Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re at rock bottom yet, and that’s both incredibly depressing and oddly exhilarating. How low can this thing go? What does “low” even mean at this point? Should we be rooting for a draft pick? Is down the only way up?

Who knows.

All I know is that this shit is depressing. As recently as a few days ago I thought we would be fighting against anger. I thought Sabres fans were going to rise up in cartoonish mobs of unreasonable crankiness, pitchforks and torches in hand. Now I know that that was just my Buffalo sports fan inexperience talking. No one is angry. We’re depressed.

We wish. If only it were this easy.

Anger is easy to mock, but depression is a slippery beast. Anger is focused. Depression is murky.

Last night Tyler Myers gave an interview where he was very obviously fighting back tears. He said, “This has been a devastating road trip,” and there was detectable and literal devastation in his voice.

I mean, what the eff, Hockey Gods? WHAT THE EFF. We’re supposed to be able to hate the Sabres when they suck. Last night I wanted to make Tyler Myers a grilled cheese sandwich and then cut off the crust in a way that creates a heart-shape. I wanted to rock him back and forth while whispering, “It’s okay, big guy. You’re going to be okay,” until he fell into fitful sleep. Then, this morning I wanted to put an encouraging note in his lunchbox, and promise him that today will be a better day. I can’t hate Tyler Myers. Hell, I can’t even make fun of him.

ARG! THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE.

Hey… look at that. I turned my depression into anger and then turned my anger into a joke and now I feel teeny-tiny bit better. At least my vaguely unhealthy coping mechanisms are still intact.

Last night before the game there was a not-insignificant part of me that was hoping the Sabres would lose. The reality is that the more the Sabres lose, the closer they are to a good draft pick and the higher the possibility that someone will finally get fired. Those are the facts. So, I just thought, “Go for it Sabres. Do your worst.” I thought I could handle it, but no matter how much my brain understands that losses are more valuable than wins at this point, my heart cannot understand. Rooting against the Sabres is fundamentally depressing. In between games, losing seems like a tolerable outcome, but watching it live is brutal and sad, no matter what. It’s not for me.

NOOOOOO! Fight, Sabres! FIGHT, GODDAMN IT! *sob*

I guess this is how it is now. These are confusing times. We’re lost in the Swamp of Sadness, and all we can do is wade through the muck.

We’ll get through it, Sabres fans. WE WILL.

Stupid sports.

It’s difficult to talk about the Sabres right now because we’re all so surly. Even the rosiest personalities among us are fed up and exasperated. Unlike the past five years, I’ve successfully tuned out a lot of the chatter this season. When the Sabres are this bad, I lose the taste for blogs, and newspaper columns, and radio shows discussing their many shortcomings. It’s really not in my personality to get rage-y about the Sabres, so, instead of getting rage-y, I get indifferent. Every once in a while, something cuts through the fog of my indifference and I think, “Hm. That’s a smart and reasonable position,” and it makes me feel better. Mike’s post was like that.

Mike went into a lot of particulars about his job and about the current state of the Sabres, but what I liked best about his post is that it caused me to step back and ask myself, “Where exactly do I stand? What are my core Sabres beliefs?” I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now, and here’s what I’ve come up with:

I watch the Sabres for fun. It’s my responsibility to make sure that my Sabres fandom doesn’t turn into something toxic. My response to the Sabres is more a reflection of me than it is of the team.

Now obviously, this season BLOWS A MILLION CHUNKS EACH AND EVERY DAY. You’d have to be delusional to be walking around projecting optimism and sunshine about the current state of the Stupidhead Sabres. There is absolutely NO reasonable cause for hope here. BUT, there are steps we can take as fans to ensure that our fandom doesn’t veer towards a head-on collision with Crankytown.

If you are reading this blog, I think it’s safe to say that you’re a Super Fan of the Sabres (let’s not even THINK about what it means if you’re writing this blog). People who have a healthy/casual relationship with sports do not read blogs about their horrifying hockey team. No, if you’re reading this, you’ve already surrendered some portion of yourself to the Sabres. The Sabres own a little piece of your heart, and that’s just how it is. To some extent, you and I are helpless. Since we can’t totally ignore the Sabres, the best we can hope to do this season is manage the damage they inflict.

It’s my sincere belief that things are going to get worse for the Sabres before they get better. It’s sad but true. This season is lost. They’re done. I’ve been saying for weeks (on Twitter, not here. Sorry, blog readers!) that I think Regier is going to get fired the second the Sabres finish missing the playoffs. I still believe this, and I also believe that a lot of the stuff Pegula and Black have been saying about injuries being a legitimate excuse is just something they have to say because they really don’t have any good moves at the moment. GMs get fired in the summertime, not in January. Coaches get fired mid-season all the time, but Lindy Ruff exists in some weird alternative coaching universe where nothing can ever really touch him. (The sooner you accept the weird Laws of Lindy, the sooner you’ll feel better. Just surrender.) So, the prudent move for ownership is to just wait this out, sell at the deadline, and plan for next season. Ryan Miller is right. There is no trade that can save this team. They need an overhaul.  They need at least one trade deadline, one draft, and one July 1st to fix this. They might need even more than that.

So that’s where we stand.

The bad news is that as a Super Fan you’re going to have to suffer through seasons like this, and you’re going to keep watching, and you’re going to keep reading redonk blog posts, and you’re going to keep wishing YOU HAD NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE BUFFALO SABRES. But the good news is that… well, wait… there is no good news. This blows.

Just kidding. The good news is that there ARE steps you can take to survive the season. Here are some things that work for me. This list is by no means complete, and not every suggestion is going to work for every fan.

1. Believe in the things that make you feel better.

This is not about being delusional. This is about protecting your ability to be hopeful.

The thing I liked most about Mike’s post is this:

Maybe you’re right but maybe you’re wrong. Since no one knows I’ll lean toward the side that makes me feel better.

I’ve been struggling to articulate something like this for weeks. No one knows (NO ONE) what is really going on with this team and what would solve the problem, and furthermore, fans have absolutely no control over any of it. Wouldn’t it just be nicer if we all just followed our hearts a little bit here?

For Mike, the belief that the Cup would be sweeter with Regier and Ruff at the helm has value. For me, it’s my faith in Pegula and Ted Black that makes me feel better. As a reasonable fan, you would be wise to consider what makes you feel better, and then take steps to ignore the rest.

2. Ignore the rest.

Stop reading the paper, stop listening to the radio (sorry, Mike), and for the LOVE OF GOD, stop reading this blog. (Heh.)

