanders do!” or, if they want to be men.  Ryan Miller had a few nice saves- the kind we are just taking for granted at this point.  And Tim Kennedy did some REAL foxy back checking on a Mike Richards breakaway.  Then, the ugliest man I have EVER SEEN scored a goal on Crunchy, and I added “Carcillo” to the list of people I irrationally hate.  At the start of the intermission report, while I was rattling around in the kitchen, I heard Roby say, “knit one, purl one” for some reason, and then I added “MIKE ROBITAILLE TOTALLY KNITS” to the list of things that are so awesome that I couldn’t care less if they are true.
Home improvement project representing this game so far: wallpaper in the stairwell

This wallpaper is not in my house, but I DO have striped yellow wallpaper IN THE STAIRWELL.  How the hell am I going to get THAT off?  I can’t reach it all, and I can’t use a ladder on the stairs.  Stupid, Flyers.

After the 2nd (3-1, Flyers)

Mood: Oof.  Remember that whole “rotated off” thing?  Well, I wasn’t rotated off, off.  I was an alternate player in case someone called in sick.  As it turns out, someone DID call in sick, and at 5:30 I got a call telling me I was supposed to go to work tonight.  Trouble is, I didn’t realize my phone was out of juice.  I didn’t get the message until 8:30ish, otherwise known as “30 minutes after the concert started”.  Basically, I didn’t show up for work tonight.  This is VERY bad behavior.  I feel awful.  I’m completely horrified that I screwed up like this. This game?  Isn’t helping.  :(
Favorite Sabre: :(
Least Favorite Sabre: :(
Summary of FUTURE events: I am TOTALLY going to hear about this at work tomorrow.  I am going to be accused of purposefully not picking up the phone so that I could watch this game.  (Um, it doesn’t help that I was making jokes about doing EXACTLY that at rehearsal this morning.  I SWEAR THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT.)  My only saving grace in this debacle is that I didn’t actually GO to the game.  Thank GOD I didn’t actually go.
Home improvement project representing this evening so far: mold in the basement

This is not my basement, but it is how I feel right now.

At the end (5-2, Flyers)
Mood: VERY GRIM
Favorite Sabre: Stupid Sabres, stupid phone, stupid everything.
Least Favorite Sabre: Meh.
Summary of events: I definitely got what I deserved with this game tonight.  Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but crockpots are miraculous.  I put a bunch of raw vegetables and meat in there this afternoon, and somehow it’s stew now.  I think crockpots must use witchcraft and black magiks.  Delicious witchcraftery.
Plan for the future: Let’s just pretend this entire night didn’t happen.  Tomorrow is Friday again.  Sigh.

Sabres @ Predators 10/10/09

Pregame

I am about to do the unthinkable.  I’m going to watch a second consecutive game on DVR delay.  I don’t believe I have EVER attempted such a daring feat in the history of this blog. It worked out so well the other night, that I thought I’d try it again.  The conditions are very similar- I just got done with a fun little BPO show.  Tonight we played a live soundtrack to a Charlie Chaplin film.  I was a pretty good show, if I do say so myself.  Anyhoo, it was an early night at work, so now it’s time for hockey/

Mood: Tired.  I’ve been all kinds of stressed lately.  My viola schedule is totally nutty, plus, I have a variety of  other trials, tribulations, and exciting challenges lurking about.  So, yesterday I was sitting there, feeling overwhelmed when my BFF, Ashley called.  Ashley and her partner Molly (my BFF is a total lesbian), recently had twin girls.  Yesterday they found out that the girls (who are less than a week old, and two weeks premature) need to be fed every two and a half hours because they are so tiny that they will lose weight if they sleep for too long without a snack.  So, Ashley and Molly have to WAKE THEM UP to feed them.  Every two and a half hours they have to rouse their slumbering daughters and feed them.  If both parents are involved, the process of getting them fed, burped, and changed takes forty minutes.   What this means is that until their babies fatten up, Ashley and Molly won’t get more than one hour and fifty minutes of sleep at a time.  Ever.  Have I mentioned that they already have a four-year-old?  Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s time for me to buck the hell up, because at least I can take a Tylenol PM and sleep my ass off from time to time.
Favorite Sabre: I’m still kind of swoony from Clarke MacArther’s game against Phoenix.
Least Favorite Sabre: On my way into work I listened to a few minutes of the pregame show on WGR and they played an interview with Tim Connolly that was absurdly flat.  Timmy, it’s okay to use inflection while giving an interview.
Prediction: The power play is still going to suck tonight.
Potentially stressful event representing my hopes for this game: Spelling bee

