Mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The Sabres are playing the Minnesota Wild! I may have lived in Philadelphia after college, and I might be a Buffalonian now, but I am a Minnesotan at my core. Good-natured passive aggression runs through my veins. I am a Minnesotan by birth, but I am a Buffalonian and Sabres fan by choice. Let’s go Buff-a-lo!
Favorite Sabre: Thomas Vanek is holding strong in this category. His sudden transformation from Slag-Faced Whore to foxy Mr. “You can count on me” Pants, has taken me by surprise.
Least Favorite Sabre: Craig Rivet’s knee. What a jerk.
Prediction: The Wild will try to trap us to death, Ddeerreekk Bbooggaarrdd will demolish Andrew Peters, the final score will be 2-1, and CrotchetyOriginalSam will ignore the entire thing because his beloved Phillies are playing game 2 tonight. (Not that I blame him a bit.)
Twin Cities related thing representing my hopes for this game: “Spoonbridge and Cherry“ sculpture from the Walker Art Center’s Sculpture Garden.
I love how this giant sculpture hovers over Minneapolis, all delicious and adorable. Um, I have no idea what it has to do with hockey though……Oooh! I know! The spoon is the Eastern Conference, and the cherry is the Sabres sitting AT THE TOP BEING AWESOME. Oh, that’s deep. That’s a $100,000 liberal arts education talking, folks.
After the 1st (0-1, Sabres)
Summary of events: First the Wild tried to kill hockey, then Staffy was like, “This one is for the mouse potatoes,” and proceeded to score a REALLY foxy goal. As a mouse potato, I thank you Drew Stafford.
Favorite Sabre: I TOTALLY knew that Staffy would be back. I love him.
Least Favorite Sabre: Paul Gaustad’s thumb.
Twin Cities related thing representing this game so far: Downtown Minneapolis skyways
Sometimes it’s so cold in Minnesota that if you go outside for too long, you’ll die. So, in order to make downtown useable, they connected all the buildings with connecting walkways that we call “skyways”. You can walk for 8 miles in downtown Minneapolis without ever going outside. The skyways are just like this hockey game because……um…..The Wild are trying to… um….freeze the Sabres out, but it’s not going to work because…um….the Sabres can just take the skyway get Staffy to score….? Something like that.
After the 2nd (2-1, Wild)
Summary of events: Chaos at my house. First, Charlotte the dog was fighting with her guest Katie the dog, then Dan came over to give me keys to his place so that I can feed his cat while he and Ann are in Philadelphia this weekend. Then, in the middle of the chaos I glanced up and Crunchy was lackadaisically allowing a goal to waltz in over his shoulder. Then I looked up again, and the Wild were winning. Then, I realized that if I see that commercial where the guy says “Hot girls…..on skates,” even ONE MORE time tonight, I’m going to cry.
Favorite Sabre: Still Staffy.
Least Favorite Sabre: Jochen Hecht’s girly finger.
Twin Cities related thing representing the 2nd period: Minneapolis South High School
A perfectly good school. My windowless prison.
After the 3rd (3-3)
Summary of events: Crunchy shot the puck right into his own net and then he was all, “Oopsies. My bad.” Then the rest of the Sabres were like, “We can’t win a game in which Crunchy scored an own goal, can we?” So they skated around lifelessly for 15 minutes. Then Thomas Vanek was like, “HELL YES WE CAN STILL WIN THIS GAME BITCHES!” Then both teams decided that they wanted the guaranteed point. Then Katebits was like, “Okay, this is bizonkers. You guys were looking totally lifeless and then out of no where you came back! I love you!”
At the End, (4-3, Sabres)
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I can’t believe they won that game! That was awesome! Gambler was at that game! They did it for Gambler!
Seriously! What just happened?! The Sabres have 13 points right now. It took the Sabres until, like, Februray to get to 13 points last season. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Minnesota related thing representing this game: Princess Kay of the Milky Way butter princess bust from the Minnesota State Fair.
Much like the Minnesota State Fair, that game was fabulous.