3. Stand by your man.

A few years ago (during one of the 10th place years), I wrote this about Jason Pominville. (BTW, that post is a good read if you want to be reminded of a.) how right I’ve always been about Jason Pominville and b.) how there’s a lot of ebb and flow with every player over the course of any long contract.) I think about that post a lot because I remember that after I wrote it I felt a LOT better about being a Sabres fan.

One of the things that makes me sad about the current environment is how often I hear people say there are NO likeable Sabres. I certainly can’t judge anyone for disliking these guys, but for what it’s worth, I’ve always had a few players that I just like, no matter what. If you have a guy that you just like, don’t give up on him now. Hold onto him tight and do it without shame.

My guys are Goose, Crunchy, and Pommerdoodle. I don’t care how hard they suck or how hard they rock. I like those guys, it makes me feel good to like those guys, and beyond that I just don’t care.

4. Listen to music while watching the games.

This one has absolutely saved me this season. A few weeks ago I found myself unreasonably irritated by the Sabres broadcast team. The details are unimportant (and completely forgettable, apparently), but for some reason that night I was all, “I would totally fight Rob Ray right now. I WOULD FIGHT HIM, AND I WOULD WIN.” In a fit of frustration, I put the television on mute and turned on some soothing tunes. Magically, I didn’t need to fight Rob Ray anymore. I calmly watched the rest of the game (the Sabres lost miserably), and I escaped relatively unscathed. Now I do this all the time. Don’t forget that even when the Sabres are horrible, music is still wonderful.

Never underestimate how much better you might feel without the Sabres broadcast team feeding you a bunch of bullhonky about how the Sabres aren’t the worst team ever.

5. If a bunch of people are screeching about something, listen to what they’re saying, and then believe the opposite.

This one is hard to explain, so bear with me for a minute.

Here is what the screeching, angry hoard is screeching these days: “NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE AND DARCY REGIER IS A MORON AND PEGULA IS JUST MORE OF THE SAME AND LINDY SHOULD BE FIRED AND I HATE ALL THE SABRES AND BLAH BLAH BLAH POOR ME I’M A SEASON TICKET HOLDER AND I’M NOT RENEWING  WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” On one hand, all of these points are totally legitimate, but on the other hand it’s just SO DUMB.

Even if the screeching is factually correct, don’t you just want to distance yourself from that? I do. I think there is almost always a completely reasonable way to counter any sports-related screeching. Here’s how I would counter the current screechers:

Um, hello? Last year, out of nowhere a billionaire no one had ever heard of bought the team and vowed to win us a dozen Stanley Cups. Then he proceeded to spend like a drunken sailor in free agency. Things DO change. Things HAVE changed. The problem here is not lack of change, it’s that the change hasn’t worked. What that probably means is that Darcy Regier is going to get his ass fired this summer. Once Darcy is fired and a new GM takes over, Lindy will FINALLY be on the clock. Yes, it is true that the current Sabres suck in nearly every way, but no, it’s not true that this will necessarily be true forever.

*Patrick Kaleta hand wash gesture*

I take pride in disagreeing with the Whiner Line dummies. If they say one thing, I say the opposite. It’s not actually so much about disagreeing, it’s more about finding the intellectual high ground. The best move is to ignore the screechers entirely, but sometimes that’s not possible. If you can’t beat them, whatever you do, DO NOT JOIN THEM.

I’m not sure that this one would bring solace to everyone, but it does for me.

5. Don’t be afraid to change your mind about Sabres-related issues.

I would never judge you for changing your mind. In fact, I’d respect you for it, because it means you’re using your brain and responding to the situation at hand, and not to some prior position which was every bit as dumb as whatever position you’re currently taking. My point is that when it comes to the Sabres, we’re all idiots, all the time. Try to mix it up a little. Variety is the spice of life!

Example: I’ve flip-flopped a million times on Lindy Ruff. My opinion changes weekly, and yet I’m quite certain I’ve never been wrong about him. Heh.

6. Watch the game in a bar.

It’s hard to pay attention to a game in a bar, and even harder to get all bent out of shape about a game you watch in a bar.

7. While you’re in that bar, drink a lot.

Alcohol helps.

8. Figure out which of your friends are Sabres-sane and which are Sabres-crazy, and choose to hang out with the Sabres-sane ones.

Everyone who is reading or writing this blog is Sabres-crazy. If you were even remotely sane about the Sabres you’d be ignoring them completely by now. If you put two Sabres-crazy people together for a game like last night things can go south in a hurry because you’re both so invested in the outcome.

I actually have quite a few friends who are Sabres-sane. These people watch the games when they happen to be in front of a television when the Sabres are playing, and while they’d certainly prefer a win to a loss they’re not going to go to a dark place no matter what. These friends are worth their weight in gold right now. If you have friends like this, you should be nice to them and buy them lots of beer.

9. Don’t judge other fans, and stop caring about the opinions of people who do.

This is going to sound contradictory in light of the fact that I just called a bunch of people “Whiner Line dummies,” and encouraged you to disagree with them on principle, but whatevs.

It really bothers me when people who sit at home (or worse, FAR WORSE, the press box) rag on the fans at the game. I work really, really hard to pay for my seats, and there is no conceivable way to care more about the Sabres than I do.  The constant message earlier this season that I was “doing it wrong” in the arena was actually very hurtful to me. I stopped giving those opinions my respect a few months ago, and it felt GREAT.

If someone puts the word “fan” into quotation marks on twitter, feel free to disregard their tweet entirely. They’re just having a douchey moment and hopefully it will pass. If the douchey moment doesn’t pass, unfollow them.

For better or for worse, we’re all in this together. There is really no reason to turn on each other. Do your best to refrain from fan-cannibalism and NO MATTER WHAT don’t let the worst of it get to you.

10. Basketball!

I know some people in Buffalo love to hate basketball, but I bet you’re not one of those people. Basketball is fun and since you don’t care about it at all (to the point where you regularly forget which teams you like), it’s a totally safe distraction from the Sabres.

I haven’t watched much basketball yet this season, but I like knowing it’s there.

11. Have your sister and her husband make you a niece.

Hi, Ruby!

This one is a little impractical because the best babies (i.e. fattest) take about nine months to prepare, but with proper timing, a new niece can do wonders to put a spring in your step.

At the risk of sounding very cheesy, now is a good time to put the Sabres in the proper perspective. Following hockey is our hobby, but I’m positive that everyone reading this has a lot of other important and beautiful things going on in their lives. Let’s dwell on those a bit.