Spelling bees are scary, but they’re not THAT scary.  I mean, the competitors are prepubescent nerds.  How scare can it get?  (That question is NOT a challenge, Sabres)

After the 1st (0-0)

Mood: Cranky.  It’s time for these prepubescent nerds to start scoring goals.  Also, my non-HD channels have been all wonky and pixellated lately, and for SOME STUPID REASON the Sabres don’t broadcast the road games in HD.  For shame, Sabres.  For shame.
Favorite Sabre: Patrick Lalime, who should be playing tonight.
Least Favorite Sabre: Lindy Ruff, who should have played Lalime tonight.
Summary of events: The Sabres were all “Tra la la….we love getting a million scoring chances and never scoring!  Weeeee!  Let’s do this every night for the rest of our lives!”
Potentially stressful event representing this game: Walking through a parking garage alone at night.

We probably won’t die, but this game feels like it could turn into our worst nightmare any minute now.

After the 2nd (0-0)
Mood: Bored.
Favorite Sabre: Tyler Myers. What’s not to love?
Least Favorite Sabre: Vanek, Roy, Connolly, and Pominville.  These men are paid handsomely to score goals.
Summary of events: I barely paid any attention to that period because I was playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.  During times like this, when I’m so busy and my time is valuable, I have to prioritize my activites.  Apparently, Bejeweled Blitz trumps the Sabres when they’re refusing to score goals.
Potentially stressful event representing this game so far: Driving a manual transmission car in San Francisco.

It’s fine as long as you don’t have to stop (playing Bejeweled Blitz).

At the end (1-0, Sabres)

Mood: Appeased.  For now.

Favorite Sabre: Crunchy! Crunchy!  Crunchy!  (Also, Mike Grier!  Mike Grier!  Mike Grier!)

Least Favorite Sabre: All of the rest of them.

Summary of events: Sometimes a 1-0 game is thrilling, but tonight was not one of those times.  That was ka-razy boring.  It is really, really, really, really time for the Sabres to remember how to score.

Potentially stressful event representing this game: Well I have to admit.  This game was not stressful in the slightest.  It was like taking a Tylenol PM.

zzzz.

Sabres vs Coyotes 10/8/09

Okay, here’s the terrible truth.  I don’t really feel like the NHL season has started.  I missed the first Sabres game, and then I got all wrapped up in the Twins, and I’ve barely had a chance to watch a single minute of anyTHING because I’ve been so busy and preoccupied with about ten thousand things, none of which are hockey.

I’ve been feeling a bit sad, Hockey-wise, so today I’m doing what I almost never do, I’m about to watch a DVRed game.

Pregame

Mood: I am downright DELIGHTED right now.  Tonight my orchestra played with the fabulous, charming, very talented and wonderful, Ben Folds.  I hearted him before the concert, but I heart him even more now.
Favorite Sabre: You know, I’ve barely had the chance to look at the roster much less evaluate the players.  I guess I’ll go with my old standard, Goosenheimer Smith.  HONK!
Least Favorite Sabre: Oh, hell.  I don’t know.  Roy-Z?
Prediction: DVR delay games never end well.  If the Sabres lose, expect dramatically oversized outrage.
Musical Act Representing My Hope For This Game: Ben Folds

He’s sassy, he’s fun, he’s cute as a (nerdy) bug’s ear.

After the 1st (0-0)

