Favorite Sabre: I am highly concerned about Brian Campbell’s willingness to seriously participate in this game. In order to encourage at least one more night of his loyalty to the slug, I am naming him my current Favorite Sabre. That’s right, Soupy. We are nothing without you. Nothing.
Least Favorite Sabre: Ales Kotalik. I don’t even mean this. I totally like Ales. That was a heartbreaking mistake against the Rangers. I’m all nervous tonight. I’m saying and doing things I don’t mean.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: One small felt owl
Prediction: I don’t have a good feeling about this one. I’m sorry, but as delightful as their run has been, Philly is just not going to lose forever. They might suck, but even the suckiest Suckersons win one occasionally. I think the atmosphere at the arena is going to be weird. Everyone is all confused about who is who, and which team who plays for. Plus, the game is on Versus. Ew.
After the 1st (3-2, Sabres)
Mood: 1.Happy 2. Joyful 3. Elated 4. Annoyed 5.Suicidal
Favorite Sabre: Myself. I’m not sure you guys realize how much impact I have on the play of Derek Roy. Derek Roy is on my fantasy hockey team, The Fancy Bits. On the evening he returned to the Sabres lineup after his shoulder injury, I forgot to take him off of the F-Bit bench. He went on to score, like 45 goals that night. Wonderful for the Sabres, frustrating for the F-Bits. Every since then, I have kept Roy-Z on the bench, only playing him he is literally my only center playing a game. So, basically, my fine F-Bit managing skillz are directly responsible for Roy-Z’s fine play of late. You’re welcome.
Least Favorite Sabre: Danny Briere. I’m sorry to report that Danny seems to be playing for the Philadelphia Flyers tonight. Whaaa? When did THAT happen? Danny Briere is, like, the worst Sabre ever!
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Large metal owl
My hope is not pretty, but if necessary, it will peck your fucking eyes RIGHT out.
Prediction: I dare not say a word.
After the 2nd (3-2, Sabres)
Mood: This game feels angry and pissy and no fun.
Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I hate them all.
Least Favorite Sabre: I dunno. I love them all.
Animal representing my hopes for this game: Scary owl