Phelpseriffic

I am in full blown infatuation with Michael Phelps. My already fervent interest in the Olympics has gotten increasingly Phelps-centric. This infatuation is somewhat surprising as I tend to dislike heavy favorites, but Phelps has really won me over with his crazy winningness and his unassuming dopey demeanor. I don’t care if he’s being insanely hyped, sometimes a bunch of hoopla is totally warranted, and I think this is one of those times. Bring on the hoopla, NBC!

I am comPLETEly enthralled by the idea of Phelps breaking Spitz’ seven gold medals in a single Olympics. I’ve always been perplexed by how speed records are constantly being broken. It makes no sense that human beings can just keep getting infinitely faster and faster, but there you go. Every four years all the records fall. (Yes, I know the swimmers are using some kind of space-aged, dolphin-skin Speedos, and that the suits account for the increased speeds.) But THIS record, the seven gold medals in a single Olympics, has been around for 34 years! It’s ancient as far as records go! If this is the typical pace for breaking the record, I’m going to be, like, 114 by the time another person comes along who is capable of winning nine gold medals in one Olympics.

I got to thinking about Mark Spitz, the man whose record is on the line, so I googled him. Here is what I found:

Mark Spitz

Whoa.

Clearly Mark Spitz is going to be a tough act to follow, but I’m confident Phelps is up to the task, and if he pulls it off, I will jump for joy. I will leap in joyful celebration of sports and revel in the pure glee of witnessing a truly remarkable achievement.

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23 Responses to “Phelpseriffic”


  1. 1 Chaz August 12, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Phelps is WAY too virginal to pull off the Spitz pimp pose. I have full faith he pees spring water and shits beautiful flowers. He could never be lowered to Spitz’s pimp-a-licous level.

    However, I would give my non-existent chest to see Phelps’ abs in this pimp-like pose. YumMY!

  2. 2 Heather B. August 12, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    I hate Michael Phelps. Make him go away :P

  3. 3 Katebits August 12, 2008 at 9:58 pm

    I hate Michael Phelps. Make him go away :P

    And this is exactly why you need me, Heather. This is one of your “weaknesses”. A blindspot, if you will. Thank God I’m here to pick up the slack. :P

  4. 4 danielleia August 12, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    I knew you couldn’t resist him… ;) Happy B-log day!

  5. 5 Heather B. August 12, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    I’m not sure I’m the one with the blindspot here :P Either way, I’m just here balancing out your love, that’s all!

  6. 6 Meg August 12, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    I don’t know, Heather, I’d say this one is all you. :D

    Phelps is unreal. Yes, the hype is also unreal but it’s totally warranted. His Fly is a thing of beauty. I didn’t even know it could be done so perfectly. Uh, as you can see, I too am all about Phelps this Olympics. Rock on, Kate!

  7. 7 Courtney S.F. August 12, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    Did you see Michael Phelps’ (or is it Phelps’s?) Mom? How cute was she? I love her.

  8. 8 Katebits August 12, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    How cute was she?

    I really like how she’s all fat and not hot. Heh. Super cute.

  9. 9 Q-girl August 13, 2008 at 1:19 am

    I care not for American swimmeriedoes, nor do I care much for summer sports at all, I just get really excited about moustaches. I think I needed the world to know that.

  10. 10 Mags August 13, 2008 at 2:29 am

    I understand why people luffluffLUFF Phelps so much, I just… don’t. Make him go away. (after he beats Spitz, because I don’t like him either and he was a total baby about not being asked to the Olympics to watch Phelps beat his ass)

  11. 11 k.m.stiles August 13, 2008 at 3:30 am

    Before the Olympics started I didn’t understand all the hype about Phelps. Now I can’t stop watching him! And how insane is it that he tries to eat 8,000-10,000 calories per day!!!!!! WTF?!

  12. 12 Grrrreg August 13, 2008 at 6:55 am

    Wow. Look at those huge fingers.

    There’s no way Phelps can look that badass after the olympics. Had he kept his Fu Manchu mustache, he’d have had a chance. But without facial hair? No way.

  13. 13 Heather B. August 13, 2008 at 6:57 am

    Did you see Michael Phelps’ (or is it Phelps’s?) Mom? How cute was she? I love her.

    I want her to go away too! :PPP

  14. 14 Amy August 13, 2008 at 8:33 am

    Did anyone else see the video of Phelps the other night showing him at home and training? I was squeeing the whole time, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. He was absolutely adorable sitting there petting his bulldog and working out.

    I like the Fu Manchu that Phelps was sporting. It worked on him. It did not work when Tim Connolly tried it.

  15. 15 Jennifer August 13, 2008 at 9:29 am

    I enjoyed watching Phelps last night, but I now have a “thang” for Todd Rogers. I never thought I could get interested in and actually enjoy beach volleyball, but WOW, Rogers knows what he is doing and doesn’t look bad doing it either.

  16. 16 Chaz August 13, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Ok, I’m with Heather on his momma. (and the momma point only) She’s driving me ape. I got it the first 1,000 times I saw her…

  17. 17 Meg August 13, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Yeah, I would be perfectly happy to never see Mama Phelps again. Athletes only please! (Well, athletes and dogs. Phelps’s dog is totally adorable.)

  18. 18 Shari August 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    It’s not the mommy you want to go away. It’s the cameras that keep showing Mom and the same stuff oooover and oooover again!

  19. 19 Katebits August 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    I agree with Shari, it’s not Ma Phelps’ fault she’s being overhyped!

  20. 20 Schnookie August 13, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Hey, if Ma Phelps didn’t want to be interviewed or wear a mic, she wouldn’t have to. :P

  21. 21 Grrrreg August 13, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    I don’t even know what Phelps Ma looks like. Here, we are overhyping our first gold medalist today: Steeve Guénot, a cool Greco-Roman wrestler.

    Ok, I don’t know if he’s actually cool, but his sport looks pretty awesome on tv.

    Imagine this: two mean-looking guys wearing spandex suits, and trying to grab each other in the most akward (and disturbing) way. Even cooler, most of them are Armenian, Bulgarian, or Kyrgyz.

    http://tinyurl.com/67sw6n

    Now you can all forget men’s gymnastics.

  22. 22 Sharpie August 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    Another factor in the falling records is the size of the pool itself. The pool is 3 feet deeper than most other pools and has an extra lane on each side (10 lanes instead of the normal 8). This allows for less turbulence and thus greater speed for the swimmers. Although I do want one of those weird “ultrasonically welded” suits they have, partly because it blows my mind that something can be welded ultrasonically and partly because I like new stuff, though I’m sure they are far outside my price range and I would never have any use for it.

  23. 23 Patty (in Dallas) August 15, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Ahhhhhh, Mark Spitz. He was my first Olympic crush when I was a tiny tot. Okay, teenager. I forgot he looked THAT good.


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