Archive for December, 2007

Happy New Year! (In a Good Way)

Well, this is turning into quite an exciting few days.

Last night I met Crunchy and Staffy at the concert, and tomorrow I’m going to the Ice Bowl! I can’t quite find the right angle for blogging about encountering the real-life Sabres, so I’ll just say this: both of them were incredibly nice, patient, and generous about dealing with the orchestra members. I was able to meet and get pictures with both of them and it was an extremely fun evening. I can highly recommend having the Sabres come to your workplace. (I seriously wanted to offer Ryan Miller half of my BFF locket, and Drew Stafford is a very compelling little zombie. Heh.)

And tomorrow is the Ice Bowl! I was already pretty much spazzing with excitement, but then I read this post on The Ultimate Sports Roadtrip, and now I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep tonight (yet another reason why going to the Ice Bowl sucks).


Inner Child Katebits is Pleased

Guess who got to play the Ronan Tynan concert tonight? That’s right! Inner Child Katebits!

I played the concert. Actually, I more or less, crashed the concert. My dear friend Janz got permission from our conductor, JoAnn Falletta, for me to simply pull up a chair and play along. It was all done outside of the laws of seating charts, union rules, and normal protocol. I really wanted to play the concert, and in the end, no one could think of a reason why I shouldn’t. So, I played!

Inner Child Katebits had an awesome time tonight. Take a minute, and try to imagine what it would be like to have Staffy and Crunchy wandering around at your place of employment. Yeah. It was a super fun day at the office.

I can’t believe the Ice Bowl is still yet to come (…even though it’s going to be totally LAME. If you can’t go you are SO LUCKY). Due to the incredible reversal of fortune for Inner Child Katebits, I’m starting to think that if I publish all of my little hopes on the internet, they’ll eventually come true. (Just in case the internet is magical, I would like to state for the record that Inner Child Katebits really wants world peace, an end to poverty, and a Wii.)


One thing I’ve found very interesting about suddenly being a hardcore hockey fan is observing how I respond to the losses. Last night, I took the loss against the Devils very hard. I was seriously bummed and very fretful. Tonight, however, things are different. I’m not fretful at all….I just hate the Sabres with the burning passion of a million red-hot suns. (Except you, Crunchy. And you too, Goose. And a little bit I don’t hate you either, Toni Lydman.)

Fans of Arrested Development might remember the episode where everyone was saying “I don’t know why, but this is it.” That’s how I feel tonight. I don’t know why, but this is it, Sabres! THIS IS IT!

(That is, of course, until you win again.)

(*in Cartman voice*: God, I hate you guys.)


Dear Crunchy,

Great game last night. You totally deserved a win. If it’s any consolation, Marty Brodeur is on my fantasy team, so even though the Sabres lost, the Fancy Bits still got a win.



Dear Rest of the Sabres,

Listen, Crunchy doesn’t do 1-0 shutouts. That’s asking too much. And don’t tell me, “But, but it was Marty Brodeur“. I know it was Marty, but you still have got to score more than one goal for Crunchy. This one is on you guys. I think you need to buy Crunchy a present to make up for squandering his awesome game…..something handmade and special.

Someone should learn how to knit, and knit him a new skull cap. Pommers, get on that.



PS- I can’t wait to see you on Tuesday! Make sure to keep an eye out for me. I’ll be the one who looks really cold.


Dear Thomas Vanek,

It’s time to give away some money. It’s time to give away a lot of money….like a million dollars.

Look. The contract is clearly effecting you. Just give some money away. Pick a cause that is meaningful to you, and unburden yourself. Help some people out. You can give away a million dollars and still be a really rich man.

You’ll feel better. I promise.



PS- If you give away a million dollars, I promise to never call you a slag-faced whore again. (Unless, I suppose, you give your money to the Coalition for the Advancement of Slag-Faced Whores annual fund raising drive. I hate CASFW. If I get one more call from them asking for money…….)


Dear Drew Stafford,

I don’t understand how a brain-eating zombie can be concussed. Please explain.


PS- Ever since I learned about your concussion, I’ve had a funny image of you wandering around Buffalo dazed and disoriented with a bandage around your head. It would really make me happy if you wore a bandage like this to the Ronan Tynan concert tomorrow night. Of course, I won’t be there to see it, but still, I would love it tremendously. I think a head bandage would look great with a tuxedo. Feel better soon!

HeatherB Appreciation Day!

It’s HeatherB Appreciation Day!

World famous blogger, and undisputed Sabres authority, HeatherB, suffered a devastating injury last week. She was attacked by an evil patch of black ice, which caused her to fall and practically break her ankle clean off. There are many totally lame consequences to having your ankle brutally violated by black ice, but the worst one seems to be that you’re not allowed to attend the Ice Bowl. Poor, Heather!

Heather’s husband, MarkB (in a saintly display of solidarity), has decided not to attend the Ice Bowl either; which leaves them with two Ice Bowl tickets to spare. They could sell them for a nice profit, but because they are very good people, hockey lovers, and friends, they have offered them to ME! That’s right! I’m going to the Ice Bowl, baby! (Where I’m sure I will be miserably cold and unhappy. I’ll probably spend the entire time wishing I was in my nice warm home…..with my ankle elevated.)

I am so excited! (But I’m also sure that the Ice Bowl will be totally boring and ultimately disappointing. People who don’t have tickets or who are otherwise disposed should be feeling extremely relieved.) I’m so touched that the B family thinks I’m a worthy recipient of the tickets. I promise to uphold the values of the B’s, by holding a sign that says “Tally Ho” with an arrow pointed down at myself for the entire Ice Bowl. Hank shouldn’t be deprived of his support system just because Heather’s ankle has been compromised.

In honor of HeatherB Appreciation Day, I would like to present Heather with this megaphone:

“Mark! I’m bored and I can’t reach the remote. Also, my ankle hurts and my tea is tepid! Mark!”


….and, of course, the highest award that can be bestowed upon a fallen blogger, The Heather Cup:

Each year, the names of bloggers who have shown remarkable courage and generosity in the face of intense assitude are engraved on the Heather Cup. Both Heather and Mark will have a full day to eat cereal/yogurt raisins/margaritas out of the Cup.

Whoa. Christmas.

I am still in Minneapolis, but I will be returning to the land of the Sabres tomorrow. Christmas this year was non-stop parties and cooking and merriment. Good times, but, oh Nelly, do I miss Buffalo and hockey and Center Ice. I think when I get home I’m going to have a marathon viewing of the Devils game followed by both DVRed Flyers games. Last night, because I was involved with hosting the last holiday party of the season, I didn’t even have a minute to wonder what was going on with the Ottawa game. Well, I’m glad I didn’t spend too much energy fretting about that one. Stupid Senators!

The Senators Who Stole Christmas

This might sound crazy, but I don’t love it when the Sabres are streaking. Don’t get me wrong, I never sit down to watch a game thinking, “I hope they lose this one, this streak is freaking be out,” but I’m suspicious of streaks. So, now the streak is over, the Sabres can win against the Devils and the Penguins, and then cruise into the Ice Bowl feeling confident, but not invincible. Perfect.

Be Well, and Safe, and Joyful

Enjoy your Christmas, people of the interwebs!

…A Blog About the Buffalo Sabres

Observations 2
I can be reached at: willfulcaboose [at] gmail [dot] com

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