KFS II, Attempting to Right What Once Went Wrong: Jochen Hecht

Alright, this is going to be a controversial one.

Last year I was all over the map with Jochen in the KFS competition.  First I eliminated him with nary a thought or care, then I reinstated him thinking that he might be The One, and then I eliminated him again when I realized he was (at the time) unsigned beyond the season.  After a full year of watching Yo-Yo, I feel I am finally in a postition to make an informed and fair ruling on his status as Kate’s Potential Favorite Sabre.  As you read this, please know that I respect and admire Jochen Hecht very much.  I wish only the very best for him and his family, and I would never treat an actual human being the way I am about to suggest is the proper way to treat Jochen Hecht.

Let’s begin….

Jochen Hecht is obviously a valuable member of the Sabres.  He’s hardworking, reliable, very handsome, and downright captainly.  He’s also signed as a Sabre for a goodly amount of time (“goodly” being some unit of years that I am too lazy to look up right now).  There is literally nothing not to like about Jochen Hecht.  He should be a front runner in Kate’s Favorite Sabre Competition….but sadly, he is not.

It is my theory that Jochen Hecht was born to be taken for granted.  I don’t have any overwhelming feelings of affection for Yo-Yo, and yet, if he were suddenly gone, I would be devastated.  He falls firmly into that “you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone” category, but the thing is, he’s not gone and he won’t be gone for quite some time, so it’s my feeling that we should just go right ahead and take him for granted.

Jochen Hecht is the guy you call when your asshole boyfriend did something lame.  Jochen will come over, he’ll bring take-out, and he’ll patiently sit on the couch listening to you whine and cry over another guy.  He’s the guy you call to get up on a ladder and get the dead bird out of your rain gutter because the task is too gross and scary to do yourself.  He’s the guy you ask to feed your cat while you’re weekending in Niagara On The Lake with Paul Gaustad.  Jochen Hecht is the guy you don’t want to date yourself, but who you don’t want dating anyone else either.

He never complains, he always does what you ask, and you love him for it….but he is not your Favorite Sabre.  We take Yo-Yo for granted because that is all he requires.  Someday, Jochen is going to have a gorgeous, smart, hilarious woman to call his biggest fan, and when that day comes our hearts will break because we will suddenly realize we loved him all along, but it will be too late.  We’ll pout and carry-on like complete assholes, but in the end we’ll begrudgingly admit that he’s way too good for us and he always was.

But for now, we frequently, knowingly, and happily take him for granted.  That is how it must be.

14 Responses to “KFS II, Attempting to Right What Once Went Wrong: Jochen Hecht”

  1. 1 Jennifer September 5, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    No, don’t take him for granted Kate. He seems like such a sweetheart, he deserves better than that. He deserves love and affection, but just not ALL your love and devotion. Perhaps he could be a runner-up?

  2. 2 Katebits September 5, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Nope, no can do Jennifer! I like my Jochen Hecht taken-for-granted and eager-to-please. I know he deserves better- that’s the tragedy!

  3. 3 Kathee September 5, 2008 at 6:11 pm

    Poor Yo-Yo. I had that exact type of relationship with a guy once, and neither one of us realized it until the other was “unavailable”. We had YEARS of “near misses” where one would become available JUST as the other gave up hope.

    I have no clue where he is now…..

  4. 4 Jennifer September 5, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Kate, you are going to regret this decision. Yo-yo could be the best thing to ever happen to you. *shaking head sadly*

  5. 5 Kathee September 5, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    I want to name his as my favorite just so he doesn’t feel under-appreciated.

  6. 6 Shari September 5, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    Kathee, that….is so sad. I’m almost in tears over here. So did you find the right guy?
    Yo Yo is like “My best friends wedding” with Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulrony (sp?) Now Dermot, I would NEVER let go!

  7. 7 Heather B. September 5, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    I’d be more offended – Yo-Yo is definitely one of my favorites – but I don’t know, I think he strikes me as the guy who’s perfectly fine being underappreciated for the most part. Less pressure, no spotlight. He’s okay with Roy-Z, Goose and Crunchy dealing with all that crap. He just wants to play hockey.

  8. 8 Katebits September 5, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    Heather, I totally agree, he doesn’t really WANT to be our favorite. He wants to be taken for granted.

  9. 9 Gambler September 6, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    That’s fine, more Yo-Yo for me. Clearly I’m just a better person than all of you. :p

    (Secretly, I think you hit the nail on the head. I agree that he deserves to be unappreciated and taken for granted, but somehow that only makes me appreciate him more. It’s a paradox.)

  10. 10 Jennifer September 6, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Gambler, I am relieved that Yo-Yo has someone to love him. Thank you for undertaking that responsibility. You will one day be rewarded greatly for your charity.

  11. 11 JB September 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Every time you all say Yo Yo it reminds me of a song from the nineties… some old school hip hop… Can’t play with my YO YO (I don’t know if that’s the title but that’s the line I can remember)… But I’m older so some of you guys may not remember that… LMAO!

  12. 12 elise September 6, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    kate, i’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…you are a genius!!!

  1. 1 5 Things « The Willful Caboose Trackback on March 22, 2010 at 12:10 pm

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