Mood: Still chipper!
Favorite Sabre: Staffy is failing to score at every turn, and yet I kind of love him tonight.
Least Favorite: I see Roy-Z is still choosing to pass the puck to some invisible player behind him in lieu of shooting at the net.  Roy-Z is a slag-faced whore.
Observations:
- The Sabres should have made Ed Jovanovski pay for icing the puck two thousand times in a row.
- EW! EW!  A THOUSAND TIMES, EW! Cellino and Barnes pop-up ads during the game?!
- Crunchy is so spunky.
- I looooove my television.
- Seriously.  Since when does Jason Pominville participate in scrums in front of the net?
- That Coyote totally grabbed the puck and threw it across the ice!  Cheater!  Well, at least Rick and Harry are amused by his trickery.  I like to hear RJ giggling.
- HOOOOONK!  Okay, that was MEGA rad how Goose basically just walked up to Jovanovski (who was hogging the puck behind his net) and STOLE THE PUCK WITH THE SHEER FORCE OF HIS WITHERING GAZE.  Too bad the he just fell down once he had the puck.  I think Goose was surprised that that trick worked.
Summary of events: I feel like the Sabres aren’t sucking!  They’re so chippy, and although they can’t score, they look like they’re TRYING.  I also feel like that entire period consisted of each teams neatly, and skillfully stealing the puck off the other’s stick.  Everyone was all, “Hey, look over there! *points at something in the crowd* SIIIIIKE!  I’ll just be taking that puck now, thank you very much.  SUCKER!”
Musical Act Representing This game so far: Liz Phair (I just realized how much this post will reveal my age.  Just the other day I was wondering if I should bother to figure out who Lady Gaga is, or if I should just assume she’ll go away soon.)

She’s kind of a wreck, but she’s weirdly lovable.

After the 2nd (0-0)

Mood: Concerned.  This game should be, like, 15-0 in favor of the Sabres.
Favorite Sabre: They all look the same….
Least Favorite Sabre: ….except Vanek, who looks like an invisible pile of puke.
Summary of Events: The Sabres shot the puck 45,000 times.
Observations:
- Oh for PETE’S SAKE, that was a FOUR MINUTE power play you just wasted, you goobers.
- Oh for PETE’S SAKE, we do NOT attempt to fix our bone-headed skating mistakes by taking a bone-headed penalty.  Steve Montador.
- Oh for PETE’S SAKE.  Don’t take ANOTHER bone-headed penalty on top of the FIRST one.  Hank Tallinder.
- Huh.  They killed all that off.  Good work, goobers.
- Whoa. Teppo’s wife is priddy.
- I’m officially worried that the Sabres are never going to score again.
- Dude.  Crunchy is such a spindly stud.  Three-on-ones are no match for his spindly studliness.
- Rick is outraged that Fiddler left the Predators because, “A FIDDLER in NASHVILLE?  Come ON.”  He’s got a solid point.
- Dave Tippet needs to regrow his mustache.  Stat.
- Okay, the Sabres got the puck in the net ten years after the whistle blew.  But we’re reviewing it anyway.  Let’s take this opportunity to appreciate that funny phone the refs use for times like this.
Musical act representing this game so far: Dave Matthews Band

Let’s face it, this game is a little annoying.  Tomorrow some hippie is going to come along and be all, “Duuuude, I’d rather see a hard fought 1-0 game then a 7-6 game.”  And then I will reply, “Zip it, hippie.  The Dave Matthews Band This game is annoying.”

At the end (2-1, Sabres)

Mood: Jubilant!
Favorite Sabre: CLARKE MACARTHER, also  Mike Grier
Least Favorite Sabre: Sorry Mair and Paille.  Turns out you’re just extras.
Observations of the 3rd:
-It is MONUMENTALLY irritating that the Coyotes just got a goal, but it was totally inevitable.  Now we’ll see if these Sabres have any fight in them.
- Hot DAMN.  MacArthur, I had NO IDEA you had that in you.  WOOO!  1-1!
- Oh no. Tyler Myers.  Please please please be okay.  You’re okay, big fella.
- There are very few things I love more than seeing the back of Sabretooth’s head as he watches the game down near the glass on the broadcast
- You know what I love about hockey?  How the time outs are, like, a nano-second long.
- The Sabres power play doesn’t look that awful but apparently, it is TARE. A. BULL.  The Sabres have been on the power play for half of this game.  No goals.
- Crunchy just made a save with his armpit.  He’s a master!- The Coyotes are wisely taking penalty after penalty, secure in the knowledge that the Sabres are incapable of scoring on the power play.
- WOOOOOOOOOO!  FINALLY.  Thank you, Vanek.  2-1, Sabres! (And is it just me, or is MacArthur looking taller, faster, and like we might never see Paille again?)
- Please hold this lead, you goobers.  Only a minute and a half to go.
- Holy Crap.  They won.
Summary of Events: You know what?  That was a GREAT game.  I’d rather see a hard fought 2-1 win than a 7-6 fiasco.  Heh. (But The Dave Matthews Band still sucks.)  This was exactly the kind of game that they would have DEFINITELY lost last season.  You know who I think might have been the difference?  Mike Grier.  That guy just skates around, keeping things under control, doesn’t he?

