They Can’t Possibly Suck This Hard, Part 1

Dear Ryan Miller,

Thanks for keeping us in the games over the last few weeks. Sorry your teammates are in such a stifling offensive drought. You deserve better.

I have a question for you. Please don’t take it the wrong way.

When the Stanley Cup was in Lansing this summer, did you by any chance touch it, or in any other way……violate it? I’m not accusing you of anything, I swear. I’m just wondering.


H.R.M Katebits


6 Responses to “They Can’t Possibly Suck This Hard, Part 1”

  1. 1 Heather B. November 12, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    Ryan claims he didn’t touch the Cup but the Hockey Gods don’t seem to care. Honestly, he may as well have grabbed the Cup, hugged it to his chest, and given the HGs a double middle finger salute.

  2. 2 Schnookie November 12, 2007 at 10:51 pm

    Dear Katebits,

    How shallow do you think I am? Would the best professional goaltender I can possibly be prematurely touch the Stanley Cup? Yeah. I didn’t think so.

    *Death glare*,

  3. 3 Amy November 13, 2007 at 8:44 am

    I kind of picture Drew Miller chasing his brother around the Miller house with the Stanley Cup (kind of like how a little boy would chase a little girl around with a worm or something), all in an effort to freak his brother out about getting too close to the Cup.

  4. 4 ccomfort November 13, 2007 at 9:14 am

    I can picture them waiting till Crunchy fell asleep, and taking compromising pictures of him with it…

  5. 5 Katebits November 13, 2007 at 11:47 am

    Courtney, now I have this hilarious image of Crunchy inadvertently cuddled up with the Stanley Cup in his sleep. Drew put the Cup in his bed, and the next thing anyone knew, Crunchy had wrapped his arms around it- like they were born to be together.

    Of course, that lead to the inevitable Planes, Trains and Automobiles, “Those aren’t pillows!” moment.

  1. 1 I Knew It! « The Willful Caboose Trackback on November 18, 2007 at 10:37 pm

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