Farewell Civilization

Tomorrow I go charging off into the woods of New Hampshire to perform and teach at the fantabulous Apple Hill Center For Chamber Music. I love going to Apple Hill each summer, really I do, but it does have two maaaaajor drawbacks.

1. Internet access is suspect. I’m told that this year, for the first time ever, Apple Hill is awash in wireless internet access. I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve been promised things before. I can make no guarantees about posts from Apple Hill. It’s possible that you’ll see a post everyday, as if I was still sitting in Buffalo, but it’s also possible that I’ll go totally off the grid. Sometimes, things get a little “Into the Wild” at Apple Hill. While there, I’ve been known to grow a huge mountain man beard, and tromp around the forest foraging for nuts and berries for my morning cereal. If I turn into Swirly-eyed-bearded-Crazy-Mountainman-Katebits, I’ll probably be too busy writing my anti-technology manifesto to blog about hockey.

2. Nature everywhere. I make jokes about my mountain man beard, but in reality, I am not a naturey kind of girl. I mean, sure, I like to look at nature. I can appreciate a beautiful sunset. I like to take the occasional stroll through the woods. But Apple Hill is, like, complete nature immersion. It’s not camping, but it’s pretty close. One year, I had a bat in my cabin shack. A bat. I was living with a vampire, people. (Actually, the bat shack produced one really funny story. I was lying on my bed in my shack, talking to my friend Ashley on my cell phone. I was wearing drawstring shorts which I had untied because I was about to go get ready for sleeps. Suddenly, there’s a flying rat swooping around, clearly out for blood. The shacks at Apple Hill are very small, so being trapped in there with a bat is akin to being trapped inside a small walk-in closet with a bat. aka, totally uncool. Being the brave stud that I am, my instinct was to leap to my feet and flee the shack, screaming in terror. So, about half a second after the bat attacked, I was standing in the pitch dark outside of the shack, with my untied drawstring shorts around my ankles, hysterically screaming into the phone at my friend Ashley in Portland who thought I was being ax murdered. She was all, “DO YOU NEED ME TO CALL 911?! KATE?! TALK TO ME! OMG, WHAT’S WRONG?! ARE YOU ON FIRE? STOP, DROP AND ROLL! STOP, DROP AND ROLL!!” Heh.) What I’m telling you is this: Tomorrow night, when you are enjoying your cable television, and your Guitar Hero, in your mosquito-less, bat-less homes, please think of me, shivering and terrified in my weirdo little shack. The first night is always the worst. After I make it through the first night without being murdered by nature, I start to relax, but I can assure you, tomorrow night I will be whimpering and compulsively rocking back and forth. Send me your positive vibes.

Bat Shack 3

I’m not kidding. This is where I will live for the next two weeks.

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23 Responses to “Farewell Civilization”


  1. 1 kevin June 16, 2008 at 11:37 am

    If you see any rednecks playing a banjo and looking at you…

    RUN.

  2. 2 Katebits June 16, 2008 at 11:54 am

    But, Kevin, EVERYONE in New Hampshire is a redneck playing a banjo and looking at me! It’s a nightmare!

  3. 3 Jennfer June 16, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Yikes! Watch out for poison oak (& bed bugs). :)

  4. 4 danielleia June 16, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    “I’m not kidding. This is where I will live for the next two weeks.”

    I’m so sorry…

  5. 5 Amy June 16, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    I’m not kidding. This is where I will live for the next two weeks.

    And I thought the accommodations at my old Girl Scout camp were primitive.

    Watch out for poison oak (& bed bugs)

    In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson, “Leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of four, eat some more.”

  6. 6 jonhoepfinger June 16, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    I’m sure since you are a star blogger now, your accommodations, will be much better. Like that fan will be twice as big.

  7. 7 Jennfer June 16, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    And I love what they’ve done with the closet area there in the center of the back wall, with the hangers on it. It’s so…. simple, yet effective.

    My 10 year old will be going to 4H Camp this summer for the first time and she is excited, but scared to death of where she’s going to be sleeping. She doesn’t like bugs of ANY kind (and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be too fond of the rednecks w/ banjos either).

  8. 8 Kathee June 16, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Oh noooo! Kate, don’t eat anything that isn’t prepackaged! :)

  9. 9 Mags June 16, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    *hugs* Bring bug spray. Lots and lots of bug spray.

  10. 10 Pookie June 16, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    In the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson, “Leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of four, eat some more.”

    My friend was once trying to remember the poison ivy rhyme and said, “Leaves of three… um… get it out of your yard.”

    Have fun, Katebits! You never know, maybe that vampire bat might be Staffy disguise.

  11. 11 Schnookie June 16, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    I am suffering some serious cognitive dissonance reconciling “chamber music” with “bat shack”. This is why Bathole Camp is my favorite camp EVER. Have a great time!

  12. 12 Dan(in Lake View) June 16, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Yikes!!! And this year you don’t get to miss any work! Be safe

  13. 13 Shari June 16, 2008 at 9:42 pm

    Ahh, it’s only two weeks. I just watched Into the Wild the other night. It was a good movie, I cried through half of it!
    Just remember, bats are harmless, shy, misunderstood little creatures. Don’t swat to hard at them! Have fun and happy teaching!

  14. 14 Patty (in Dallas) June 17, 2008 at 12:46 am

    People drive for hundreds of miles just to get a look at a bat in Austin. And they don’t get any chamber music to go with it!

    You’re going to have a great time! Be sure and take lots of pictures.

  15. 15 Patty (in Dallas) June 17, 2008 at 12:47 am

    Also, you know, if they decide they want to toss that table, call me first.

  16. 16 Courtney S.F. June 17, 2008 at 11:20 am

    I feel for you, I really do, but if it makes you feel better you can think of me living in a dorm with 50 teenagers.

  17. 17 blitzen June 17, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Yer gonna miss both the entry draft and the start of free agency??

  18. 18 elise June 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    KATE! humph. as a citizen of New Hampshire, i have never even touched a banjo.

    also, i write you from the swift and enduring wi-fi at APPLE HILL. i must admit that the dude who SUPPLIES the wi-fi is curiously akin to your NH native description. he does wear a lovely cologne, though…

    see you soon!!!!!!!!!! and Go Celts!

  19. 19 nate June 17, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    holy.crap! have fun, not too much fun, but enjoy the wilderness.

  20. 20 piece_of_etc June 16, 2009 at 11:24 am

    revisiting this page and still highly outraged


  1. 1 Hijacking The Caboose « The Willful Caboose Trackback on June 25, 2008 at 1:01 pm
  2. 2 Housekeeping « The Willful Caboose Trackback on June 14, 2009 at 11:04 am
  3. 3 I’m BACK, and I’m Better Than Ever « The Willful Caboose Trackback on June 30, 2010 at 5:24 pm

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