Musical act representing this game: Kelley Polar.

I know this man personally and I love him dearly.  He reads this blog, so be nice in the comments.

But please feel free to make fun of his white eye shadow.

Sabres vs Leafs 3/27/09

Pregame

Mood: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!  You know what?  I’m pumped.  I have found the conversation surrounding the Sabres to be totally invigorating lately.  I know some people look at my attitude and think I’m being grouchy (I was accused of being a negative nelly today in Kevin’s comment thread), but I just do NOT feel grumpy about the Sabres.  At all.  Since I decided that they kind of suck I’ve felt the OPPOSITE of grumpy.  I like hockey again.  I find the conversation about what’s wrong with them to be incredibly compelling, but now it’s minus all the emotional turmoil.  I feel great about hockey, and I love the Sabres.
Favorite Sabre: CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!
Least Favorite Sabre: Hm….I’m going with Tim Connolly, just cuz.
Prediction: I honestly have NO idea.  Traditionally, the game after an emotional win is when the Sabres phone it in, but Crunchy’s return might give them a nice boost.  Oh, thank GOD Crunchy is back.
Facebook Quiz representing my hopes for this game: Which composer are you?

I am NOT Tchaikovsky.  Now HE was a negative nelly.

After the 1st (2-0, Sabres)

Mood: Entertained.  Please do not misunderstand (especially you, Hockey Gods), I’m not taking this lead as some kind of indication that we are going to win, but this game feels easy-breezy so far.
Favorite Sabre: CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno.  I wasn’t paying close enough attention to notice.
Summary of events: Cujo allowed 50% of the shots he saw into his net.  Crunchy allowed 0% in.  The numbers don’t lie, people.
Facebook quiz representing this game so far: Pick 5

My five favorite movies.

After the 2nd (4-1, Sabres)

Mood: Deeeeelighted.  Man, the Leafs are fun.
Favorite Sabre: CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!
Least Favorite Sabre: All of them.  If you CAN backcheck, forecheck, play hard, and look like you give a flying flibberty floo, WHY DON’T YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME?  Jerks.
Summary of events: CuJo was like, “Why, come right in and score at will, Sabres,” and the Sabres were all, “Don’t mind if we do, CuJo!”  Then Cujo was pulled and Pogge was all, “Not so fast, Sabres.”  Then the Sabres were all, “We’re so cute and fast, doncha think?” while the Leafs easily scored a shortie.  Then Crunchy was all, “Oh, now I remember why I hate you guys.”  Then Kate was like, “WOOOOOOOOOOOO! CRUNCHY! CRUNCHY! CRUNCHY!”
Facebook quiz representing this game so far: What color is your aura?

Facebook says my aura is red but I think I’m probably a little more pinkish.  That business about “will power” and “persistance” is total bullhonky. I, um, have no idea what this has to do with this hockey game.  This post is a stretch.  A true red aura-ed person would never write this post.

At the end (5-3, Sabres)

Mood: Basically pleased.  If the Sabres win tomorrow in regulation I MIGHT allow a smidgen of hope back into my heart (maybe), but I will be sad to see this, “Aw, fuck it, the Sabres just suck” phase go.  It’s been downright therapeutic for me.
Favorite Sabre: CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!  CRUNCHY!
Least Favorite Sabre: Dude, Toni Tone Tony Lydman.  Stop taking dumb penalties.   Just.  Stop.
Summary of events: The Sabres were all, “Hm.  Maaaaaybe we want to keep coach killing after all.  Let’s let these Leafs back into the game.”  Then Goose was all, “Eff that.  Let’s win.”  And then he did his adorable happy dance.
Snack you should eat as soon as possible representing this game: Wegmans brand Green Apple Sorbet

If you see this, you should eat it.

