2 Things

1. Today I will be spending the afternoon and evening at a wedding. “A wedding?” you say, “On Wednesday?” Yup. “Who gets married on a Wednesday?” Well, I’m glad you asked. Chinese people get married on Wednesday! The bride, the beautiful and alluring Yang, is Chinese and she told me that there is some kind of lucky significance to this date. I don’t think the luck comes from “Wednesday” I think it comes from the “sixth” of August. So, off I go to a wedding. This is going to be one of those fun weddings where I’m not at all involved in the ceremony but I know most of the people there. I suspect there will be some Hokey Pokey in my near future. I’m pretty sure the Hokey Pokey originated in China. Okay, that’s a lie. I seriously doubt the Hokey Pokey has Chinese origins, but the groom is from Olean, and the Hokey Pokey really MIGHT have come from Olean. Either way, I’m gonna shake it all about tonight. ifyouknowwhatimean.

2. Yesterday, the fantabulous danielleia left the following comment in regards to hot Olympic swimmers:

“Ryan Lochte is another personal fave.”

Now, a recommendation from danielleia is good enough for me, so I quickly set out to google “Ryan Lochte”. The very first picture that came up was this one:


Michael Phelps in a triumphant mood.

Alas, I was not searching for images of Michael Phelps, I was searching for images of Ryan Lochte who I was assuming is a stone cold fox. I read the caption of the photo and found my man:

Hot stuff

I love him.

Now, I understand why Sports Illustrated went with this photo. Michael Phelps, the presumed darling of the Olympics, looks amazing. He’s the very image of passion and triumph. This is a great picture of Michael Phelps, but the thing is, this picture is the first picture that came up when I googled Ryan Lochte. That’s not fair. This is a TERRIBLE picture of Ryan Lochte. (Incidentally, further investigation did in fact prove that Lochte is a good looking guy.)

Ryan Lochte is my new favorite Olympian for two reasons.

1. This picture really makes me laugh. I know it’s immature of me to find this picture funny, but HELLO!, welcome to my blog, I’m 10. That expression + that posture + that fist pump = funny. For all I know, Ryan Lochte is the most graceful, debonair guy in the world, but he’ll always be this funny spazzy dude to me.

2. This photo is exactly the kind of thing that happens to me. I can pretty much guarantee that in twenty years, hanging on the wall of the couple to be married today will be a picture from the wedding reception. It will be a candid. Yang and Ben will be laughing and glancing adoringly at one another, perhaps while in conversation with some wedding guests. Yang will look radiate. Ben will look handsome, his face will display all of the love and the pride that he feels on this amazing day. They’ll be touching in some quiet way- perhaps her hand gently resting on his back, or his arm loosely slipped around her waist. The picture will somehow capture the spirit of the day. The fun, and the beauty, and the promise of the many years of love to come. It will be THE picture from the wedding; the picture that graces every mantle in every house for the rest of their lives.

Decades from now, I’m going to get an email from Yang. She’s going to tell me that one of her kids suddenly noticed something about the picture that gave the entire family a big laugh. Way in the background, hardly noticeable even if you’ve looked at the picture a thousand times, will be me. Dancing the hokey pokey. Looking not unlike Mr. Lochte up there. And then, twenty years from now, Yang is going to put that picture on Facebook. And she’s going to tag me.

As a fellow person who is constantly captured looking spazzy in photos of other people looking amazing, I believe that Ryan Lochte needs to do something at the Olympics that gets that photo off the top of his google search list. Perhaps a medal ceremony? I think that’s as good a reason to cheer for Ryan Lochte as anything else.


8 Responses to “2 Things”

  1. 1 Sherry August 6, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    I think I’m a bad Chinese person because the August 6th being lucky does sound like it’s true…but I have no idea why or what the significance is. Have fun at the wedding!

  2. 2 Katebits August 6, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Perhaps the significance is the banquet hall was cheaper on a Wednesday? Some might consider that lucky. :D

  3. 3 danielleia August 6, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY OVARIES!!!!!!! Isn’t he sight?

  4. 4 danielleia August 6, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    If I were not beyond thrilled by your comments I would have said, “Isn’t he A sight?” But, you know, whatever.

  5. 5 Chaz August 6, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    OMG, that picture is beyond hysterical!

  6. 6 Schnookie August 6, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    Katebits, this is perhaps the best blog post I’ve read all summer. LOVE IT.

    Hokey pokey hard and have a great time at the wedding!

  7. 7 kjew1684 August 6, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    Katebits I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Ryan Lochte is the guy to Phelps’ right not his left in that picture. The guy on the left is one of the Vanderkaay brothers (i think Peter but i’m not sure)

  8. 8 karen August 6, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    I don’t know about the Hokey Pokey (I always thought that came from Cheektowaga?) but the Chicken Dance is definitely from Olean. Don’t leave out the quacks on the downward twist move or everyone will know you’re not from around there.

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