3 Things

1.  I (hiLARiously) won the football pool at work, and in doing so immediately became the Annoying Chick In The Football Pool Who Wins Despite Knowing Nothing About Football.  I promise to represent the title well during my reign.  I swear to be as obnoxious as possible as I taunt my coworkers with my awesome decision making system which involved following internal debate: “Who would win in a fight, a bronco or a saint?  A saint has pious righteousness on his side, but a bronco has four wheel drive and optional leather seating.  Hm.   I think the bronco would win easily.”  Apparently it was my pick of the Jaguars over the Colts that clinched my win, which is kind of cool because that was a pick I actually tried to get right by using adult reasoning- that reasoning being, “Wasn’t everyone all worked up because the Bills beat Jacksonville last week?  Jacksonville is supposed to be good. I think the Jags have to win eventually…..and Payton Manning has a bitch face……plus, a colt is no match for a jaguar.”

2.  Bucky Gleason wrote a column (which I refuse to link to because TBN doesn’t keep their archives up and I hate having dead links in my posts) under the headline, “Difficult to be inspired by lackluster performance”.  Really, Bucky?  I think it’s easy.  The column is vintage Bucky.  First he begrudgingly praises the team for the win, then he sagely and condescendingly dispenses advice to the fans to avoid enjoying the win too much, and then he grumps (with juuuust enough validity) about the the mistakes from first the three quarters, and then he completely ignores the rather remarkable manner in which Trent Edwards comported himself in the final ten minutes.  You know, I’m not sure Bucky “gets” sports.  If I can’t enjoy a fun come-from-behind win in which our rookie quarterback looks like a grizzled vet, why on earth would I even be watching football?  I know it’s not Bucky’s job to be a fan, but is it really his job to be a total pill?  I’m concerned that it is.

As far as the headline goes, I happen to have an email from Bucky in my inbox archives in which he personally explains to me that the columnists don’t write their own headlines.  I’ve always been confused about this little bit of publishing protocol.  It seems to me that the headline is rather important and that journalists would feel strongly about how their articles are perceived “at a glance,” but I’m sure there is a good reason that a third party writes the newspaper headlines.  I can only assume that if Bucky could have written his own headline it would have read, “Please Send Help.  The Buffalo News has Kidnapped Me and Locked Me in a Dark, Dank Basement.  I Have No Contact With the Outside World.  I’m Totally Out of Touch.  Please Call the Authorities.”  No wonder TBN insists on writing his headlines!  Poor Bucky!

3.  ModFan is back!  Please go read our Eastern Conference Season Preview right away!  (If you are horrified by the thought of reading another season preview, fear not.  Our team-by-team season preview has a rather pleasant twist:  It’s very short.)

12 Responses to “3 Things”

  1. 1 Matt September 22, 2008 at 4:28 pm

    but a bronco has four wheel drive and optional leather seating.

    I swear, I was laughing my ass off for a full minute over this line. Right up until I realized you were talking about the truck, not a horse. A horse with optional leather seating is sooooooo much funnier.

  2. 2 Heather B. September 22, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    The writers don’t write the headlines because they don’t know how the story is going to be laid out on the page and therefore don’t know how long or short the headline needs to be to fit the space allotted. I also have an email in my inbox archives explaining this – though not from Bucky – and that email makes it clear that the writes are very concerned about the headline and hate when it doesn’t really give a good impression of what the column or story says which totally makes sense. So you’re right about that part!

  3. 3 Mike in Idaho September 22, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Congrats on your football pool win, the same thing happened here many years ago in my Stanley Cup Playoff pool. The guy who won was a hockey know-nothing and his decision process was just like yours, the who would win in a fight question. Hearing him wonder about Devil v. Panther (the Devil has lots of evil powers so of course he would win) was hilarious. Bruins v. Penguins one year took a long time to sort through, since bears are tough with claws but they sleep a lot while penguins are pretty tough in their own right and know how to swim fast. Plus they’re so cute! So who could stand up to the Sabres, a sword is hard to top?