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Well, that’s all I’ve got! Feel free to leave other suggestions in the comments. Stay strong, Sabres fans.

Let’s go Buff-a-lo!

If 0 is "We're headed to the playoff with ease, and depending on who Darcy gets at the trade deadline, I have high hopes for the postseason," and 5 is "a playoff series-deciding OT goal against", I'd say I'm at about a 3.2 on this scale of pain. I've got a definite frown in my heart, but unfortunately, I know (from experience) that it CAN get a lot worse.

I’ve spent the last few minutes trying to come up with a way to analyze this team, but despite my best efforts, all I can come up with is “shit show.” There is no area in which the Sabres don’t suck (except for the Vanek/Pominville area, I suppose). Sure, they’ve suffered a lot of injuries, but there’s still an air of nose-crinkling stinkiness that constantly wafts around this team. I’ve been TRYING to pretend like I don’t smell it, but I do smell it, Sabres. I DO.

And that, is the sum total of my Sabres analysis: They stink.

Trade everyone and fire the rest. I don’t care.

The good news is that I think we can allow ourselves to sink into comfortable resignation now.  Ted Black calls it “patience,” but I call it “emotional self defense.” We shall build a wall around our Sabres-hearts, and then these yahoos cannot reach us. I think if we carefully manage our big beer consumption, make sure to watch the games with good company, and keep our expectations very, very low, we can TOTALLY outsmart these Sabres and survive this season with our sanity (more or less) intact. We’ll just take it one game at a time.

Sooner or later (I predict this summer), Terry Pegula is going to get sick of this bullhonky, and heads will roll. We can tough it out that long. In that, I still have faith.

That Leafs game was some seriously good times. Leafs fans are annoying mothereffers, but the arena was undeniably  amazing on Friday. The Leafs fans added to our experience tremendously. At times (like, every time the Sabres scored) it was AWESOME to have so many Leafs fans there, and times I wanted to light myself on fire with rage, but the entire night was passionately experienced, which is more than I can say for most games at FNC these days.

In the past I’ve avoided Leafs games (because, as previously mentioned, Leafs fans are annoying mothereffers, but also because you can completely rip them off by selling them your tickets), but Friday was a real eye opener. Leafs games are high risk, high reward. If the Sabres had lost it would’ve been playoff-loss-level misery, but when they won it felt like no win could ever feel as good as that win. Sometimes it’s good to just lose your head during a game, and the Leafs game certainly provide plenty of opportunity for that. (Along those lines, about halfway through the game, while watching a drunk, moronic nearby Leafs fan stand up in a sea of Sabres fans [during a commercial break, no less] and do that infinitely retarded thing where he grabbed the logo on his jersey to “taunt” other fans, Robin suddenly blurted out, “I’m gonna to punch that guy.” And for a brief moment, I think she meant it. After the moment passed, we laughed REALLY hard about that one, because of all the people I know, Robin might be the least likely to punch someone at a sporting event. The fact that she was tempted to punch someone speaks volumes about Leafs fans and also about our level of emotional commitment to the game. We went all in on Friday, and our reward was sweet.)

Robin and I sit low in the shoot twice side, so the Leaf fan presence wasn’t that horrendous (visiting fans tend to gravitate more towards the other end), but I know that my friend Roman didn’t fair as well. He estimated that up in his section in the 300s, the ratio was 70/30, Leafs fans. Ew! Poor Roman! But down in our end, we were mostly okay. In fact, the closest guy to us in a Leafs jersey turned out to be a Sabres fan who had lost a bet. We discovered this when, to our complete confusion, he turned around to high five us after the Sabres’ second goal.

Me: (high fives a dude in a Leafs jersey) WTF, dude? (points to his Leafs jersey)
Him: (shakes his head sadly) It’s okay. I’m a Sabres fan. I lost a bet.
Me: Ouch. Does your skin burn in that thing?
Him: Yeah, it does.

There was a moment late in the third period when I remember thinking to myself, “No matter what happens with the final score, I need to remember how fun this game has been.” Thank you Hockey Gods, for not testing my resolve on that pledge.

I had so much fun on Friday that after the game ended I was tempted to make a pact with the devil: As long as the Sabres manage to beat the Leafs at FNC forever and for all eternity, I don’t care what else happens. But thank GOD the devil wasn’t taking my calls on Friday night because the VERY next day, I was whistling a different tune…

The Agony

I was playing a concert Saturday night, so I didn’t see much of the game. But I saw enough. I saw enough to say definitively that the Sabres are in deep doo-doo. If Ryan Miller is going to play like crap, and half the roster is going to be injured, and the other half of the roster is going to be Roy and Stafford… the Sabres are in serious trouble. Not, like, cute “we just need time to gel, but it’s okay because we beat the Leafs last night” trouble, but real, “OMG. This season will be lost,” trouble.

The thing is, the more I think about it, the more I agree with Ted Black. We need to be patient. It’s not that I think that if we’re patient this roster is suddenly going to be good, or that Lindy Ruff will suddenly figure out how to make Roy and Stafford stop sucking, or that everything will be better once Tyler Myers and Brad Boyes come back. I just think it’s going to take time to fix this team. The fix is way more complicated than we want to believe.

Personally, until Ted Black and Terry Pegula give me reason to feel otherwise, I trust them to make measured, intelligent changes. It probably wasn’t what I would’ve done (no one will ever accuse me of being intelligent and measured), but keeping Lindy and Darcy after the ownership change was the intelligent, measured thing to do. The problem is that right now, in this situation, there isn’t a measured, intelligent change available. A new coach wouldn’t suddenly heal the injured players, and a new GM couldn’t make new cap space appear out of thin air.

As longtime readers of this blog know, I’m not one of those, “Lindy should have a job for life,” people. I’ve called for his head before. Right now, I don’t think the problem is coaching, and even if I did, there is just NO WAY Lindy should be fired while his forward lines look like this.

As for Darcy: So far, this season is looking like a perfect storm of suck for Darcy. I’m not willing to argue that any of his off-season signings were disastrous on their own (okay, maybe Leino, but… I still want to believe in Leino, so dammit, that’s what I’ll do), but the cap situation is h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. The Sabres have exactly zero space under the cap right now and they are in injury hell.  The lack of cap space puts Darcy in a severely weakened position when it comes to tinkering with the current roster. Even when the plan was “cross your fingers and pray everyone stays healthy,” Darcy was still walking a very dangerous line with his cap space, but now, with all these call ups, he’s in serious trouble. This is the very definition of cap mismanagement, and in my opinion, depending on how the season shakes out, it’s a fire-able offense. But again, we’ll see.

