HNIC Towels

I thought this story (discovered via Kukla’s Korner) was incredibly cute. Apparently, the HNIC towels that we see draped over the shoulders of NHLers in interviews are highly coveted status symbols for the players. Hockey Night In Canada keeps them under tight lock and key, and the only way to get one is to appear on camera in an interview, and the only way to get interviewed is to be extra awesome in a game. Most of the NHLers grew up watching HNIC, and the towels seem to represent a dream realized.

You can’t buy that towel at Bed Bath and Beyond.

How badly do you want a HNIC towel now? I really really really want one of those towels. Due to the fact that I’m old, out of shape, a woman, and severely unathletic, I have very little chance of becoming a professional hockey player. It seems highly unlikely that I will ever be the recipient of the coveted HNIC towel….but that didn’t stop me from imagining having it draped around my shoulders at my moment of triumph.

For some reason this story got me thinking about how my entire life, I’ve harbored little dreams that are so far removed from reality that they might as well involve me sprouting wings and flying. I spent much of my childhood preparing for my eventual career as a Minnesota Twin. My preparation did not involve playing or practicing baseball (Oh, hell no), but rather sitting around imagining playing baseball. My dream of becoming a baseball player back then was really no less ridiculous than the moment I took to covet the HNIC towel today.

Reading about the HNIC towel, I was delighted to be reminded that these childhood dreams are universal. This dream is a big part of why we watch sports, and it’s why the towels have value amongst very wealthy men. It’s nice that our little childhood dreams still have value, and it’s even better that sometimes that value is represented by something as simple as one small white towel.

No Guarantees

Let us examine the case of the 2007-2008 Buffalo Sabres:

Sabres fans, as you may or may not recall, we went through a bit of a rough patch beginning with encountering the Ottawa Senators in the ECF last spring. The rough patch continued on through July 1st, when (just to remind you) both of our previously beloved captains bolted town amidst cries of managerial incompetence from nearly every corner of the hockey media. Then, the season was up and down (mostly down), and Brian “Soupy” Campbell was traded when it became clear he could not be signed as a Sabre. Again, Buffalo lost another valuable piece of the team that had come so close to the Stanley Cup. Finally, in the season’s dying days, the Sabres were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, ending an all-around depressing year.

Now, let us examine the case of the 2007-2008 Ottawa Senators:

After losing in the Stanley Cup Finals to the Ducks, the Senators management calmly began signing their marquee players to contract extensions. One by one, Spezza, Emery, Fisher, and finally, Dany Heatley were inked to long term deals ensuring that the team would be an EC powerhouse for years to come. The season started out in spectacular fashion, with the Sens playing a record breaking 432-2-1 in their first 20 games. (Okay, I’m too lazy to look up their actual record, but I assure you, it was good.) Then, inexplicably, it all went to hell. For awhile they look merely mortal, but by December they were looking terrible. In the end, only their incredible start saved them from missing the playoffs altogether. They were eventually swept by the Penguins in round one of the 2008 playoffs.

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The Sens are essentially the same team now as they were one year ago, and HOLY COW is that scene a disaster. The Sabres essentially lost all of their lockerroom leadership from last season, and the scene is, well, it’s not quite a disaster, but it’s definitely not ideal. There’s plenty of room for improvement, let’s put it that way.  I would argue that the Sabres season was preferable to the Sens season from a fans perspective, but that’s just a matter of opinion.  The fact is, these two teams ended up in basically the same place at the end of the year: zero playoff wins.

I’m not saying that what happened to the Senators would have happened to the Sabres had we locked up all the free agents, I’m just saying it could have happened. It’s worth noting.

There are no guarantees. Ever. That’s all I’m saying.