Rally Beards

I finally sat down and watched Saturday’s game this morning. (In the interest of full disclosure I kept one eye on the muted game while I practiced scales.) Did anyone else notice that none of the guys have shaved in the last few days? I think it’s clear that there is some sort of team “no shaving while under .500” shenanigans going on. It’s kind of cute actually.


Scene: The Sabres are sitting on the team bus, depressed after the loss to the Hurricanes. The bus is quiet with the tension of their disappointment and frustration.

Crunchy: We’re just not playing as a team.

Timmy: (rolling his eyes) No shit, Sherlock.

Goose: (looking up from his crossword puzzle) Shut up, Timmy. He’s right.

Roy-Z: (nearly hysterical) WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.

Pommers: (kneeling, facing backwards on his seat so he can talk to Goose who is sitting behind him) Hey! I know! Maybe we should get, like, super awesome tattoos or something. We could all get Sabres tattoos! Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Soupy: No, Pommers. That would not be awesome. Some of us don’t have contracts for next year. If I’m not going to be a Sabre next year, I don’t want a Sabres tattoo.

Pommers: (whimpering) But, Sou-

Crunchy: (loudly interrupting) Be quiet! Both of you!

(long pause)

Roy-Z: We need to think of something that we can all do that will bring us together. Something cool.

Goose: (Yawning and scratching his scruffy face) We could stop shaving until we win a few games.

Pommers: Yeah! Great idea Goose!

Goose: (fist bumping Pommers) Thanks, buddy.

Roy-Z: Yeah. I suppose we could try it.

Timmy: Whatever.

Crunchy: It can’t hurt…………I’m in. Yo-yo, you game?

Yo-Yo: Ja.

Crunchy: (folding his hands) It’s all set then. (pause) Nobody tell Staffy or Sekera.

Pommers: (giggling) You’re mean, Millsie.

Crunchy: Yes.



In my mind, the Sabres relate to each other like a pack of high school girls.


6 Responses to “Rally Beards”

  1. 1 Heather B. October 30, 2007 at 1:02 am

    Pommers: (kneeling, facing backwards on his seat so he can talk to Goose who is sitting behind him)

    Perfect. So perfect. I also like Timmy’s slightly disinterested attitude. I don’t know what’s really going on (not that this is a perfectly believable scenario!) but I do know that I enjoy my Sabres scruffy. So I’m with Timmy: Whatever!

  2. 2 Sam October 30, 2007 at 9:31 am

    That was my favorite image, too – Pominville’s head poking over the seat back while Lindy Ruff seethes in the driver’s seat. All that was missing was the bus blowing by Chris Drury in a cloud of dust as he stands forlornly at a bus stop outside a dark, dismal building with a sign reading “The NYC Club”.

  3. 3 Pookie October 30, 2007 at 9:51 am


    Great post! (And great comment, Sam!) I’m feeling really sorry for Staffy, though. Being excluded and all. Little does Crunchy know he’s doing his own facial hair experiement — growing little Blackbeard beards out of his unibrow, complete with lit fuses.

  4. 4 Katebits October 30, 2007 at 10:08 am

    Ha! I didn’t even think of cranky Lindy driving the bus! That’s hilarious! Now, every time the Sabres lose I’m going to imagine Staffy sullenly twirling his eyebrows into little peaks on the bus home. Hee!

    Pookie, I feel bad about Staffy too. I noticed that he didn’t have much of a beard when i watched the game, so I turned it into a joke. I think it’s more likely that he’s not be able to grow a beard than the guys excluded him. (Sekera on the other hand looked clean shaven, which made me feel bad for him.) I think that Crunchy is just scared of Staffy’s potential ability to grab power away from him.

  5. 5 Schnookie October 30, 2007 at 11:56 am

    This is EXACTLY how it played out, I just know it! There’s no way this isn’t how they interact! And Sam, the NYC Club? Pure, unmitigated genius.

    Now I’m always going to imagine Staffy with braided, beribboned eyebrows with lit fuses in them. Thanks a lot, Pookie.

  6. 6 Pookie October 30, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    Now I’m always going to imagine Staffy with braided, beribboned eyebrows with lit fuses in them.

    Mission accomplished.

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