It’s annoying as HELL to admit it, but it’s pretty difficult to fairly assess the roster with this many injuries. The intelligent, measured thing to do is to wait and see. Ted is right.

It seems to me that a lot of Sabres fans reacted to Pegula by upping their expectations dramatically without much consideration for how these new expectations could be met. I upped my expectations too, but unlike in the past, I now have faith that Sabres ownership is going to keep trying. When things don’t work out, Pegula and Ted Black aren’t going to do nothing. No, the first two and a half months of the 2011/12 season have not gone spectacularly well, but, I fully believe that they’re going to keep trying. So, if Darcy and/or Lindy need to go, I think sooner rather than later they will go. I couldn’t say that about the previous ownership.

Instead of feeling angry about the roster, I feel oddly pacified this season. It never made sense to me that Pegula could waltz in and be all, “I am a billionaire, and I want a Cup! BEGIN WINNING CUPS, BUFFALO SABRES.” That would’ve been too easy.

I believe that when Pegula took over, he gave Darcy Regier just enough rope to hang himself. Whether or not Darcy’s summertime moves have doomed him is still up in the air. I like Darcy as a person, and I love it when the Sabres are successful, so I hope things turn around here, but if they don’t, I do trust that things will change.

For now, we wait.

(But if Darcy wants to get to work trading Roy and/or Stafford, that’d be fine by me.)

By the midpoint of the game I was so certain of a Sabres loss that when Drew Stafford scored the late tying goal only part of me said, “WOOOOOOOOO!” The other part was like, “Eff you, Staffy. Don’t score a late tying goal and then expect me to forgive you for everything you’ve put me through. I can’t even look at you right now.”

Yep. It’s like that these days.

After I finished the game at 11:30pm, in an effort to be less cranky, I ate half a loaf of olive bread. Unsurprisingly (in retrospect), that didn’t make me feel better at all. When I woke up this morning I had a stomach-ache AND I still had a resounding sense of “hmph”-in-my-heart in regards to the Sabres. So, I was forced into my plan of last resort. I had to look at this picture:

I maintain that it's impossible to look at this picture and remain grouchy about something as stupid as hockey. Especially if you add a little baby rhino voice in your head that's singing a song with lyrics something like, "I am a tiny rhino, Doo dee doo dee doooo. I've got hay between my rhino toes. Tra la la la laaaa"

I’m not sure why looking at cute pictures of animals makes me feel better about stupid stuff, but it does. It’s weird because in real life I’m sort of lukewarm on animals. I like them, but they’re often smelly and they leave fur on your clothes and your couch and they’re rarely as cute in reality as they are in picture form.

In the absence of rhinos, baby giraffes will do in a pinch.

Even though I’m pretty disinterested in thinking seriously about the Sabres right now, I do feel some obligation to discuss the Sabres on my Sabres blog, so I’m going to give this a try. But let’s face it, asking Sabres fans to read blog posts about the Sabres in addition to watching the Sabres the play hockey is a pretty big favor at this point.

I’ve tried this before, and it worked pretty well, so we’re going to try again. If you read something that you find upsetting or too frustrating to bear, please QUICKLY look at one of the helpful animal photos that accompany this post. (And I should admit here that all these pictures were lifted from Cute Overload. I canNOT recommend Cute Overload highly enough for all your make-me-feel-better-about-something-stupid needs.)

Let’s begin:

Don't think too hard about the Sabres' home record. Instead, look at this small, grumpy-looking rabbit.

1. The Sabres SUCK ASS at home. Of all the ways a team can be bad, consistently melting down in front of your home crowd miiiight be the worst possible way. In an ideal world the Sabres and their fans would sign up for some group therapy so that we can figure out why our relationship is so dysfunctional, but sadly, this is not an ideal world. As much as I wish I could convince everyone in FNC to communicate with the team only use “I statements” when watching a Sabres game (accusations never work, people!), I know it can’t be done. (ex: “Marc-Andre Gragnani, when you pass the puck directly to Claude Giroux during overtime, I feel deep sadness in my soul.”) Consistently losing at home has taken its toll. There is almost no trust between the team and the fans right now. The team can fix this by ripping off about six home wins in a row. Other than being nicer and hoping that niceness somehow makes the team less spazzy, the fans are pretty helpless. The only solution is big beers, and lots of ‘em.

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2. It feels like all we ever do now is argue about who should be suspended, and for how long. Personally I take no enjoyment from this conversation. I’m not sure what the solution is here because there is just no way we’re ever all going to agree on everything Shanahan does. There is literally no way. Here are some of my answers to the burning questions surrounding suspensions and non-suspension:

Do I think some of Shanahan’s decisions have been totally wackadoo? Absoluuuutely.
Do I think Shanahan is better than Colin Campbell? Sure.
Do I think there is a vast conspiracy against the Sabres? Uh, no.
Do I think the Bruins get special treatment? Oh for fuck’s sake. I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not. This is stupid.
Do I think it’s open season on goalies Ryan Miller? Hard to say. kinda
Do I think Lucic is a tool? YES.
Should this dog be suspended for his egregious public digging?

Much like Lucic's hit on Miller, I'm sure this dog didn't mean to do it. NO suspension.

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We live in a world where this super awesome seal exists. The NHL and their hateful playoff scheme cannot take that away from us.

3. The whole league was realigned. I don’t have particularly strong feelings about the realignment (although, I secretly wanted Detroit in our division), but I HATE the current playoff format being bandied about. Please Hockey Gods, DO NOT let this happen. Why do we have to mess with a perfectly good playoff format just because the Thrashers moved to Winnipeg?

I hate the argument that hatred makes for better playoff matchups. That’s stupid. Hatred makes for more hateful playoff matchups, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be more fun or interesting. And why do we want our passion for the playoffs fueled by hate, anyway? I mean, geez. I like smiling. Smiling’s my favorite. I especially like smiling during the playoffs.

Two rounds of playoffs within the division is TOO MUCH.

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4. And about the realignment (and I acknowledge that this is just a minor quibble), but if the NHL winds up calling the new groups “conferences” I’m going to be irked. Those are divisions, NHL.

"The lady said no (to calling them 'conferences'). I'm going to have to ask you to back off, NHL."

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From now on, I'm going to look at this guy instead of watching hockey fights.