Sabres vs. Thrashers, 3/14/09

Pregame

Remember me?  That chick who used to blog about the Sabres?   Well, I’m back baby.  Last week I meandered away from our little slug clad anti-heroes.  I just couldn’t care about them.  But then I went to the Panthers game.  My mission going into the arena was, “Don’t let them put you in a bad mood.”  I enjoyed that game immensely, and I think I probably would have enjoyed myself even if the Sabres had played themselves out of the playoff race.  A switch has been flipped in my approach to this season.  Frankly, I’m assuming they are going to miss the playoffs now, which sounds depressing on the surface, but in reality my new bad attitude has allowed me to enjoy hockey again.  The season is going to be over before we know it, and I might as well enjoy the games we have left.   It’s crappy hockey, but it’s still hockey.

Mood: Tired, dude!  I’ve been violing like it’s going out of style.  When I’m not playing the viola, I’m sewing little square scraps of fabric together.  My life is very glamorous.
Favorite Sabres: Let’s see, who is on this team again?  No, no, no NOT him, um, no, no, no, maaybe, no, no, oh HELL NO, no, nope, oooh!  Patrick Lalime!  Patrick Lalime is a hero, and don’t you forget it.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jason Pominville is just freaking me out now.
Prediction: Thrashers win 3-1.  Sorry.
Fabric representing my hope for this game: Black and gray plaid.  I have replaced the time I used to spend thinking about hockey, with time spent thinking about fabric.  I have a disease.  My name is Kate, and I’m addicted to looking at fabric online.  You can expect this blog to morph from nonsense about hockey to nonsense about fabric any day now. (Fabric and hockey are pretty much the same audience, right?)  Anyhoo, I’m predicting this game will be a boring old square of black plaid.

Black plaid isn’t really bad, it’s just a little lame.  Kind of like the Sabres.

After the 1st (1-0, Thrashers)

Mood: Unimpressed.  That was pretty uninspired.  The Sabres look tight, and they are being out worked by the Thrashers.
Favorite Sabre: Max.  I’ve had a weird burst of affection for Max since he’s returned from his injury.  It’s not like he’s been hugely effective or anything, but he often looks like the only Sabre on the ice who really gives a damn.  Sure, he usually just skates spastically around before taking a weird angle shot that deflects directly to the opposition, but whatever.  At least he looks like he’s trying.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jason Pominville is never scoring again.  I don’t think he’s even trying to score anymore.
Fabric representing this game so far: camouflage that appears in normal street clothes.

Not cute.

After the 2nd (3-1, Sabres)

Mood: Relieved.  I was getting worried that I was going to have to think of a fabric worse than camouflage and the very thought was making my head spin.  Also, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Summary of events: First the Sabres were like, “Hm.  Is a diaper worse than camouflage?  Can a diaper even be considered fabric?  Isn’t a diaper something you make out of fabric?”  But then they were all, “Hey, let’s stop trying to think of a fabric uglier than camouflage and try to score some goals.”
Favorite Sabre: Maxim Afinogenov.  You know what?  Common sense be damned.  I love him.
Least Favorite Sabre: Still Pommers, but maybe slightly less so because he appeared to TRY to score at least once in that period.
Fabric representing this game so far:

after the first goal:  Lily Posy from Baskets of Flowers

Kind of prim, but still a cutie.

After the second goal: Bluebell Posy from Baskets of Flowers

oooooh.  KEY-UTE!

After the THIRD goal: AH09 Gold from (my beloved) Garden Party

Like a ray of sunshine, Max and Vanek team up for prettiness.

After the 3rd, OT, and a shootout (4-3, Thrashers)

Mood: Grossed out, and incredibly sad for Patrick Lalime.  Poor bastard.

Summary of Events: The Sabres give up a shortie to make it 3-2.  Jason Pominville fails to clear the puck with three seconds to go, and the Thrashers tie the game.  Then, somewhere in Edmonton, Ales Kotalik chuckles wryly as twenty million Sabres fail to score in the shootout.

Fabric representing this game: Cloth diaper.

Just be glad I chose a clean diaper.

