I finally sat down and watched Saturday’s game this morning. (In the interest of full disclosure I kept one eye on the muted game while I practiced scales.) Did anyone else notice that none of the guys have shaved in the last few days? I think it’s clear that there is some sort of team “no shaving while under .500” shenanigans going on. It’s kind of cute actually.
Scene: The Sabres are sitting on the team bus, depressed after the loss to the Hurricanes. The bus is quiet with the tension of their disappointment and frustration.
Crunchy: We’re just not playing as a team.
Timmy: (rolling his eyes) No shit, Sherlock.
Goose: (looking up from his crossword puzzle) Shut up, Timmy. He’s right.
Roy-Z: (nearly hysterical) WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
Pommers: (kneeling, facing backwards on his seat so he can talk to Goose who is sitting behind him) Hey! I know! Maybe we should get, like, super awesome tattoos or something. We could all get Sabres tattoos! Wouldn’t that be awesome?
Soupy: No, Pommers. That would not be awesome. Some of us don’t have contracts for next year. If I’m not going to be a Sabre next year, I don’t want a Sabres tattoo.
Pommers: (whimpering) But, Sou-
Crunchy: (loudly interrupting) Be quiet! Both of you!
Roy-Z: We need to think of something that we can all do that will bring us together. Something cool.
Goose: (Yawning and scratching his scruffy face) We could stop shaving until we win a few games.
Pommers: Yeah! Great idea Goose!
Goose: (fist bumping Pommers) Thanks, buddy.
Roy-Z: Yeah. I suppose we could try it.
Crunchy: It can’t hurt…………I’m in. Yo-yo, you game?
Crunchy: (folding his hands) It’s all set then. (pause) Nobody tell Staffy or Sekera.
Pommers: (giggling) You’re mean, Millsie.
In my mind, the Sabres relate to each other like a pack of high school girls.