5.  This is a difficult topic for me to write about right now, but I feel the need to say something about fighting in hockey.

I was sincerely rattled by the New York Times 3-part series about the life and death of Derek Boogaard. I think this series should be required reading for every hockey fan. Please, please read this story.

I’d prefer not to debate the tactical merits or drawbacks of fighting on the pages of this blog right now, but I will say this:

I’ve spent most of my time as a hockey fan feeling pretty neutral about fighting in the NHL, but this season has really been different for me. The new information about the effects of concussion combined with a broader awareness of the depression and substance abuse problems that many of hockey’s enforcers face has pushed me out of my neutral position. I used to tolerate most hockey fights, and even enjoy a bout or two per season, but now I outright hate it, every time. I took no comfort in the fight between Gaustad and Lucic. None. For me, that fight (and everything leading up to it) was upsetting, and nothing more.

Hockey fighting is a genuinely difficult issue, so here's the back of a panda to help us get through this portion of this blog post.

This issue has really begun to effect my enjoyment of hockey. Maybe this anti-fighting sentiment is something that will come and go in waves for me. Maybe I’ll learn to tolerate fighting again. Maybe more evidence will swing my opinion in a different direction. Maybe I’ll simply find a way to make peace with fighting in hockey. Maybe I’ll stop taking fighting so seriously. I don’t know. But right now, hockey fighting really, really bothers me on a core level.

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6. This has nothing to do with hockey, but here goes:

After a lifetime of indifference towards my physical fitness (or lack thereof), this summer I began to take baby steps towards trying to get into shape. (And I DO mean baby steps. Little baby steps on little baby walks is how I started.) Then about a month ago I joined a gym and started to work with a personal trainer. I’m not sure why my mindset was different this time (I’ve joined gyms before), but for some reason this time I was able to say to myself, “Self, you’re not in shape now, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to do this even if you feel stupid at first.”

My problem with gyms in the past has always been that my pride had not allowed me to just be sweaty and out of breath. I hated the feeling of struggling within eyesight of other people. I honestly don’t know what’s changed, but this time I’ve embraced the humility involved with going to a gym. Sure, sometimes I’m kind of embarrassed when I can’t do something, but mostly I can just sort of laugh and think, “Hm. I wonder how I’ve been managing to SIT UPRIGHT all these years with this ridiculous lack of core strength.” Then, I do the plank pose for a few weeks, and I actually see improvement. It’s been pretty cool to feel myself getting stronger.

I guess I’m just saying that going to this gym has been an absolutely wonderful experience for me. If you are someone who struggles to stay fit, I encourage you to keep trying. You just never know when exercising is going to “click” and become something other than a terrible chore.

Today, one minute of plank pose without dying. Tomorrow, the world!

The Sabres are all fired. Preferably out of a cannon into the center of a volcano.

Ho hum.

Just kidding! Apparently the Sabres have NOT come to their senses and revoked my access (suckers)! WOOOOOOO! I’M BACK IN THE PRESS BOX!

Here’s a fun behind-the-scenes story:

After you enter the building, go through security, and pick up your credentials, you go jump on a big elevator which is manned by an actual elevator operator. Now, before I came to the press box on Saturday, Mike Harrington was kind enough to give me a few pointers and one of them was, “For the love of God, have your press pass visible when you get on the elevator, because that thing ain’t moving until Bill (the operator) is satisfied that you belong.” So, the first time I got on the elevator I was holding my press pass in my hand, faced outwards, about two feet away from my body. I’m not going to lie, I was worried that Bill would be all, “I’m sorry, but you appear to be a blogger. You obviously don’t belong here. Please leave the building and immediately return to you mother’s basement.” But he didn’t!

It turns out that I needn’t have been so concerned because Bill is an equal opportunity show-me-your-pass-or-get-off-my-elevator kind of guy. According to an unnamed source (I know! I’m like Woodward and Bernstein over here with my unnamed sources!), once Bill refused to move the elevator until BRIAN BURKE stopped his cell phone conversation and fished his pass out of his coat. ISN’T THAT AWESOME?!

And THAT is how you know Bill the Elevator Operator is a Grade-A badass. Also a hero.

Today when I came up, the elevator was filled with many scouts from many teams, all of whom seemed to know and love Bill. (And FYI, there’s a scout here from the Blues. Do you think David Backes wants to be a Sabres? I bet he does.)

________

I learned my lesson on Saturday, and tonight I’m dressed for the Arctic Circle. I’m seriously wearing a hat, half gloves and a wool scarf. I’m hoping I pulled off “hobo chic,” with this look, but if I’m honest I might be leaning a little more towards the “hobo” and a lot away from the “chic.” But whatevs… I’m still cold.

On Friday I’m going to bring my down sleeping bag. Maybe there’s a warm street grate somewhere up here that I can lay on during the game.

__________

Apparently if you count up all the Sabres in this picture you will find that Patrick Kaleta is not on the ice. Or, you can do what I did and wait for Twitter to tell you that Kaleta is tonight's mystery injured Sabres.

1st period

7:16pm Zzzzzz. Hockey is boring. Come on guys, this is no way to get traded to the Ducks for Bobby Ryan.

7:17pm (1-0, Islanders) Szchszhzchszhszhsura takes a high sticking penalty and then some dumb Islander scores. Szuszhsuzhchsuzhscuhura is FIRED!

7:28pm Look at this. Before the game Mike Harrington spent a few minutes showing me around the place, and he took me into the broadcast booths. First we stopped by WGR. Hi Pat Malacaro! WGR is right next door to Rick and Harry’s booth, and when I leaned over to look into their booth, they both very obediently made funny faces. (Oh BTWs, the Sabres just had a power play but they didn’t score. They, um, don’t look like they want to be traded to the Ducks AT ALL. What gives, Sabres?)

Just for the record, these are PURPOSEFUL funny faces.

7:30pm My Name is Inigo Montoya, prepare to watch me embellish a tiny bump to the noggin.

7:33pm Zack Kassian fights Matt Martin after Niederreiter hits Gerbe in a MOST unpleasant way (NEIDERREITER IS A JERK!). Kassian manages to undress to his skivvies in the process of the fight.

7:37pm Unlike the Capitals, the Islanders appear to be trying to win this game. It’s irksome.

7:42pm DANG IT! Vanek almost scores a shorty during Pominville’s holding penalty. A shorty would’ve hit the spot.

7:44 This period is almost over. I’m going to eat a hot dog at intermission. A FREE hot dog. If you want, I’ll lower some free hot dogs down into section 318. Just say the word, people of 318.