Sabres vs Hurricanes 2/15/09

Pregame

Mood: I work a lot of Sundays, so I very rarely get to sit around and enjoy a day of wall-to-wall hockey.  Today I got up, and puttered around for a few hours making to-do lists, and preparing for a day of errands, and blah blah blah….how annoying.  In a sudden and brilliant change of plans, I decided I was going to spend the ENTIRE day watching hockey.  No practicing, no laundry, no cooking (I went to Weggies and bought a rotisserie chicken this morning, so I’ve been munching on that guy), and no feeling even the slightest bit guilty about “wasting” a day. This will be my third hockey game of the day from the comfy chair.  I’m feeling downright blissed out.  (Oddly, during the Devils game, in the middle of my lethargy, I managed to do my taxes.  So, technically I haven’t done nothing today.  Taxes aren’t nothing.)
Favorite Sabre: I love how Pommerdoodle busted out of his slump on Friday, but it was Craig Rivet who busted into my heart.
Least Favorite Sabre: Vanek’s jaw.
Prediction: This game has some very serious “emotional letdown” potential from the Sabres, and after back-to-back humiliating losses the Hurricanes have GOT to be desperate for a win.  Hm…… Sabres win, 63-1.
Chore I should have done this afternoon representing my hopes for this game: Dishes

I don’t actually mind doing dishes, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at my kitchen. (That’s my gentleman caller, Dudley, in the back there.  He comes by to do my dishes from time to time.  He did not come by today.)

After the 1st (2-0, Hurricanes)

Mood: I wish I hadn’t already done my taxes.  I’d do them again if I could.
Favorite Sabre:  They all look the same.  (Okay, wait.  Mike Robitaille is cracking me up by pointing angrily at the Robistrator with his middle finger.  Robi is such a crotchety old crankpot.  He’s my favorite Sabre.)
Least Favorite Sabre: They all look the same.

Summary of events: The Sabres were batting their eyelashes all, “We’ve been lifting the hearts and minds of Western New Yorkers this week!”  And then the Hurricanes were all, “Yeah, we’re unimpressed.”
Chore I should have done this afternoon representing this game so far: Cleaned out the car.

I’ve got a lot of junk in my trunk.

After the 2nd (2-0, Hurricanes)

Mood: Totally shocked.  This game should be 1,000,000-0.
Favorite Sabre: Aw, Patrick Lalime.  You don’t deserve to have to be in this game.
Least Favorite Sabre: Derek Roy is on my nerves, but it’s probably not fair to single him out.  They’re all totally lifeless.
Summary of Events: Well, first I ate some rotisserie chicken, and now I’m eating some Wegmans Green Apple Sorbet, which I can highly recommend.  As for the Sabres, they skated around listlessly, totally lodged in their own ends.
Chore I should have done this afternoon representing this game so far:  High level diplomacy

Instead of watching this game I should have at least tried to broker peace in the Middle East.  I’m so incredibly lazy and lame.

At the end (3-0, Hurricanes)

Damn it.  I wish I had done my laundry.  I want clean sheets.

Sabres @ Ducks 2/2/09

Pregame

Mood: Sweet mother of Lindy Ruff!  EVERY SINGLE DEFENSEMAN IS INJURED!  We have a bunch of TODDLERS playing on the blueline.   PATRICK LALIME is starting! We’re totally effed.  The good news is that this game starts really late.  I love late start games.
Favorite Sabre: Spacek, I didn’t know how much I loved you until you were gone!  Waaaaaaa!  Come back!
Least Favorite Sabre: Spacek, what are you, eighty?  A hip injury is for old men.
Prediction: Andrew Peters and George Parros are going to fight and it’s going to be lame.
Duck representing my hopes for this game: Scrooge McDuck.

Remember when we were swimming in healthy defensemen?  We were all, “Oh, defensemen are a dime a dozen.  We’ve got so many of them!  We can just bench the bad ones and swim in the rest.” Well, maybe we should have been appreciating those defensemen instead of swimming in them.  Now all we have are Gragnani, Paetshchsheathschtash, Butler, and Weber.  You can’t swim in guys like that.

After the 1st (1-0, Sabres)

Mood: Pleased.  The Ducks seem content to let our team of AHLers control the game.  Fine by me.
Favorite Sabre: You know what?  I’m normally quite stingy with praise for Patrick Kaleta, and I didn’t really miss him while he was gone…..but it’s kind of nice to have him back.
Least Favorite Sabre: Why is there a pile of puke skating around out there?…..oh wait.  That’s Vanek.
Summary of events: The Ducks are acting like they’re too cool for school.  Ducks, when Patrick Kaleta scores on you, and Andrew Peters gets a legitimate scoring chance, you’re NOT cool.  You’re incredibly lazy.  Lazy, and possibly drunk.
Duck representing this game thus far: Rubber Ducky

This game is rather pleasant.

