“I’ll just worry about my plate, what I’m eating, and not what everyone else is having. It’s definitely helping me out.”
– Ryan Miller, discussing his decision to stop trying to lead the Sabres in the locker room.
Good Lord! No wonder they were losing so many games earlier in the season! With Crunchy attempting to control what everyone else was eating, the entire team was starving.
Listen, Crunchy. You may be able to survive happily on yogurt-covered raisins, steamed broccoli, and non-fat/sugar-free granola bars, but the rest of the team needs to eat food. No wonder Thomas Vanek was so listless out there! He barely had the strength to hold his stick, much less score goals. No wonder Pommer’s coat was getting so brittle; he was clearly not getting enough protein.
I’m so glad Crunchy came to his senses before the Sabres completely wasted away. That rosy glow we’ve been seeing on their cheeks is more than just the happy flush of victory, it’s also a sign that the players are being properly nourished again. Now that Toni Lydman can eat all the raw steak he wants, I expect his play to improve dramatically.
From now on, Crunchy is just going to worry about his own skinny jeans.