So, there was an All-Star game last night. I thought it was pretty boring until the last three minutes, which were admittedly fun. It was interesting to see the players get competitive after 55 minutes of watching them skate around like little old ladies. Soupy got a bunch of points, sooooo, that should really help smooth things over in his contract negotiations. Mostly, I was underwhelmed with the All-Star weekend. It was fun to see the players acting like real people, having fun and joking around, but the hockey part was kind of lame. Hockey doesn’t really lend itself well to a watered down “let’s not get hurt” version. I like the idea of a midseason break, but I think the NHL should just give up the ghost and show us some kind of three-day reality show starring the All-Stars.
In spite of all of its flaws, the All-Star weekend did produce one truly awesome result: The Throne Series
This situation with the throne is rife with unintentional comedy.
Photographer: So, okay guys, you’re Kings. Not L.A Kings, but you know, real Kings. Leaders of men. You are powerful and strong and virile. I want you to sit down on this red throne. You are a KING! You are a stud upon your throne. Now, I want you to hold this hockey stick. This is your scepter. This stick is a symbol of your power as a man. Got it?
Vincent Lecavalier: Done.
Daniel Alfredsson: I am uncomfortable with this game.
Zdeno Chara: I’m going to take this opportunity to make Katebits love me. She thinks she hates me now; in fact, she booed me the last time we were in Buffalo. But I’m pretty cute. She’ll see.
Brian Campbell: Where am I? Don’t let unsightly veins veins veins ruin your life. Sweat must be stopped! Seriously, though. Am I wearing a fanny-pack?
Patrick Kane: I am your Elvish Prince!
Ryan Geztlaf: I was born to sit on this throne. Ladies, remove your shirts.
Alexander Ovechkin: That’s right….dance, jester. Dance.
Tomas Vokoun: This is bullshit. Stop trying to make me pose with an obvious phallic symbol. I won’t have any part of this. Act like an adult. (Sighs dramatically) I hate you guys.
Tomas is right. Grow up, people!