After the 2nd, (1-1)

Mood: This game is the OPPOSITE of pleasant.  Everyone is all punchy.
Favorite Sabre: Patrick Lalime, you’re doing well.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jason Pominville, when was the last time you scored?  Bad dog.
Summary of events: The Sabres decided to fight everyone on the Ducks, which would be fine by me if it weren’t primarily Sabres DEFENSEMEN fighting all the Ducks.  Dude!  Craig Rivet, THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE ANDREW PETERS FOR.   If we lose another defenseman to injury Lindy Ruff is going to have to suit up.  Lindy is foxy and all, but he’s a BIT RUSTY because the last time he played in the NHL Abraham Lincoln was president.
Duck representing this game so far: Howard the Duck

I know.  He’s EXTREMELY annoying and anyone in their right mind would punch Cory Perry Howard the Duck in the face if they could.  But Craig Rivet, you’re going to have to let Andrew Peters punch on your behalf.

At the end (3-2, Ducks)

Mood: Cranky.  I suppose it could have been worse.  It got kind of interesting at the end.

Summary of events: Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick.  Coat-a-lick…..

Duck representing this game:

Maybe the Sabres thought it was just a drill?

Sabres @ Oilers, 1/28/09

Pregame

Mood: WOOOOOO!!  I love love LOVE late night, west coast starts.  Last season the west coast road trip was one of the worst stretches of hockey we saw the Sabres play all season, and yet, those were some of my favorite games.  I’m a night owl anyway, and the late starts add a slightly thrilling element of “out of the ordinary” to the week.

It’s like a Sabres sleepover.

We’re all in our footie pajamas, eating junk food and trying to stay awake.  Staying awake for these games is a point of pride.

Favorite Sabre: You know who I almost never think about anymore?  Sweet little Pommerdoodle.
Least Favorite Sabre(s): Teppo’s face, Hank’s shoulder, and Andrej’s noggin.
Prediction: I’m going to hate watching the Oilers’ feed.
Sleepover activity representing my hope for this game: a scary movie

Freddy Krueger freaked my shit out.

Scary movies could be super fun, but I always suffered quite a bit of anxiety before watching them.  They were almost never as bad as I thought they were going to be.  Except for Freddy Krueger.  Are the Oilers Freddy Krueger?

After the 1st (3-0, Sabres)

Mood: This is the best sleepover EVER!
Favorite Sabre: Staffy!  “Moooore Braaaaains!  Uncle Barrie I waaant moooore braaaains!”
Least Favorite Sabre: Rivet’s manbits gave us a scare there, didn’t they?  We canNOT afford anymore injuries on defense.
Summary of events: Staffy showed up to the sleepover all, “WOOOOO, this is going to ROOOOOCK!” And then Paeastchaetch (who no one can even remember inviting) was all, “THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THIS PARTY, GUYS!” and then Roy-Z was all, “I’m the boss of this sleepover.  If you are a scrub,” *mean glance at Staffy and Paetsch*, “don’t get ANY ideas about thinking you’re cool.  I’M the Mean Girl around here!” *tosses hair*
Sleepover event summarizing this game thus far: gorging on junk food.

Don’t stop stuffing your face until you feel like you’re going to puke (or until the Oilers pull Roloston).

After the 2nd (7-1, Sabres.  Seriously.)

Mood: Deeeeeelighted!
Favorite Sabre: All of them!  But especially Vanek because it’s funny when he scores against Edmonton.
Summary of events: The Sabres are jumping on the beds, high on sugar and plesantly freaked out from watching scary movies.  It’s all giggly and, like, the most fun EVER.
Sleepover event representing this game thus far: crank calling teachers.

There is nothing funnier than crank calling teachers.

At the end (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9….we want 10-2, Sabres!)

Mood: That. Was. Awesome.  The Sabres dodged a MAJOR bullet by rethinking the blackout and negotiating a deal to broadcast these games.  That was my favorite game ever.
Favorite Sabre: Oh Staffy.   How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways goals.  1, 2, 3.  Three goals = a zombie hat trick.
Least Favorite Sabre: I love them all, with passion, and from the bottom of my heart.  Even Timmy.
Summary of events: Awesomeness.
Sleepover event representing this game: Someone stole the peppermint schnapps from their parent’s liquor cabinet, and now the boys from homeroom are threatening to crash the sleepover.