2nd Period

8:08 That hot dog was good. This hockey game snoozy. I might have to challenge Phil from Blue Black and Gold to a hot dog eating competition just to pass the time.

8:11pm Seriously, people of Section 318. I’ve got a hot dog all ready to go for you. I’ll just lower it down. Let me know if you want any cookies.

8:20pm I’ve spent the majority of this period (12 minutes gone, so far) photographing and then uploading a picture of this hotdog. I bet this is how Jerry Sullivan passes the time during a boring game too.

8:23pm The natives are finally getting a little restless. Sporadic booing as the Sabres are CLEARLY trying to impress us (and failing) with their patented “getting too fancy for the home crowd” maneuvers. Can someone please tell them we don’t like it when they do that?

8:27pm Roy kiiiind of almost scores. But not really.

8:27:30pm I will say, sitting in the press box during an uneventful game is sort of interesting. Having the desk and the computer makes it feel like I’m at home, only I’m not allowed to cheer.

8:30pm Okay, the only thing that can save this period is a Hecht shorthanded goal. Kassian is in the box with a minute and a half left in the period. Come on, Yo Yo. We need you now.

8:32pm Yaaaaay! (I’ve decided that silent, blog-only cheering is permissable in the press box.) Enroth makes a save on a little trickling puck as the period expires. Well, at least it’s not 2-0, right?

3rd period

Here, look at this. It’s a picture of Lindy that’s on the wall up here.

Right next to Lindy is this picture of Craig Rivet, the greatest Elmira Jackal, EVER.

I actually love all the stories about Craig Rivet recapturing his love of hockey in the ECHL. Good for you, Craig Rivet.

Here's a picture of the visiting press area. Apparently, during the playoffs they build some risers and there's a second row behind that one.Sad

8:51pm Okay, I’m about to make a bold prediction: The Sabres are going to win this game in regulation. It’s not like the Islander have been exactly good. They’ve just been marginally less sucky.

8:53pm OMFG! AS SOON AS I STAKE MY REPUTATION (I know, some reputation, right?! Heh) ON THEM WINNING, THE LITTLE JERKS SCORE! GOOD WORK, JOCHEN!

Sad

8:58pm Enroth just made a nice save on Tavares, which is very much appreciated because I’m now EXTREMELY attached to them winning in regulation. #Nostradamus

9:02pm I feel like Pominville isn’t good enough for Thomas Vanek tonight.

9:06pm Hey, good work, Luke Adam! He just saved a trickling goal.

9:07pm NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! One of those tricklers finally went in. If the Sabres don’t win this in regulations, well… I don’t know what I’ll do, but you won’t like it, Sabres.

9:11pm Streit penalty. This is your chance, stupidheads.

9:12pm Oh NOOOOOO, not a 5-on-3 for a minute and a half!!!! (I’m using reverse psychology. The Sabres aren’t that smart. They fall for this every time.) Oooh, and now a Buffalo timeout. If I were not in the press box I’d be saying in my Lindy voice, “Okay, here’s the plan. I want you to skate down to the goal, and then put the puck IN the net. Does everyone understand the plan?! Okay, go do it!”

9:17pm Gross. All the penalties expire and the Sabres don’t score. I guess the Sabres didn’t understand Lindy’s plan.

9:2ipm Hope is waning. Both for a win and for the Ducks wanting any of these players in exchange for Bobby Ryan.

9:24pm Oh for Pete’s sake. Poor, hapless Ville Leino is fired.

9:28pm HAHAHAHA! The islanders put themselves offside AND Tavares misses the empty net. (I’m taking my victories where I can.)

9:29pm The end. The Sabres aren’t very good at this.

Postgame

I’m back in Lindy’s room waiting for his postgame press conference because I was instructed it would be interesting if the Sabres lost. I’ll be honest, I’m a little afraid of pissed-off Lindy. I’m scared.

FYI, reporters actually use those long notepads with the spiral on the top.

Whoa. Lindy’s tie has little chicken drumsticks on it. I AM glad I stayed!

Drum roll, please….

The WINNERS of the Catwalk for Charity raffle ARE:

1. The first place winner was Melina B, and she and a guest will be attending the Catwalk for Charity! Yaaaaaay!

Melina, my advice to you is as follows:

• Plan ahead! Get yourself a designated driver or a taxi.
• Enjoy the open bar juuuust enough to get braver about approaching the Sabres but not so much that you act like a fool in front of them.
• Do NOT be shy about walking right up to Sabres and asking for a picture with them. It’s their only job at the Catwalk! Every single one of them is super nice about it! And get a picture with Rick and Harry while you’re at it!

2. The winner of the second place prize was actually my friend Elise K. Now, it’s hiillllarious that Elise won because, a.) She lives in New Hampshire and b.) She’s a Bruins fan, and c.) The only prize she cared about at ALL was the one where I call her from the stage while we play Sabres Dance, and d.) The only reason she and her boyfriend (the incomparable, MK) even bought raffle tickets was because they pitied me after the shootout loss to the Bruins on the 23rd. (I’m not kidding. Immediately after that game was over they both bought 5 raffle tickets, which was both incredibly sweet and totally amusing.)

So, Elise graciously donated her 2nd place prize back to the pool of potential winners, and (drumroll, please…)

MARY S is the winner of the Sabres tickets! WOOOOOO!

3. Elise is a professional classical musician and has played in many orchestras herself, so while she WILL be receiving a call from the stage from me, I decided to also draw a 4th place winner as well. So, SHANNON V, will be getting a personal performance of Sabres Dance via phone!

_______

I would like to thank, from the bottom of my heart, everyone who bought a raffle ticket for this contest. The Steadfast Foundation supports a truly wonderful cause, and I’m proud of the money that we raised ($425! Not too shabby)! So, thank you, readers. I wish I could send you all to the Catwalk, but this year we’re going to have to live vicariously though Melina. Do us proud, Melina.

Now, I’m no journalist. In fact, if I had to define my blog by one thing, I might define it by my complete LACK of journalistic standards. I answer to no one, and I say dumb/inaccurate/fanciful/obnoxious thing preeeeetty much every day. When I was deciding whether or not to apply for the press pass, I asked myself, “Self, can you sit in the press box like a grown up? Can you observe the no cheering in the press box rule? Can you guarantee, no matter how boring the game might be, that you will absolutely NOT throw things at Mike Harrington and/or Bill Hoppe?”

The answer to these questions was a resounding, “Um…. probably.”

