Welome to the Family, Portland Pirates!

Shiver me timbers…whatever that means.

While I’m sad that the AHL team won’t be in Rochester, I like that the Sabres won’t have to share a team with the yucky old Panthers, and I LOVE the new Pirate theme. I’m pretty down with pirates, and definitely prefer them to amerks.

The Portland Pirates have two mascots. Meet Crackers and Salty Pete:

Crackers and Salty Pete = obviously badass.

So, by my very scientific and thoughtful calculations (good mascots, absence of Florida Panthers), I give this new marriage between the Sabres and the Pirates my TWC Stamp of Approval. I’ve been hard at work this week, approving and denying approval right and left.


18 Responses to “Welome to the Family, Portland Pirates!”

  1. 1 danielleia June 10, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    Two mascots? That’s, like, double the fun!

    And, you mean that when I am older, I shouldn’t go into debt by purchasing obscene amounts of Manolo Blahniks and get STD’s by sleeping with countless guys? That was my life plan! Sex and the City gave me false hopes. Boo.

  2. 2 Katebits June 10, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Hee! Well, the plan worked out SO well for Carrie Bradshaw! I really can’t argue with her success. :P

    For some reason I REALLY like that the pirate’s name is “Salty Pete”.

  3. 3 mcguffers June 10, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    This hurts Kate. Really hurts. How can you like a Pirate more than an American?? Pirates steal Kate. They rape, murder, and pillage. No one likes a pillager, Kate. No one. Except parrots cause they’re spineless followers. Ya wanna know what your Pirates were before they were murderers? They were Skipjacks. Baltimore Skipjacks. Lame. And before that? Erie Blades. No one likes Erie, Kate. How many Calder Cups has your new franchinse won? One. One Kate. The Amerks have won 6. 8 if you count our years as the Pittsburgh Hornets. In fact our last Calder Cup was won against your thieves of the sea. So if you’re ready to drop the Moose and I just like that, we’ll be fine with our Panther. Cause ya know who would win a fight between a Saber tooth and a Panther? The panther, Kate. Saber tooths are extinct. Don’t be silly.

    Oh, and totally agree with Carrie! WTF?! Maybe it’s my extreme lack of patience with men that makes two months a long term relationship with me, but NO ONE is worth the crap Big put her through!!

  4. 4 Katie June 10, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    So I just saw Sex and the City tonight, and I couldn’t agree more! It’s not exactly a good message to send to the single females of the world that it’s more than okay to jump right back into the arms of the man who has pretty much put you through hell. However, the shoes were to die for! =P

    And I think “Salty Pete” may be the best mascot name ever.

  5. 5 danielleia June 10, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    Salty Pete is a front. He looks so happy. And I think Maine is a little racist. Come on… Cracker? That’s so insulting.

  6. 6 Shari June 10, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Shoes. Let’s get some shoes. Yeah, I always thought Big was kind of a dink. She only wanted him because she could never get him. Low self esteem? He was good in bed? No, no. He had the Manolo money!
    I feel her pain. Just bought a pair of Banana Republic sling backs I just had to have! But! They were 30% off AND I had a coupon!!
    Hello Lover!

  7. 7 Pookie June 10, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    Salty Pete’s mustache is INTENSE.

  8. 8 Schnookie June 10, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    I’d take Salty Pete over Big any day of the week.

  9. 9 Katebits June 11, 2008 at 12:45 am

    mcguffers, I’m sorry! It’s just that, I need to forget about the Amerks! Put them out of my mind and move on! (Your comment made me seriously laugh, though.)

  10. 10 grrrreg June 11, 2008 at 5:53 am

    If you like pirates, you’ll love the amazing performance of the Latvian band at the last eurovision song contest, a few weeks ago.

    Inexplicably, they did not win. The Eurovision song contest is my favorite tv show of the year. It’s just unbelievable, and it makes me so proud to be european.

    With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey.

  11. 11 twoeightnine June 11, 2008 at 8:55 am

    You had me at rape, murder, and pillage…

    It’s going to be incredibly strange for the News here in Rochester, they’re going to have to cover both the Sabres and Amerks as home teams.

  12. 12 Katebits June 11, 2008 at 9:16 am

    You know, until I wrote this post, and got comments from mcguffers and twoeightnine, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to the Rochester perspective.

    Is this going to make people in Rochester feel less attached to the Sabres? Are you all going to be Panthers fans now?

  13. 13 ToonTom June 11, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Felt like sharing this. If you know anything about our geography up here, it’s even funnier.


    I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
    I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
    But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
    And bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”

    I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
    “Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
    The government, the promised me a measly little sum
    But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum.

    Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
    I’m gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!!!

    Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
    Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
    It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

    Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at
    But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
    I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
    I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

    A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
    Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a’quiver
    Cause they know that Captain Tractor is waitin’ in the bay
    I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

    And it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
    Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
    It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

    Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
    He followed on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
    But cutbacks were a’coming and the Mountie lost his job
    And now he’s sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

    A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
    I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)
    Sailin down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
    If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

    Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
    Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
    It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores

    (*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
    (*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
    (*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
    Well, Pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
    I hear in North Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
    They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
    And you’re sure to loose your stetson if you have to pass their

    Well, winter is a’comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
    My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
    I’ll be back in springtime but now I have to go
    I hear there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico!

    Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
    Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
    It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores…x2

    When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores…x2

  14. 14 twoeightnine June 11, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    Honestly, no. People here like the Amerks but they love the Sabres like they love the Bills. You see 500 Sabres hats (of the Labatt Blue variety) for every Amerks hat. They haven’t been drawing well because of the quality of the team and the owners. I would say that this might even increase area ticket sales for the Sabres because we’ll no longer have the cheap option of seeing the future Sabres take the ice.

  15. 15 Erin June 11, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    I, for one, am totally going to miss the Sabres/Amerks affiliation. It was an added level of interest to go to an Amerks game and see Clark McArthur or Sekera or Funk as they came up and down from the Sabres. At the last Amerks game of the season alot of people were there just to see Kaleta (who was out with a hurt arm- jerk). I’m really bummed that things couldn’t be worked out with the Amerks, it’s too bad to see such a long relationship broken up.

    I think we are definetly going to see some even deeper slumping attendance for the Amerks (assuming they even have a place to play in).

  16. 16 blitzen June 12, 2008 at 12:15 pm


    Grew up in Edmonton, my people have been farmers for millenia, and now am a bureaucrat in Ottawa (that once worked for Revenue Canada) so I get all of it. Hilarious – thanks for sharing.

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