Unless I call in sick (which is still totally possible because I think I might have SARS), I won’t be able to watch the game tonight. I’m just writing to remind you that THE BRUINS USE BLACK MAGIK. They are not to be trusted. You must not allow their trickery to distract you from scoring goals. I think we can all agree that you have taken plenty of shit from the Bruins already. Enough is enough.
He’s a witch!