So, here I am!

This seems like an adequate perch from which to throw myself if the game is truly horrible.

This should be interesting. My plan for the evening is to do what we in the blogging business refer to as, “winging it.” I have no plan. I’m just going to attempt to write like myself and try not to burn the press box down. I figure even if this evening is a total disaster, at the very least, I’ll be able to cross, “Sit in the arena at a desk and watch hockey,” off the Bucket List. This really is something I’ve always wanted to do, and I’m very grateful to the Sabres for the opportunity.

I’ll have a few things working against me tonight:

• I’ve never heard of, nor do I recognize at least half the Sabres on the roster. And let’s be honest: No matter how many free press box cookies the Sabres provide, it will never be enough cookies to motivate me to learn how to spell, “Szczhurzhcszhura.”
• My computer is old and decrepit and it might get press box performance anxiety and refuse to stay connected to the interwebs. If that happens, I’ll do my best to blog from the phone, or I might just give up and watch the game like a normal civilian (albeit without the outwardly visible rage and/or joy).
• I have a terrrrrrrrible poker face. I’m very curious to see if I can maintain my steely exterior in the immediate aftermath of a Sabres goal. I mean, what if one of the itty-bitty baby Sabres scores a goal? HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED NOT TO SMILE IF SOME CUTE LIL’ SABRE GETS HIS FIRST EVER NHL GOAL? I’ve been practicing looking bored in the mirror all week, but I think there is reason to be concerned.
• The Sabres game last night can only be described as, “spectacularly poopy” (“spectacularly poopy” is a totally journalist-y expression, FYI. They use it all the time at The Buffalo News), and due to a ridiculous list of injuries, tonight’s game has the potential to be EXPONENTIALLY WORSE. If the game tonight is anything even remotely approaching the poopiness of last night, it’s going to be extremely difficult to find ways to describe it without repetitive swearing in all-caps.

Assuming my computer holds up, check in here tonight for all your totally-useless-information need.

Let’s Go Buff-a-lo! (Uh-oh. Does that count as cheering from the press box? I didn’t say it out loud, and my face remained passive the entire time I was typing it. I need a ruling.)

Pregame

HOLY MOTHER OF LINDY RUFF. IT IS FREAKING FREEZING UP HERE.

Mike Harrington says I should blame this vent for my current debilitating coldness.

I don't like you, vent.

I already saw Rick Jeanneret and I managed not to squeal like a school girl. So far I’m being very professional.

As some sort of perverted, sick joke on the press (good work, Sabres) the Sabres have provided an ice chest full of delectable ice cream treats, which no one in their right mind would eat because it's -45 degrees in here.

I’ve been sitting here a good half hour now, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in the arena this early. I usually don’t even leave my house until 25 minutes before puck drop, so this is all very exciting and new. Did you know the teams stretch their groins and then skate around in circles, shooting pucks at an empty net before the game starts? I sure didn’t.

(Just kidding. I totally knew that.)

Here are some team-provided statbits which I should probably pretend to read. For appearances.

Here's a picture of the press box row. Waaaay down on the end is Mike Harrington and Bill Hoppe pretending they don't notice me taking their picture.

According to Twitter, Drew Stafford is the mysterious injured forward. On one hand… bummer. But on the other hand, at least it’s not Vanek or Pominville. Amiright?

I really can’t believe how many Sabres there are here who I don’t know by number. And just as an aside, the name “Szczechura” reminds me of grilled meat. Is there a “Szczechura region” of China known for their delicious, meaty cuisine?

1st Period

7:08 Huh. Sabres look great on their 1st power play but fail to convert. Don’t the Caps realize they’re playing an AHL team? Sssh. Nobody mention it. Maybe they won’t notice!

There’s a guy wearing a Briere Flyers t-shirt right beneath the press box. I might throw some free press box popcorn at him.

7:17 I’m seriously considering stealing some hotdogs out of the hotdog warmer and putting them in my pockets for warmth.

7:26pm I really didn’t think it would be this tricky to figure the game out, but I have no idea who any of these Sabres are. If I didn’t have the line-up right in front of me, I’d be sunk.

7:27pm (1-0, Sabres) HAHAHAHAHA! Luke Adam just scored and I literally raised my arms INVOLUNTARILY. I canNOT believe I just did that. Thank God I didn’t utter any involuntarily “WOOO”s. Seriously, I’m like biggest press box rube EVER. I wonder if anyone noticed. I’m thinking not. Surely I’d've been led out in handcuffs by now if someone besides @3rdManIn saw that. Pretty much every blogger that has come before me in the press box has said, “Oh yeah, not cheering is no big deal.” I’m here to tell you, they were either lying or on emotion-dulling drugs. Being in the press box is HARD, you guys.

7:32pm Now I’m scared to move for fear of revealing my apparently-uncontrollable-fan-y ways.

7:33 The Caps are coach killing. There’s no other explanation. I can’t believe how bad they look.

7:37 (2-0, Sabres) Pommerdoodle scores! AND, I didn’t react at ALL. Being in the press box is totally easy.

2nd period

8:03pm Wait what? The Caps look like they are trying to score. That’s no way to kill a coach, you guys.

8:05 Sekera takes a slashing penalty. Thankfully the Caps remember that they are trying to kill their coach and accomplish nothing.

8:12 Blooper reel time.. @3rdManIn is unimpressed.

8:15pm (2-1, Sabres) WHAT? Jason Chimera gets an unjust penalty shot when Ehrhoff trips him up on the way to the net. I miiiight’ve been looking at twitter at the time of this play. I call it “unjust” because the crowd booed. You can always trust the home crowd to make the right call in a situation like this.

8:15:20pm (3-1, Sabres) Zack Kassian is a hero! Not only did I NOT cheer, but I think I furrowed my brow a little bit on that one just to show how much I was NOT cheering.

8:19pm The Amerks are way better at hockey than the Capitals.

8:20 Sabretooth has his little drum right underneath the press box and is leading the crowd in a rousing redition of “Let’s Go Buff-a-lo!” Would that I could, Sabretooth. Would that I could…

8:21pm The Sabres are allowed to take about 15 different slow motion shots while many Caps just stand around. It’s reeeeeally going to be embarrassing when the Sabres find a way to lose to this team.

8:25ish Everyone takes lots of penalties but nothing much happens. Again, I’m stunned by the suckiness of the Caps. (MEMO TO THE HOCKEY GODS: I am well aware that the Caps are capable of getting good at any moment.)