  4. 4 Katebits September 22, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Matt, I believe leather seating comes standard on most horses. :P

    Heather, I noticed that Bucky’s column is on the website now under two different headlines, “Difficult to be inspired by lackluster performance,” and then latter they added, “tip your hat to comeback win, but hold off on parade,” which is WAY more reasonable. It probably wasn’t fair to judge Bucky so harshly based on the headline, but his article got on my nervies. I wonder if he is even aware of how smug sentences like “If you forgot what division contenders looked like, they were alongside Bruce Smith during halftime” sound. Not to mention how misleading. The Bills ARE division contenders. I hardly see how that’s up for debate. Do they have it locked up? Of course not! But they are certainly contenders.

    Sigh. I know I’m preaching to the choir here. I don’t know why I delved into Bucky Gleason territory today- I should leave that to you!

    So you’re right about that part!

    Are you suggesting that I’m wrong about some other part? Are you trying to tell me TBN doesn’t have Bucky locked in a dank dark basement? :P

  5. 5 Katebits September 22, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    So who could stand up to the Sabres, a sword is hard to top?

    Mike, this is so true! Although, I certainly hope this particular Saber has magical properties because a sword all on it’s own couldn’t do much damage. :P Penguins versus Bruins seems like a no brainer for the bear, but you’re right- the Penguin could ambush him will he was snoozing. Hee!

  6. 6 Daniel September 22, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    Here’s hoping the phrase “…and Payton Manning has a bitch face” lives on for all time. well done kate

  7. 7 Heather B. September 22, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    Oh, don’t get me wrong, Kate… Bucky’s column was TOTALLY annoying, misleading headline or no. Fans are fans. If they want to run around with untempered emotions, good for them. That’s one of the things I love most about Buffalo fans. Heartbreak after heartbreak but there we go, hoping every single year that THIS TIME IT’S DIFFERENT! And while I wasn’t around during the Super Bowl years, come on, don’t tell me those teams never pulled out wins after looking like crap for three quarters. That’s part of sports and it’s part of what good teams do.

    I’m not a fan of Bucky though – I know, my distaste is subtle – so take that with a grain of salt. If they don’t have Bucky locked in a basement, they might want to consider it :P

  8. 8 Heather B. September 22, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    Did you read Jerry Sullivan’s column? I don’t think I’ve ever said this before and I don’t really anticipate saying it again, but you should if you didn’t. It’s MUCH better. A good palate cleanser after Bucky’s pessimism.

  9. 9 Katebits September 22, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    Thanks Daniel!

    Heather, I DID read Jerry’s column and I’m listening to him on the radio right now and he is SUCH a funny breath of fresh air.

  10. 10 Shari September 22, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    No comment on Bucky or Jerry.
    I’m listening to the Sabres right this very second and oh my, how we’ve missed Rick Jenerettes voice!!
    Congrats on the win Kate!

  11. 11 CrotchetyOriginalSam September 22, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    I love the Chick Who Wins Despite Knowing Nothing About Insert Sport Here. I spend most of March every year trying to stop Watkins (Kate knows who he is) from killing said Chick in our NCAA pool, while I laugh at the carnage.

    By the way, my Stanley Cup pool was won last season by a 9-year-old boy…

  12. 12 Katebits September 22, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    Sam, the weirdest thing about being That Chick is that I never EVER would have guessed that I would enjoy that role- but I DO. I can’t WAIT to be obnoxious about it at work tomorrow. I would HAPPILY taunt Watkins if I had the opportunity. I’m playing dumb even on the picks that I made using sound reasoning. I’m like, “The Bengals have really ugly uniforms, and a Giant could EASILY beat a tiger, so I choose the Giants,” when really I chose the Giants because they’re the Super Bowl champs and the one guy I know who is a Bengals fan is already comically suicidal about the season. It’s as if I’d rather be perceived as being HUGELY stupid than be perceived as someone who would take football picks seriously. It’s interesting.

    I’m sure I’ll never win the football pool again, but if I do, I might officially become the most annoying girl in the world.

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