Dear Sports

Dear Baseball,

Sweet mother of mercy, you’re a slow poke.  Do you really need so many pitching changes?   I will always love you, but DANG you’re a slow moving mofo.  (But thanks for creating a situation where we got to see five men in the infield last night.  That was a hoot.  I’m rooting for Philly, but I wish that sassy scheme had worked, just for the wacky factor.)




Dear Football,

I like you when the Bills win, but when they lose I feel resentful about the time I lost watching you.  I think I’d often prefer to be doing other things.  Sorry.




Dear Basketball,

Um, I know almost nothing about you.  Carry on.




Dear Hockey,

I love you so.  I love how you are fast, and beautiful, and dangerous.  I love how there is very little downtime during a hockey game.  I think you are so much better than the others.



5 Responses to “Dear Sports”

  1. 1 TheTick October 26, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    I could’ve written this post.

    Well, maybe I wouldn’t’ve used the word love so much. And there might have been more swearing, and maybe a reference to The Tick or something. But yeah.

  2. 2 Mike in Idaho October 27, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Katebits, you are so right about baseball and football. Baseball is so slow I just can’t watch it anymore and football I have to watch with a DVR. Viewing tip: You can watch a complete football game in approximately 1 hour if you DVR the game and wait to watch it for about two hours after it starts. There are a zillion commercials you can skip over and if you are an advanced remote operator, you can use the 30 second skip to skip all huddles and just go direct from play to play. Yea I probably have ADD but I prefer to think of it as getting the most out of my day. Unfortunately my Chargers this year don’t seem to be worth the trouble…

  3. 3 collegesports October 27, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    dear kate.
    you are immersed. hockey is boring. a couple goals every hour!!! step away, be ojective. try viewing sports with passion, love of the game, and competitive (not money) drive.
    college basketball
    college football
    college baseball
    college soccer

  4. 4 Katebits October 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Tick, I’ve noticed that I am more reluctant to swear on TWC since the Buffalo News article. FUCK THAT! :P

    Mike, that is a REALLY good idea about football. I guess I’ve felt some obligation to spend the day reveling in the “Sunday football experience,” but I’ve discovered I really only like the all day football extravaganza if the Bills win. Hee. DVRing and fast forwarding is not a bad idea.

    College sports….I dunno. I respect what you are saying about the positives of college sports, but you kinda lost me with the whole, “hockey is boring” argument. I definitely love hockey.

  5. 5 CrotchetyOriginalSam October 28, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    Dear collegesports,

    try viewing sports with passion, love of the game, and competitive (not money) drive.

    HAAAAAAAhahahahahhahahaha… heh… no money in college sports… awesome… hee….

    …oh, wait. Were you serious about that?

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