8:36 Semin is a diving diver who dives. Leino is a tripping tripper who trips. 4 on 4 to end the period.

3rd Period

8:57 (4-1, Sabres) Luke Adam again! Is Bruce Boudreau fired yet?

9:04pm My computer is now completely unresponsive. I think it’s watching the Caps and getting ideas about coach killing.

9:05 Ovechkin just missed the net by about 15 feet. I laughed out loud. I have no idea if laughing at the opponent is acceptable press box behavior. I’ll risk it.

9:12 The Sabres keep bring more and more pieces of paper filled with statbits for me to pretend to read.

9:16pm The crowd is irate because apparently the Caps are now allowed to tackle the Sabres. But the Amerks are SO GOOD, they just turn the Caps’ non-penalties into scoring chances, no problem.

9:18 Kassian takes a high sticking penalty, but we don’t mind because he’s awesome.

9:19 (5-1, Sabres) WE ALSO DON’T MIND BECAUSE HECHT GETS A BREAKAWAY FOLLOWED BY A SHORTHANDED GOAL. (I might’ve smiled wryly on that one.)

9:23 My eyes are tired from looking from my phone to the ice. Being in the press box is hard.

9:26 Roy-Z closes his hand on the puck like no one has ever closed his hand on the puck before. Caps on the power play. The Amerks yawn in terror.

9:27pm Hecht ALMOST scores another shorty. Press box or no, I would’ve had to throw my bra onto the ice if he had been successful.

9:29pm Game over. The Amerks are never losing again! (And the Caps are the worst team in the history of time and space.)

After the game

I’m now sitting in Lindy’s press conference room waiting for something to happen. Bloggers are not allowed in the locker room, which as a general policy I think is lame, but in my particular case, I think is a wise decision on the part of the Sabres. The last thing anyone wants to see is me asking Szecszhurazrachura, “So, has anyone ever mentioned that your name looks a lot like the word Szechuan? And as a follow up to that: what’s your favorite kind of meat? And as a follow up to THAT: How awesome is Zack Kassian?”

Highlights from Lindy’s press conference: The team is calling him “Chewy” because literally no one wants to try to say, “Szchzschszhura.” Understandable if you ask me.

In conclusion

Being in the press box is a hoot and the Sabres are never going to lose again.

The game was definitely exciting. The loss was really disappointing, but I think you have to give a lot of credit to the Bruins. That is a seriously good hockey team right now. In my opinion, the Sabres played well enough on Wednesday to beat most teams most of the time.

On one hand, I thought the vibe in the arena at the beginning of the game was pretty gross (the fans wanted blood, and they weren’t afraid to ask for it), on the other hand, it was a very engaged crowd, and that’s always fun. Going into the game, I was a little worried that the crowd would be hostile towards the Sabres, but I think the Sabres’ physical play early in the game won over all but the most determined-to-be-angry people. (Just as an aside, “daaaaang, yo,” to the people who brought the “Shanahan Declares Open Season” sign and then held it up underneath the flags so that every player was basically staring right at it during the anthems. Dang. That was hardcore.)

And while the Sabres lost the game, I hope the vengeance-howlers feel satisfied (enough) with their “pound of flesh.” (Just as an aside: From now on, the only person allowed to use the phrase “pound of flesh” without an enthusiastic eye roll from me is William Shakespeare.)

I thought Goose and Lucic’s fight was stupid and pointless. But… I suppose that fight had to happen? Something about The Code, blah blah blah? Good for Gaustad for taking one for the team, I guess. On a personal note, I was glad they got it out of the way early. After they got the staged fight out of the way (and Goose wasn’t killed. I’ll admit, I was sort of scared Goose would be killed), I was able to relax and enjoy the game.

Here are a few little observations:

• Hockey (the part where they skate around, hitting each other and shooting the puck) is a great sport. I hate the fighting, but I love the hitting, and the Sabres looked good in that department. Please feel free to hit like that more often, Sabres.
• I was surprisingly pleased to see Jochen Hecht out there. I was surprised because I can’t think of even one time this year when I’ve thought to myself, “You know what the Sabres could really use right now? Some Jochen Hecht.” And yet, I found his presence very reassuring. I thought he looked good. Welcome back, Yo-yo!
• Speaking about Hecht, one of my favorite plays of the game was when he kind of awkwardly slid into Tim Thomas in near-slow-motion. The people in our section good-naturedly reacted as if Jochen had just delivered a thundering hit, and it was a nice moment of comic relief.
• T.J. Brennan didn’t really grab my attention (except for his hilariously-skivvy mustache and his first ever NHL goal), which is really the best case scenario for a rookie defenseman.
• I’m not sure if it was just my mood (and my desire to stay emotionally even-keel), but I really found myself marveling at the Bruins a few times during the game. I hate those guys passionately, but they’re really good at hockey. Especially that Chara guy.
• I don’t feel too concerned about this yet, but the Sabres REALLY need to stop giving up two goal leads. The Bruins are probably the best team in the league right now, but still. The third period was icky. I wonder if too much energy was burned earlier in the game on “being physical,” because the Sabres just looked completely gassed for the third period. Giving up the third Bruins goal felt like an inevitability.
• It’s interesting to note that with all the pregame talk about the importance of “responding physically,” it was the Sabres’ inability to lock it down with a two goal lead that did them in.
• Because of my self-imposed internet exile, I had no idea that Kaleta was out, and incredibly, I didn’t notice it until the middle of the 2nd period. I’ve always been a bit lukewarm on Patty’s game, but I was surprised to realize that apparently I forget all about him as soon as he’s out of my direct line of vision.
• Gerbe is so fun.
• I feel like the Sabres had a scouting report on Thomas in the shootout that just didn’t pay off. They all went in to the net slow and then tried to get all fancy with 45,000 moves before a weak little backhanded attempt. Private to Vanek and Pominville: you guys are just supposed to slap it in. (I haven’t seen any replays of the shootout, so my recollection of how everyone shot the puck might be wrong. But regardless, in the arena I was definitely like, “WTF, you guys. No turkey for ANY of you. Except Enroth. He can have turkey.”)

In the end, the Sabres responded physically… but they still lost. So, I dunno. I’m just glad that game is behind us. Hopefully now the games will return to the normal level of intensity for mid-November. I’m curious to see how we view this game at the end of the season once we have the ability to put this Boston game in the proper perspective.

You know what’s really going to hit the spot tonight? Some leftover turkey and a comparatively low-key game against the mighty Columbus Blue Jackets.