Bad News

I have some very upsetting news for you guys. You might want to sit down.

Listen, I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but, the Sabres are going to lose tonight. I don’t know the specifics yet about how this loss will occur, but I can guarantee that it will be frustrating/demoralizing. This will be no ordinary loss. There will surely be some element of “painful irony” or, “poetic justice” (shudder). By day’s end, we will be cursing our parents for bringing us into this wretched world, and the Sabres for existing, and the Hockey Gods for pouring salt on our gaping wounds.

“But Katebits!”, I can practically hear you shouting at your computer, “Just last night you promised Lindy that you would be less pessimistic, and here you are, not 24 hours later, predicting disaster!” What you don’t understand Dear Readers, is that this is NOT pessimism; this is realism in the face of indisputable evidence that the Sabres will surely lose.

You see, I will be in attendance at the game tonight. Live and in person. Katebits against the Capitals. The Sabres’ record with me in attendance currently sits at 1-513-4.

I’m sorry loyal Sabres fans. I bought these tickets in September, when playoff races were but a distant twinkle in our eyes. I had no idea the havoc my presence would wreak on the team. I wish it were different, but it’s not.

I predict 43-2, Caps. And yet, in spite of this horrifying and inevitable conclusion, I move valiantly forward with a spring in my step and a spirited hope. Where there is hockey to be played, and a ticket in my hand, I will be there. Perhaps today is the day that the Hockey Gods take pity on my tattered Blue and Gold heart. (Highly unlikely, but theoretically possible, I suppose.)

Go Sabres!


13 Responses to “Bad News”

  1. 1 Jennfer March 5, 2008 at 1:11 pm


    If it looks like they are taking a turn towards the pathetic attempt at playing hockey, you must leave the arena at once. I know you don’t want to, but as a true Sabres fan, you must make a sacrafice for the boys.

  2. 2 Zach March 5, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    I too used to be like you and cursed the Sabres every time I walked into the building. I even went two nights in a row during that disastrous homestand in January of the 2005-06 season. Then I went to the Ottawa game two years ago. The one where Briere put in the game-tying goal with 20 seconds left. Have been 2-1 since including Game 2 of the Philly series. Things happen, fortunes change. I think tonight is your night.

  3. 3 kathee March 5, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Kate, I am right behind you on the slide of despair. I just don’t see Ovenchicken having a bad night tonight, which can only mean Crunchy’s focus must be on his next hairnet choice.
    Can I take a “Zero” on watching the game? I don’t think I can do it. :(

  4. 4 danielleia March 5, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Yes, I think along the lines of Ovie getting 5 or 12 hat tricks. If you get 3 hat tricks in a row… is that a turkey? Sometimes Katebits, in a weird twist of fate, the world works with us and when you attend the game today we will win.

  5. 5 Steph March 5, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Not to mention I’m going to be there and the Caps seem to do well when I watch them – then again that also seems to be limited to Fleischmann and Jurcina, at least one of whom will be scratched – AGAIN! – tonight, so perhaps I can’t bank on this after all.

  6. 6 Shari March 5, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    I just don’t see Ovenchicken having a bad night tonight,

    HA! I thought I was the only one that called him Ovechicken!
    Kate, from over here, it sounds like you may be having a relaps of SARS. Hmmmm, maybe you should stay home and rest?

    Anne, Max with the sweater tucked in = Hot.
    Even hotter when Ales does it.

  7. 7 Shari March 5, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Hey, look at that, it’s the dysfunctional twin Shari!
    What did she do with meeeeee? And what the heck happen to Teppo??

  8. 8 Anne March 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    Well I watched the other 3 games in which we beat them this season. However, going on my recent Caps games watching, if I watch tonight, Ovenchicken (ha, I love it!)will get 9 goals and we will lose 512-1.

  9. 9 SlugLuva March 5, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Listen Katebits, I too will be at this evenings game so don’t fret! You see, the boys never lose when I am there (well except for that whole Winter Classic debocle (sp?) and really, I don’t even think of that as a real game….it was the Winter Classic for Crunchy’s sake! Oh, and it really wasn’t a loss either…a point it a point, right? So there you have it…they lose for you and win for me…I smell a shootout!

  10. 10 Becky March 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Double whammy – I haven’t been to a regular season win in years, despite attending many times…I’m going to be there tonight too.

    But maybe THIS time it’ll be different…

  11. 11 Lauren March 5, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    Katebits – I’m afraid we can’t be friends anymore. I paid good money for my ticket tonight, and I was hoping for a win.

    On the plus side – did u see how good Pommerdoodle looks in those DonateLife clips they play at the arena? And, Staffy was looking pretty good in his segment and of course the Goose who always looks good..

    However, I feel that I will spit on Lydman if I ever see him on the street after the way he played tonight

  12. 12 SlugLuva March 5, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    Oh Hell……..

  13. 13 Glenn March 5, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    Kate, you are hereby banned from all future games by order of His Majesty Glennbits. Sorry it’s come to this…

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