In Defense of the Wings

[EDIT: I wrote this post in about half an hour, under very rushed conditions, which is something I am not used to doing. When I got home from work tonight, I reread the post and changed some stuff. I’m not sure what the proper protocol for changing a blog post hours after the fact is, but after a little hemming and hawing, I decided, aw hell, it’s my blog. In the interest of pretending to stand by my work, I am adding this disclaimer: I have fixed [some of] the typos, and softened the tone of the original post.]


I’m going to delay the “Sid or Geno?” post for a day or so because I am moved to defend the Red Wings, who most of you seem to be rooting against. I understand that the Penguins are the sexier choice, especially if you are under the age of 53 (the average age on the Red Wings roster), but I really must insist that you whipper-snappers take a good look at the Wings before you cast them aside. These old dogs are still feisty. Now, please don’t take this post to mean I will be cheering against the Pens in the Finals. I genuinely like both teams, but for today, I will focus on my affection for the Red Wings.

I now present three rock-solid reasons to love the Red Wings.

1. Chris Osgood:

Chris Osgood is an adorable nerd. We’ve been over this already.

I know, I know, all you Wings haters are squawking “He’s a DIVER! He’s a DIVER!” Totally true. The thing is, that dumb butting/slashing/diving scene was so undignified on so many levels that I have decided to ignore it all together. I’ve wiped the slate clean. I took a Forget-me-not, and forgot the whole thing. The most important thing to remember about Chris Osgood is that he’s a soft spoken, good humored nerd. He probably writes poetry, and love songs. The OTHER thing to love about Chris Osgood is that he wears a plain, non-hideous helmet, unlike pretty much every other goalie in the league. [EDIT: I removed something from this paragraph that I didn’t like after a little reflection. It was too mean. If you are dying to know what I removed, email me, and I will tell you. Otherwise, you can go ahead and assume the worst: I was advocating eating puppies, but now I’ve changed my mind. :P]

2. Pavel Datsyuk’s head:

I stole this image from The Battle of California

Of all the things, on all the hockey blogs that I’ve read this year, this side-by-side comparison of Pavel Datsyuk and a candy corn from The Battle of California might be my favorite. Pavel Datsyuk’s head is shaped exactly like a candy corn, and I love him because of it. When the always hilarious RudyKelly wrote the post containing this brilliant observation, he was trying to use this as evidence against Datsyuk, but his plan hideously backfired. I now love Datsyuk almost exclusively BECAUSE of his candy corn shaped head. (Interestingly, there’s a comment from me on the original BoC post claiming outrage. I think I must have been trying to impress RudyKelly at the time. That comment is a gigantic lie. I’m not offended, I never was, and I love Datsyuk’s candy corn head. [Sorry, Rudy])

3. They’re so fucking juggernautty.

Normally, I HATE teams who always win (for example, if you are not from New England, and you rooted for the Patriots this year, I think you are probably a tool), but there is something about these Red Wings that I love. I want to believe in this Red Wings team. I want to believe that some hockey teams don’t choke, and don’t bend under lofty expectations, and really are as good as they seem. I’m sure I will hate them next year. As soon as they win the Cup, I will hate their guts, but I’m kind of in the mood to see a genuine juggernaut kick some ass. I want to be awed, and the Red Wings seem like the best bet in that department.


24 Responses to “In Defense of the Wings”

  1. 1 Meg May 21, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    I like the Red Wings. Mostly for two reasons: 1. Lidstrom and 3. They were all on my fantasy team this year. Datsyuk’s candy corn shaped head is a good reason as well though. :D

  2. 2 Meg May 21, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    In other news, it’s a good thing I don’t work with numbers, as I clearly can’t even count to 2.

  3. 3 Jennifer May 21, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    I’m torn between the two of them. I just can’t pick a favorite, but likewise, I’ll hate them both once next season gets ready to start. I like having some hockey to occupy my time, but they aren’t MY boys, none of them are Sabres!!!

    I know a lot of people hate Osgood, but I just love him to death. He is such a quiet, nerdy looking guy, not the “typical” sports jock. He’s so cute, in a toddler kind of way, but I do find his strangly attractive.

  4. 4 Pookie May 21, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    Since this was the year of me discovering a love for lots of superstars, it’s only appropriate that this would be the year that I also want to see a juggernaut acting like a real juggernaut. Heh. And candy corn heads. I want to see that too.

    Meg, your counting skills just make you a great choice to lead a Monty Python-style Spanish Inquisition!

  5. 5 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 21, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    I don’t particularly care who wins, as long as it’s a good series, but if I had to pick someone to root for, it would definitely be the Wings. The main reason is probably that I just reflexively tend to root for the Western Conference team (unless, y’know, it’s an icky team like Vancouver or Anaheim,) but while I have nothing against the Pens, I can’t shake the feeling that they play like a collection of 17-year-old prodigies who are each just going for the flashiest move, the fastest, lap around the ice, the most egregious dive (yes, Sid, you win,) etc.

    Detroit is a team. I don’t get the sense that there’s a single guy on that squad who gives a damn whether he wins the Conn Smythe, the Vezina, or even the Lady Byng. They just want the Cup, and they’ll put aside all personal considerations to win it as a team.

