Dear Current Sabres,
As you know, Chris Drury had a short-lived, but very important tenure as Kate’s Favorite Sabre. I’m sure you are also aware that Drury made a mockery of his title by becoming a loathsome Ranger on July 1st, 2007. There is no doubt that the office of Kate’s Favorite Sabre has suffered a terrible blow to its credibility, but in the interest of healing and cohesiveness, we here at TWC feel it is important to move forward with dignity. In troubling times, Kate looks to her Favorite Sabre for guidance and reassurance, and in the absence of a reigning Favorite Sabre, the entire fandom is in jeopardy.
This season will undoubtedly be a transition year for the office of Kate’s Favorite Sabre. Certainly no player could ever be expected to step in and fill the role of such an influential predecessor; but while Chris Drury’s reign was at times magical, it was also devastating in its ultimate conclusion. The future Favorite Sabre will have heretofore unheard of opportunities to reestablish the integrity of the office, and to shape the tenor of Kate’s future fandom. Kate’s vulnerability to influence has never been higher, which is why it is so important that the right player is chosen to fill this, the most holy of hockey titles.
Kate appeals to you in a time of desperate need. Who amongst you possesses the winning qualities that will usher her out of the Chris Drury era, and into an era of hope, dignity, and passion?
Interested parties should send a resume, a headshot, and a $50 fully refundable check to:
Her Royal Majesty Katebits
5th player, viola section
Kleinhans Music Hall 14201
Thank you in advance for your interest. I am sure you will agree that it is your duty as a Sabre to step forward and offer whatever comfort you can to your most loyal and loving fan, H.R.M. Katebits.
Tim Laudner (Original Favorite Player)
Chief Officer of Correspondence
Office of H.R.M. Katebits