One of the things that amuses me about my new fascination with sports is that I have very little context in which to place all this new information. This has created a funny situation where I’m purposefully approaching sports from a rather quirky angle. I mean, even if I stay ravenously interested in sports for the next twenty years, I’ll still never be “caught up”, so why even bother? I like how I can digest this stuff at my own pace and according to my own tastes.
Take Friday for example.
I was listening to the radio and some guy filling in for Jim Rome was interviewing a football player named Tony Gonzalez. Now, I’m sure that many of you have heard of Tony Gonzalez, and you probably have a variety of opinions about him and his football playing. Friday was the first I had ever heard of this guy, so it was with some interest that I listened to him talking about his non-legal, spiritually binding marriage, and a crazy story about saving a guy’s life by administering the Heimlich Maneuver in a restaurant. (Weirdo commitment ceremonies? Heroic deeds? A vegan football player? Sign me up, Tony Gonzalez!) I totally liked what I heard from Tony Gonzalez, enough so that I decided to look him up this morning on the interwebs.
Here’s how my “I want to learn about Tony Gonzalez” process went:
1. Google him. Results: Meh. Boring. This is all about football. Ew.
2. Google image search him. Results: Hmm. Interesting. Tony Gonzalez is fetching.
3. Read his Wikipedia page. Results: Totally boring. This is not the information I seek.
4. Go to SportSquee to Read “The Girls’ Guide To Football: Kansas City Chiefs” Results: Rats! There is no such Girls’ Guide! I poke around SportSquee until I realize there is no one besides Margee that I trust to tell me the truth about Tony Gonzalez. (The question being: Is he actually cool? Or is he secretly lame?) I’m sure she knows the truth, so I emailed her.
5. Wait around for Margee to get back to me. (I’ll let you know what she says.)
It’s an amazing age we live in, isn’t it?
In short, I am the type of sports fan who spends tons of money on sports. I read and write about sports everyday. I very carefully assess the sports media, and I have clear ideas about what I like and what I don’t like. I think about hockey almost every single day even though it’s July; at the same time, I have no idea where ESPN is on my cable dial and I almost completely ignore my local paper’s extensive coverage of my favorite sports team.
One of the things that I like about sports is that it is news, but it’s not really that important. I keep one wary eye on politics and international news, but I’m a bit embarrassed to say, I only do it out of a sense of duty. I feel a certain grim responsibility to keep track of the real news. I don’t feel this sense of responsibility towards sports. I follow sports because I enjoy it, and if I ever stop enjoying it I’ll simply stop paying attention, and I’ll do so without a single speck of guilt.
I love how all this adds up to getting to turn to SportSquee when I want to get to the bottom of the situation. Just to be clear, I’m not being even remotely sarcastic. I love that “sports” is this massive topic that I can attack with the most hilarious, whimsical weapons in my arsenal.
Sports are fun.