  6. 6 Shari May 21, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    If I was really stoned, I might notice that Pavels head was shaped like candy corn. Otherwise, I never in a million years would look that long at him and come up with that. Maybe someone WAS stoned and eating candy corn when they noticed that! I wonder how many other players have heads that are shaped like food? I wonder if mine is?
    I feel a flashback comming on. Damn the 70’s!
    Hey, my son has Pavals stick, luck to Pavel!!

  7. 7 Katebits May 21, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    Meg, your hilarious counting skillz just made my night!

  8. 8 Heather B. May 21, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    Meg, I thought you were just setting us up for some kind of joke :P

    Sam, I think Sidney Crosby would hand over every individual award he’s won or will win for a Stanley Cup. Malkin, Fleury, and Gonchar are important of course but if they win it’s going to be because Sid willed them there.

    That said, I think the Wings are taking it and right now I’m okay with that because of Nicklas Lidstrom. He’s the bomb diggity, yo.

  9. 9 Katebits May 21, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    Detroit is a team.

    Sam! I totally agree. I love the well-oiled machine thing they’ve got going on.

    That said, I agree with Heather too.

    Sigh. I’ll never be able to choose.

  10. 11 Patty (in Dallas) May 21, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    RudyKelly’s candy-corn comparison made that day that I read it. That Rudy’s a stitch.

  11. 12 Katebits May 21, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    Aw, Patty! I’m sorry! I felt like I was betraying you by writing this!

  12. 13 Patty (in Dallas) May 21, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Oh, Katebits! I’m just kidding! Stop worrying.

  13. 14 Katebits May 21, 2008 at 11:40 pm

    Thanks, Patty. I’m a total worrywart today.

  14. 15 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 21, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    I once had to change a blog post after the fact. Only in my case, it was because the very powerful man in charge of a very prominent concert hall in Europe read the original post and threatened to ban my orchestra from ever playing there again. (And I was actually trying to be nice about the hall in the original version!) My music director had to write a letter of apology claiming that I was an uncontrollable loose cannon…

  15. 16 Katebits May 21, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    Sam, I actually thought of you when I was hemming and hawing over the edits! I remembered that story! The thing is, in this situation, I just thought my original post was kind of stupid. Am I under some kind of obligation to stand by the crap I write that I think sounds stupid six hours later? I might be. I honestly don’t know.

  16. 17 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 22, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Am I under some kind of obligation to stand by the crap I write that I think sounds stupid six hours later?

    Nope. Bucky Gleason changes his tune every other day – why shouldn’t you? I also had to reedit a post a few months ago when I utterly slammed a fairly prominent music writer (in the comments of my blog, it should be said) for a damagingly inaccurate profile she wrote of my orchestra a few years back, which prompted a very confused phone call from said writer. Turns out someone else wrote the piece I was thinking of, and I’m the jackass…

  17. 18 Heather B. May 22, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Oooh! Oooh! Another reason I wouldn’t mind the Wings winning is because Lidstrom would be the first European captain of a Cup winning team. I’d love that to happen and I’d love it to be him.

  18. 19 Heather B. May 22, 2008 at 12:23 am

    I forgot!

    My music director had to write a letter of apology claiming that I was an uncontrollable loose cannon…

    This cracked me up. I’m shocked to learn that Kate would hang out with such a hooligan!

  19. 20 Katebits May 22, 2008 at 12:31 am

    Oh, Heather that is a GREAT reason to root for Detroit. I forgot about that!

    Sam is SUCH a menace to society! :P (Sam, thank you for sharing all your stories of hooligan blogging!)

  20. 21 CrotchetyOriginalSam May 22, 2008 at 8:14 am

    Another reason I wouldn’t mind the Wings winning is because Lidstrom would be the first European captain of a Cup winning team.

    Don Cherry would, of course, get about a year’s worth of Coach’s Corner rants out of that fact…

  21. 22 Chaz May 22, 2008 at 8:26 am

    I’m with Patty on this one. As a diehard Avs fan, I must shoot myself before ever cheering for Detriot. I’ll just wait here patiently in the corner for a Pens post.


  22. 23 Dan(in Lake View) May 23, 2008 at 12:33 am

    You know about my love of the Wings. I have recaptured my love of the Red Wings. Prior to moving to Buffalo I was a die hard Wings fan.

    I don’t know what happened. I drifted away from them. I think it might have been the Yankee syndrome, meaning they have all the money in the NHL and can do whatever they want with it.

    Then there was the Sabres. I found it hard to not root for them living here. The Wings were clearly back on the shelf. Well, now I’m back to the Wings. Do I know their players as inside and out as I did in 97?? No. Do I still pull out my Yzerman jersey and wear it for games?? You bet.

    Am I a fair-weather fan?? I’ve been accused of that but I don’t think so. I was a Wings fan in the lean years of the early 80’s, when Yzerman was still a teenager. Yes I remember those days.

    Go Red Wings. And knock that punk Sid out and mess up his pretty lips.

  1. 1 In Defense of the Penguins « The Willful Caboose Trackback on May 22, 2008 at 2:21 pm

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