This night shall live in infamy.

Sabres @ Panthers 1/19/09

Pregame

Mood: I’m in a great mood today.  Full of hope.  Just ‘cuz.
Favorite Sabre: My heart says Goose, but my desire to trick the Hockey Gods into providing a second straight game which makes me say, “Huh, Timmy actually is good at hockey” says (shudder)…Tim Connolly.
Least Favorite Sabre: My heart says Tim Connolly.  So do my brain, arms, legs, and groin.
Prediction: They played an impressive and dominant game against Carolina the other night, and this is is an important game in the standings, so I’m sure we can count on them to come out strong and give this game their best effort.  I think the Stars game was a real turning point and from now on things will be differ-  AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I’m sorry, I can’t keep a straight face while saying that.

They’re going to phone it in.  This game reeks of the Sabres’ patented, “We played two good games in a row!  Surely the next three games will be easy wins.  I’m going to save my energy so that when we go to the club after the game I won’t be too sleepy.  I wonder if Florida girls have heard of the Sabres….”  I’m getting used to the Sabres now.  I have this odd feeling…like they can’t hurt me today.  (Which I have no doubt is a TERRIBLE thing to say out loud.  I’m probably inviting the Sabres to invent some new, horrific way to lose, one that will LITERALLY hurt.  Like, after the game, Andrew Peters in going to come over here and punch me in the face, or something.)  I’m just saying.  I’m looking forward to the game, but my expectations are low.
Battlestar Galactica character representing my hopes for this game: Lee Adama when he was still a pilot, but before that season when he wore the fat suit.

I really want to love this game, but I can’t because it won’t quit whining.

After the 1st (1-0, Panthers)
Mood: zzzzzzzzzz (wipes drool off chin) zzzzz  zzzz z     zz   z (yawn) zzzzzzzzzzzz z
Favorite Sabre: Ryan Miller has been great lately.  So, he missed the first penalty shot in his career tonight.  I don’t care.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jochen Hecht is fired.  I can’t exactly put my finger on why, but he’s fired.
Summary of thoughts: This game has numbed my brain.  I have no thoughts, but I do have a vague sense that hockey is incredibly incredibly boring.
Battlestar Galactica character representing this game thus far: Dualla, the boringest woman in the world.

Could you be less interesting?  No, no you could not.

After the 2nd (1-1)

Mood: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..wait…what?  AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Favorite Sabre: Whichever Panther scored our goal.
Least Favorite Sabre: Eff you, Jochen.  Eff you very much.
Summary of thoughts: I very seriously thought that this game was going to end 1-0, and then the Panthers hilariously scored an “own goal”.  I bet this game is going to go to a 45 round shooout.  We’re going to find out what Goose and Toni Lydman look like in the shootout.  I’m thinking “not good”, but I suppose I should wait until then to judge.
Battlestar Galactica character representing this game so far: Because this game is so boring, I was going to say “this rock once appeared on an episode of Battlestar Galactica”

This rock is killing hockey/television with boringness.

…but then the Panthers scored a goal for us, and my heart became filled with grumpy, grumpy hope.  So now, I think Saul Tigh represents this game.

“Argh!  I don’t even have my pirate eye patch yet. BAH! I’m a grumpy old man and I’m constantly shooting the puck into my own net myself in the foot. Arrr!”

After the 3rd

Mood: Surprisingly entertained.  This game is weird.

Favorite Sabre: Crunchy.

Least Favorite Sabre: Whatevs

Summary of thoughts: This game is completely odd.  I can’t tell if both of these teams are good or if both of these teams are bad.

Battlestar Galactica character representing this game: Baltar and Six

What the hell is going on here?

Overtime and shootout

The overtime was a hoot! (But PLEASE, Toni Lydman, STOP TAKING BONG HITS BETWEEN PERIODS!) This game got weirdly fun at the end.  The Sabres are lucky to get any points, but so are the Panthers I suppose.

Shootout: AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Roy-Z and Al score!  I can’t believe we got two points out of this mess.