The Seven Stages of An Unexpected Win

1. SHOCK

I really thought there was NO way the Sabres would win tonight.  I can’t believe they didn’t phone it in!  I can’t believe they stuck to “the system”!  I can’t believe I just referred to “not allowing the Rangers to score at will” as “the system”!  I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LOOKED SO…..STEADY!  WTF?  I need to lie down.

2. DENIAL

Surely the defense isn’t this much improved from last season.  This is just a “new season high,” right?  Thomas Vanek will go back to sucking soon. This is just a phase.  I was prepared for the Sabres to be good offensively, but there is NO WAY they’ve only allowed three goals in three games.  This can’t be happening.

3. BARGAINING

Thomas Vanek, if you keep playing like this, I’ll do my best to stop screaming, “YOU OWE ME TEN MILLION DOLLARS” at the television everytime you touch the puck.  Yo-Yo and Goose, if you take your finger steroids, I’ll never make fun of your delicate, girl fingers again.  Craig Rivet, if you keep being all captainly and this-is-how-we-do-it-in-this-lockerroom-ly, I’ll write ode, after loving ode, in your glorious name.  Paille, if you keep up with your general awesomeness, I’ll stop calling you a mouth breather.  Staffy, if you keep working hard, I’ll let you eat HeatherB’s brains.  (Sorry, Heather.  It’s for the greater good.)

4. GUILT

Maybe I shouldn’t have spent all of last season calling Vanek a slag-faced whore.

5. ANGER

I cannot believe that Anne at Sabretooth’s House PUT A PROJECT RUNWAY FINALE SPOILER IN HER POST WITH ABSOLUTELY NO “SPOILER ALERT” WARNING.  I’ll never forgive you for this Anne!  NEVER!  THIS IS WAR!  (Just kidding.  :P)

6. DEPRESSION

I wish every day could be a “We stopped the Rangers from going 6-0, AND we ruined their perfect string of penalty kills,” day.

7. ACCEPTANCE

The Sabres easily beat the Rangers by playing prudently.  That really just happened.

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15 Responses to “The Seven Stages of An Unexpected Win”


  1. 1 JBo October 16, 2008 at 2:10 am

    I agree with you on all stages except stage two, the denial. I was quite taken aback from that. Now I’m all superstitious because you said all those things. *stays away from black cats, ladders, broken mirrors, and tails-side-up pennies*

  2. 2 Katebits October 16, 2008 at 2:15 am

    I didn’t even consider the superstitious implications of the denial phase, JBo! It was denial- just a defense mechanism- it’s not what I really believe. I think it’s harmless. :P

  3. 3 TheTick October 16, 2008 at 6:33 am

    I thought of you as my wife kept flipping the channel between the Sabres game and Project Runway.

  4. 4 ANNE October 16, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Oh No!!!! I’m so sorry!!!!!! I was so caught up that I didn’t realize until this morning that I hadn’t put in a spoiler alert!!! I FAIL!!!!

    But your list made me laugh out loud in the middle of class so perhaps that was your payback. hahahha I look like a fool.

  5. 5 Katebits October 16, 2008 at 8:34 am

    No worries Anne! I went out for some birthday drinks for a friend right after the game was over, so I didn’t have time to watch PR. I’ll still watch it today and enjoy it just fine. I have already looked at the final collections online weeks ago and it didn’t seem like much of a competition. :D

  6. 6 Erin October 16, 2008 at 8:51 am

    BEST. GAME. EVER. Is this what it feels like to love, love, love your team?!! I….I……I……trust them. Wow, that felt good.

  7. 7 ANNE October 16, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Not gonna lie, my friends were all divided but I could tell she was the winner. Korto’s were beauuuutiful but they weren’t really that new or different. They were really nice but not like brand new. Kenley herself and her collection were too immature and Leanne’s were the only ones that were unqiue and interesting. My friends were like “but she doesn’t use color” and I was like “a lot of designers don’t.” Every piece Christian sent down the runway was black, hahaha.

    Oh and THAT GAME WAS WICKED SWEET. Phew. had to throw that in there.

  8. 8 JB October 16, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    It was a beautiful game! Nothing like taking the wind out of their sails! HAHAHAHHAHA!

  9. 9 markberm October 16, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Great post, Kate.

    I can’t believe I’m reveling in the fact that the Sabres have become New Jersey…or Boston, Minnesota, or any other boring D team you can think of). Trap them all to hell, I say!

    Oh yeah – Old Mr. 23 didn’t look so great last night did he? Ha!

  10. 10 Kozyshank October 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    markberm is spot on…#23 just watched vanek blow past him and you can see his late reaction as the camera goes to Paille, it’s got “AHHH CRAP!!” written all over it…I had a good chuckle

  11. 11 elise October 16, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    Kate! if the Sabres keep this up, you will have NO EXCUSE to not cheer for the Red Sox. Tonight Kate…you can start tonight!

    Thank you very much.

  12. 12 Katebits October 16, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    Elise, I’ll tell you what. If the Sabres win the Stanley Cup this year, next year, I’ll root for the Red Sox.

    Mark, did you hear Vanek’s interview last night? He was all, “Yeah, on both goals i just got ahead of the Rangers player.” short pause “Actually, I think it was Drury both times.” They were playing it over and over again on WGR this morning. I thought that was pretty funny.

  13. 13 Schnookie October 16, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    He was all, “Yeah, on both goals i just got ahead of the Rangers player.” short pause “Actually, I think it was Drury both times.”

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That’s FANTASTIC! If I was in charge of things at WGR, I’d have that on a continuous loop. Heh. Heh heh heh. *Happy sigh*

  14. 14 Katebits October 16, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    You should hear how funny it is when played four times in rapid succession, Schnookie. I was totally oblivious to the fact that Vanek was smoking Drury all evening during the game, so it was extra funny to hear about it on my way to work this morning.

  15. 15 markberm October 16, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    <>

    Kate, that just made my day. Thanks for that!

    The demons are being exorcised. I knew something was a foot when Bucky jumped on the bandwagon.


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